Anger Management Page #7

You know what else Dave finds

particularly piquant?

Recalling your nut-job sister

struggling with her underpants...

...in a straitjacket.

You think that's funny?

Dave used to con her

into getting naked...

...by saying that her clothes

had ghosts in them.

That never happened.

Then he'd pull out his winkie

and tell her...

...it was a strawberry ice-cream cone.

Is that what you've come here

to tell me?

Did you expose yourself...

...to my sister?

-And don't shove me again.

-It's shower-room humiliation again.

He's giving you a wet willie and

making you chew on his jockstrap...

...and fart blossom and all this.

Answer me, Buznik!

Did you get it on with my sister?

Over and over again.

And she moaned like a wildebeest.

Wildebeest.

Whoo! Now, that felt good!

I wasn't expecting that

from a Buddhist.

-I'm a little pissed off right now.

-You all right? You're all right.

David! David! No, David!

Easy, boy!

Sorry.

Help me, brother.

-Help me.

-Okay. Come on. Come on.

Okay, we're even. We're even now.

-I went crazy. I'm so sorry.

-I started it.

-I started it.

-It's all right.

And l'm gonna finish it!

Now we're even, butt-lick!

No! Don't! Don't! Don't!

"What's that, Auntie Em?

lt's a twister!"

My nipples!

Pena! Look! Your sister's back.

I got Casper in my clothes!

-Pretty good.

-Thanks, baby.

I'll kill you!

You want that rake?

You can't get that rake from me!

Look, everybody!

Pana Banana's got a heinie.

-He's got a heinie!

-I give!

-I give!

-All right. I'm sorry.

-Friends?

-You suck!

Shankman!

Wedgie! Wedgie! Wedgie!

-I've seen enough.

-Hold it right there.

This party's by invitation only.

Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Hold it back there! Come on, come on.

Start the car!

Go! Go! Go! Come on, let's go!

Now! Now! Now! Now!

Oh, boy!

We were like Butch and Sundance!

Oh, my God! l thought you

were going to shoot somebody!

You really threw me some curves

back there, kid.

I never expected it to go that way.

But you kicked some serious

monk ass there, baby.

You're damn right, baby!

-How did it feel?

-I feel good! l feel incredible!

I feel bad about molesting his sister

all those times, but it's all right!

-You really molested a crazy girl?

-No. Got you.

Congratulations, keed,

you've reached level three.

I would never have done anything

with that girl.

Don't worry. Dr. Rydell explained

everything to me, and l get it.

Dr. Rydell brought up an interesting

fact about me being a procrastinator...

...and l was going to wait

for a Yankee game to do this...

...but....

I don't know. I.... It's something

l wanted to say to you...

...and l'm having a hard time saying it

for some reason. But....

It's just that monks, they talk sh*t...

...but they can't back it up.

That's what was so hard

to say to me?

You know, when l was on the phone

with Buddy, he gave me some advice.

That's great.

His advice is a little cuckoo...

...but somehow it works.

Well, then l guess l'll just do

what he suggested.

I don't think that we should

see each other for a while.

Buddy thinks that a trial separation

will ultimately...

...strengthen our relationship.

Now, Fury Fighters...

...what keys do we need to possess

before we can--?

Dave. You're late.

-Can l talk to you alone, please?

-Sure you can--

You told Linda we should have

a trial separation?

-Yes.

-Yes?!

Yes!

Separating from Linda

is a crucial part of our strategy.

My strategy is to keep my girlfriend.

All right. Strictly as a friend.

Linda's been thinking about

leaving you for some time.

She loves you, but she

recognizes you're a neurotic mess.

You're jealous...

...self-loathing, resentful, insecure

and a premature ejaculator.

She told you l was

a premature ejaculator?

That part l was assuming.

I haven't done that in,

like, eight months.

Anyway, a trial separation will make

you both gain a deeper appreciation...

...for David Buznik.

After she dates a couple of losers,

she'll be begging you to take her back.

So l've been thinking about it,

Linda...

...and a trial separation is exactly

what we need.

And ifyou want to start seeing...

...other penises-- People...

...l want you to feel free.

You sound upset. Are you all right?

I'm fine. Just date anybody you'd like.

And don't hold back, okay?

Because there's a lot of nice guys

out there and l'm cool with it.

I'll be strong.

So the guy asked me for change.

I laughed. He cursed.

I whizzed on him.

-What else could l do, huh?

-You should've tossed a rock at him.

That's your solution for everything.

The guy's homeless, right?

Let him be. Set your anger free.

Look at you, Lou. You've really calmed

down since working with Dr. B.

-We all have.

-Hey, fellas.

Could you bring it down a little bit?

We're trying to have dinner.

The walls are really thin.

-This is a free country!

-What's going on with you?!

-Are you crazy?!

-Go in! Just go in.

Goosfraba! Goosfraba!

Goosfraba.

Very good.

What are you guys doing here?

I need to see Dr. B. I'm in crisis.

He's not here.

Why don't you go look for him?

Davey, your girlfriend stopped by

and she dropped these off for you.

Those are her keys to my apartment.

I think your girlfriend's cheating

on you.

-Why?

-I heard her on her cell phone...

...talking to a guy...

-...making a date.

-I'm so sorry, Dave.

Andrew.

I'll kill that guy.

She ain't cheating on me by the way.

We agreed to take a break.

She's not taking a break

from the old sausage, huh?

Sorry.

She's meeting the Andrew at Mort's

on 86th Street now...

...if you want to go watch.

No. No, l can't do that.

We're here.

-Both of you showed up?

-You like Stacy better or something?

It's just that l want to go on a fake

date to get my girlfriend jealous...

...so l really only needed

one of you guys.

Well, now she'll be twice as jealous.

-So do you know the guy she's with?

-I think l might.

Let me ask you something.

Because of your profession

you probably have seen a lot of them.

Does size count at all, or is that just

some weird thing guys think about?

This is where Gina and l

always get into a heated debate.

I like them when they're really big.

And l think it's better

when they're enormous.

Good evening.

Table for three?

-May we take your coats?

-No. We're okay.

The girls are gonna

take their coats off.

Would you like a b*obs--? Booth?

Actually, could you give us a table

overlooking that table right there?

-Sure. Right this way.

-Thank you.

Oh, my God. It's Stacy and Gina.

Who?

Nobody.

I'm so hungry l could eat you, Dave.

Yummy. Yummy.

-Let's get wasted tonight.

-Definitely.

Have fun.

Lucky son of a b*tch.

What?

I can't believe this.

Excuse me.

Linda. I'm a little embarrassed. I

didn't know you were going to be here.

I guess not. Are those your friends?

I'm supposed to date other people

so l figured l'd give it a try.

Gina, can you stop sucking

on Stacy's finger for one second?

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