American Splendor Page #3

-Did l say l watched television?

-You mentioned you watch TV...

you listen to your Jazz records, you read...

you write, you drew your stick figures...

so you could plan for your next comic book.

l've seen many of your stick figures.

That seems to be pretty interesting.

-Chocolate Jelly beans, l'm gonna try one.

-Go ahead.

Excuse me, can l help you?

Give me...

two crullers...

Jelly doughnut with the powdered sugar.

Thanks for coming.

-You got any of that day-old bread?

-l think so.

Here you go.

$3.

You're Harvey Pekar?

Alice Quinn, from school.

College, yeah.

We had a couple of Lit classes together.

What happened to you?

You disappeared after two semesters.

Yeah, l know.

l got good grades and all,

but there was that required Math class...

hanging over my head.

Eventually, the pressure

got to be too much, so....

You're doing okay, anyway.

l heard all about

your Jazz reviews and your comics.

-You did?

-Sure, you're famous.

Meanwhile, l got my degree

and l'm Just a plain old wife and mother.

l'm not doing as great as you think.

My second wife divorced me,

l work a dead end Job...

as a file clerk.

Sometimes l hang out

with the guys on the corner...

but most of the time

l Just stay at home by myself and l read.

You're luckier than you think.

Between my husband and my kids...

it's impossible for me

to curl up with a good book.

l'm reading this book by Dreiser now.

-Jennie Gerhardt.

-That's one of my favorites.

Yeah?

l hope that book don't end like

so many of those naturalist novels...

with someone getting crushed to earth...

by forces he can't control.

l think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

l mean, it's certainly

not your Hollywood happy ending...

but it's pretty truthful,

which is rare these days.

-This is me.

-All right.

-Nice car.

-Thanks.

-l don't have one yet.

-Can l give you a lift somewhere?

No, that's all right.

lt's a nice day, l'll Just walk.

lt was nice seeing you.

When I got home,

I finished reading jennie Gerhardt.

It was real good. That Alice was right.

Sure, Lester, the main character,

croaks in the end...

but at least he's old

and dies a natural, dignified death.

I was more alone that weekend than any.

Sometimes in my sleep,

I'd feel a body next to me...

like an amputee feels a phantom limb.

All I did was think about jennie Gerhardt

and Alice Quinn...

and all the decades of people I had known.

The more I thought,

the more I felt like crying.

Life seemed so sweet and so sad...

and so hard to let go of in the end.

But hey, man,

every day is a brand new deal, right?

Just keep on working

and something's bound to turn up.

What happened to

the new American Splendor?

-l think we sold them, babe.

-All of them?

Yeah.

Rand, l put one aside for myself

next to the register.

l haven't even had time to read it yet.

Sorry, joyce, l didn't know

you were such a Splendor fan.

Next time, take it home.

Maybe l'll call the publisher.

lt'll take so damn long. Sh*t!

Why does everything in my life

have to be such a complicated disaster?

-Okay, maybe we can call someone--

-What is this?

All right. Okay.

l'm gonna hustle

before the vibe in here gets any worse.

You can Just hang.

''Dear Mr. pekar...

''greetings from the second smallest state

in the Union...

''an endless plastics and nylon plantation...

''controlled by giant chemical corporations.

''To make matters more dismal, there are

no decent comic book stores in my town...

''which is why my partner and I

opened one ourselves.

''Despite our steadily faltering business...

''my partner managed to sell the last copy

of American Splendor Number 8...

''out from under me.

''I'm a big fan,

and I hate to wait for a new order.

''Is there any way

I can get it from you direct?

''Sincerely, Joyce Brabner. ''

She's got good-looking handwriting.

''Dear Joyce, thanks for the.... ''

''Dear Joyce, thanks for the letter.

''What do you do besides selling comics?''

Anybody in the room ever done

any creative writing of any sort?

''I'm a sometime activist,

and I teach writing to prisoners.

''I try to help them build an interior life...

''and make art out of

their monotonous, suffocating routine. ''

This sounds familiar.

''So you married or what?''

''I'm divorced, thank God. ''

Look, l think you and l

got a lot in common, you know?

How am l gonna get you

to come visit me in Cleveland?

-Cleveland?

-Yeah.

You think that's a good idea?

lt's a great idea.

You should meet me

because l'm a great guy.

Despite the way my comics read...

I got a lot of redeeming characteristics.

l don't know. Where would l stay?

l don't know. With me.

Don't worry.

l'm not gonna put no moves on you.

l'm not worried about that.

Hold on,

l Just spilled my chamomile tea all over me.

So what are you worried about then?

lt's the way all the different artists draw you.

-What?

-l don't really know what to expect.

Sometimes you look like a younger Brando.

But then, the way Crumb draws you...

you look like a hairy ape, with all these...

wavy, stinky lines undulating off your body.

l don't really know what to expect.

No, those are motion lines.

l'm an active guy.

Look, Just come out here...

and l will try to be anyone

that you want me to be, okay?

That's a dangerous offer.

l'm a notorious reformer.

Are you joyce?

-Hey, Harvey.

-Hey.

-So we finally meet in person.

-Yeah.

Look, before we get started with any of this,

you might as well know l had a vasectomy.

-What's wrong?

-Nothing.

Something's wrong.

You keep looking around everywhere.

l guess l never imagined

you'd eat in a place like this.

What, me? No, l've never been here.

l thought you'd like it.

-But obviously you don't, do you?

-No, it's fine. What difference does it make?

l don't know. None, l guess.

They got a lot of meat on this menu.

You're a vegetarian?

Kind of, you know, l mean....

Ever since l got a pet cat...

l've had a lot of trouble eating animals.

l support and identify

with groups like PETA...

but unfortunately,

l'm a self-diagnosed anemic.

Also, l have all these

food allergies to vegetables...

which give me serious intestinal distress.

l guess l have

a lot of borderline health disorders...

that limit me politically

when it comes to eating.

You're a sick woman.

Not yet, but l expect to be.

Everyone in my family

has some sort of degenerative illness.

Good evening.

l was gonna clean up...

but why should l give you

any false notions?

The truth is,

l got a serious problem with cleanliness.

lf l had to wash a dish 10 times,

it'd still be dirty.

They even kicked me out of the army

'cause l couldn't learn to make a bed.

l've seen worse.

Could you get me some water

and a few aspirin?

What, you got a headache?

-No, but l want to avoid one.

-Yeah.

Let me tell you something.

Sure is nice to have company.

You know, l mean...

despite all your problems,

you seem like a great person.

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