Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Page #7

I just can't believe what Ron did to you.

- It is so awful.

- Yes.

Have you ever thought about

fighting fire with fire?

What do you mean?

I have some information

that you can choose to use or not use.

Up to you.

Ron Burgundy will read anything

that is put on that Teleprompter.

And when I say anything,

I mean anything.

Arnold, cue one.

After the Fotomat was destroyed,

the bear scampered back

into the woods.

Apparently he wasn't too happy

with his color prints.

From the entire Channel 4 News Team,

I'm Veronica Corningstone.

And I'm Ron Burgundy.

Go f*** yourself, San Diego.

What in the name...

No!

Nobody talks about my city that way!

Ron Burgundy's ass is grass!

Nice work, everyone. Sharp broadcast.

Really good.

Everyone on the floor as well.

Really a lot of hustle. I liked it.

Dump out! Dump out!

Hello, Edward.

- Ron, I've got to fire you.

- I've got to fire you.

Bing, bong, bong. You're fired, Ed.

Do you even know what you just said?

- Great Odin's raven!

- Are you happy, Ron?

Veronica.

She put that in the Teleprompter.

You're probably right,

but this is bad, Ron. Real bad.

My hands are tied. I... I gotta fire you.

Ed, let's hold on. Let's count to 10.

That's a rash decision.

Is this about something else?

Ed, there's 300

very angry San Diego-ites.

San Diego-ins. San Diego-uns.

- San Dieg-ons.

- San Diegans.

San Diegans out in front of the station.

- They want Ron's blood.

- They want to hurt you.

Why did you say that? Why?

Why, Ron? Why?

- You're my hero, Ron.

- Garth, I...

And you come out

with stink like that, poop!

You poop mouth!

Get all the poop out of your mouth!

If I were to give you money out of my

wallet, would that ease the pain?

I hate you, Ron Burgundy! I hate you!

Ron? Ron!

I never wanted it to be like this.

I can't believe you did this to me!

Are you happy?

No, Ron, I'm not!

It was supposed to be a joke.

I mean, it's still kind of funny.

But it's not.

I have nothing left! Nothing!

I've been reduced to rubble!

Don't you know

I would never say the word f***?

I would never f***ing

ever f***ing say that!

Ever!

Let's go. These people

are about to pull you apart.

I'm sorry.

Get your hands off him, you bastards!

Don't you know I would never say f***?

- F***!

- Move.

No! No!

Mr. Burgundy, you should be

ashamed of yourself.

- Please, I...

- You're an awful man!

You are truly a disappointment

to us all, Mr. Burgundy!

Bob Dylan once wrote,

The Times They are A-Changin'.

Ron Burgundy

had never heard that song.

So when he fell, he fell hard.

It"s Channel 4 News at 6:00!

Good evening, San Diego.

I'm lead anchor Veronica Corningstone.

Tonight"s top story,

an ultrasound of Ling Wong,

the most famous panda in the world,

shows that her baby is doing quite well.

No!

Ron Burgundy, stay classy.

Hello, this is Ron.

Hello.

Who's there? I'm talking. Hello.

Who is this?

Baxter, is that you? Baxter!

Bark twice if you"re in Milwaukee.

Is this Wilt Chamberlain?

Have the courage

to say something. Hello!

Hello!

Oh, Tino, thank you

for letting me come in here.

- I'm glad I can still get a good meal.

- Yeah, sure.

Here you are,

the chef made this special for you.

You eat that

for the way you talk about my city.

I will not eat that.

You're going to eat that cat poo.

I will not eat cat poop.

- You will eat cat poo.

- Ron Burgundy says no!

You make a fool of me

and everyone here.

You put that cat poo in your mouth.

- No!

- Yes!

No!

- I will not eat cat poop.

- You will do it immediately!

- No!

- You will!

- Fine, I'll try to eat one...

- Get in there.

If I take one bite

will you get me a steak?

If I take one bite of sh*t

will you bring me a steak?

I'll think about it.

Yeah, get in there.

- Yeah, start with the eggplant.

- I am so hungry.

- There.

- Oh, God!

A steak. A big steak for him, please.

No! I had one bite.

- That's not enough.

- Son of a b*tch.

You like this?

Oh, don't cry. Don't cry.

He's not crying. He's not crying.

- Don't cry in my...

- I'll eat the sh*t. I don't care.

- I'll eat the entire hunk of sh*t.

- Okay, just finish it up.

Don't you feel better now?

Hey, you watch yourself, mister.

- Hey, lady in the red hat. Yeah.

- You smell.

Guys. Guys, it's me, Ron. Fellas!

Harken said he'd fire us

if we talked to you.

- What?

- I'm sorry.

Brian!

- It's Ronnie!

- Ron!

- Champ!

- Ron!

Champ, come on. Come on!

Go, Brick.

My sweet Brick.

Brick, come hug me. I know you want to.

I am completely miserable, San Diego!

It's so damn hot!

Milk was a bad choice!

Yes, yes. Chris, listen to me.

Put down the gun

and let the marching band go.

We'll play it off as a prank.

We'll straighten it out later.

I'm getting another call.

Ed Harken.

What? Oh, my God!

Listen, everybody,

Ling Wong the panda is giving birth!

Get Corningstone over there right away!

The network is picking up the feed.

I want a shot of that panda being born!

This is Ted Nightingale,

Channel 6 News Los Angeles,

reporting from the San Diego Zoo.

And this is the moment

the entire world has been waiting for.

I can only speculate

as to the sex of the panda,

but if I had to guess, I'd say female.

- Excuse me. Press.

- Hey, lady, watch it.

Excuse me, I'm press. Thank you.

What do you got?

Nothing. All I can see is a blue curtain.

Oh, damn it.

Go over there and see

if you can get a shot. I'll go this way.

Hey, lady,

why don't you go fetch me a sandwich?

Okay, I'll go get your sandwich.

Then I'll show you the ratings

where you're number two to a woman.

Ouch. Don't lose any more hair over it.

- Whatever.

- We're live, Mr. Mantooth.

Good afternoon, San Diego.

We're here today to celebrate

the birth of a panda.

Sky rockets in flight

Afternoon delight

I make fart noises with my mouth

And I like to cut...

Hey, nut job! Quit the singing!

Creeping out all the regulars.

I'm expressing my inner anguish

through the majesty of song!

Look, drunkie,

you been coming in here every day,

stinking up the joint with your craziness.

- Now, what the hell is wrong with you?

- I got no heart!

Because a she-devil stole it!

You know

what the worst part about it is?

She's better than me!

She's better than me.

You know, times are changing.

Ladies can do stuff now.

You're gonna have to learn

how to deal with that.

What? Were you saying something?

Look, I don't speak Spanish.

Scotty. Scotty, I have the shot.

Scotty. Scotty!

Hey, that is some fantastic shot

you got there.

The kind of shot that gets you

to the top of network news.

- Oh, well, we hope.

- We at public television,

we're really down

with the woman's lib thing.

That is so refreshing to me.

Because the struggle I've...

Howie, we have the shot.

Up a little. Up, up.

You son of a b*tch!

Don't want to wake up your friends.

Help!

- Simply vanished.

- How do you lose your lead anchor?

- I can't find Corningstone.

- Where the hell is she?

- No one's seen her.

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