Another Kind of Wedding Page #5

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I miss you.

I'll see ya soon.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Okay. - Bye.

- Barbara:
All right, you got your passport?

- Check.

- Phone?

- Check.

Nightlight?

That's really funny, ma,

some gold material.

Travel books? (Laughs)

You know I do, I don't get

why that's funny.

Like, what is wrong with having

travel books? For real?

They're full of...

Kurt:
Hey, Matty! Matty Matty!

- Come here!

- Oh, I love you.

Me too. Have fun.

Thank you. And really,

thank you.

For what?

For never giving two shits

about anything. It inspires me.

Oh, hey, Matty...

don't forget to call Louisa.

- I won't. Bye.

- Bye!

Thank you, everybody!

(Overlapping chatter

and laughter)

Barbara:
...somebody locked it.

Who the f*** locked it?

Okay. Not the most normal

Saturday afternoon activity,

but you know, dancing

is actually really good

for your serotonin levels.

I tell it to all my patients.

You can't really feel suicidal

when you're doing the running

man. (Chuckles)

- Well, I have a new therapist.

- Oh.

- Hilda.

- And how is Hilda?

- She's a great kisser.

- Ugh. Kurt.

Although, I do have a problem

and I'm running into it.

- Maybe you can help me?

- Hmm.

If we're talking for a half

an hour

and then f***ing for a half

an hour,

should I be paying her

for that whole hour?

Your problem sounds

like a real conundrum.

Right?

You should do what I tell

my patients to do,

which is, keep at it.

You'll find a solution.

- Okay, keep at it.

- Yeah. (Chuckles)

I'm sorry I didn't call.

It was cowardly.

Yes, it was.

I realized that after

the fact. (Clears throat)

Are you sorry?

Yeah. Yes, I'm sorry.

How you doin' with uh,

all this?

Good.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay. Good.

What are you still doing here?

Thought I'd clear my pores.

Plus, there is no cancellation

policy on the room, so.

Well, enjoy.

Okay.

(Sighs)

Can I have a hit?

(Sighs)

(Deep inhales)

Sorry about last night.

Perhaps my timing

wasn't impeccable.

Ha.

When were you with her?

They were broken up.

Don't worry.

You had moved out with Misha,

'twas just me, Barb,

and Q, the bike courier.

How is he, by the way?

Last time I saw him

he had two broken wrists.

- Part of the job.

- Hmm.

Your mother is a very

passionate woman.

Oh no. Just stop talking,

please.

- We stayed in bed for days.

- No, please, stop it.

We were really there

for each other.

(Sighs)

Oh, f***.

You know there's other people

here, right?

(Sighs)

So, where you living now?

Uh, I'm on a farm.

45 minutes north of Toronto,

but we're looking to move

to Georgian Bay.

- Wow. So the middle of nowhere.

- Hmm, exactly.

I'm um, I'm a farmer.

I make jam, I read,

I have 5 different varieties

of chard

- and I uh, have mulch.

- Mulch?

I don't know what that is.

Can you translate?

Oh, it's uh, paillis,

I think it is.

Still don't know

what that is.

Actually I've never heard

that word in either language.

Yeah, well, it's a little bit

different

than the last time you saw me.

But just as fascinating.

- Are you still writing?

- No.

Why? You were good.

I loved reading your stuff.

Thanks.

I miss you and the boys.

I miss living vicariously

through your exciting lives.

- (Chuckles nervously)

- What?

It's just been a while

since I thought of my life

as exciting. (Chuckles)

(Carrie sighs)

It's good to see you.

(Frederic discuses

a short story)

All right, who's next?

Whose f***ing story

are we gonna do now?

(Phone buzzes)

And grammar, guys, not a rule.

Discipline,

that's the only rule.

Look, don't judge

that character, Ester,

that's something that you do.

Inhabit her.

If you're characters are

judging themselves that's fine,

but you judging your characters

I mean, that's murder,

that's crime on your page.

(Phone continues to buzz)

- Whaddya want?

Barbara:
Divorce...

Wait, wait, wait.

- Barbara:
There's more...

- Slow down.

This, this is what she does

when she goes on these

fashion shoots.

Fucks the talent.

And I'm... I'm googling one

right now, okay.

She's... she looks what, half...

Korean, half Irish,

half... b*tch? She's... she's...

she's Caligula, you know.

And then-and then, she keeps,

she keeps writing to them,

I mean, come on, that's...

that's the worst part.

(Train chugs)

Barbara:
My friend Cibby

is coming over around 9

for pisco sours.

You know Cibby?

- Only for 20 years.

- Billing, please.

Billing. Yeah, I need you

to help me print out

- my train ticket to Detroit.

- Why are you going to Detroit?

To see my friend Fran.

But the printer's broken,

and the computer guy is

in Kingston for the week.

I mean, who the hell goes

to Kingston for a week?

What the hell do you do,

in Kingston for a week?!

I said, billing!

You don't have to print your

train tickets anymore.

Oh, it's Sook. Sook? Hi.

Uh, fine, well,

as fine as anyone can be,

whose been living a lie

for the last 25 years.

Yes, and you? You what?

That, that's lovely.

Uh, I have to call you back,

Sook, I'm...

I'm on the other line.

Hello? Operator.

Operator. You get me

the f***ing operator,

or I am gonna come right down

there and slap you across...

oh, hello.

Frederic:
You're one of 6

students in the Master's program.

I know, I just, I really feel

like I need to be here

- for my mother right now.

- I get that. Uh... huh...

Look class participation and

workshops are mandatory though.

I'm sorry, but you're probably

gonna have to withdraw.

(Banging)

Barbara:
Printer's still not

working!

(Water splashes)

(Sighs)

(Grunting with effort)

(Grunting with effort)

EEE! YA!

(Phone buzzes)

(Quietly) Hello?

- Tamara? This is Albert.

- Who?

- Barbara's date.

- Oh, Alan.

- No, Albert.

- I don't think we've met.

- We did meet. We did.

- That's news to me.

Ah, well, there is a problem

in the ceremony room,

and I think it requires

your immediate attention.

Oh my God! Okay!

- What the hell happened here?

- What the hell happened?

- Did you set this up?

- Not me.

Let's go for a walk.

I'm not cleanin' this sh*t up.

(Sighs)

(Exhales)

So, you still drink

wine in the tub?

Every night.

It's the only thing that

could get you to bathe.

True.

(Laughing)

(Knock on door)

- Oh sh*t.

- I heard you.

(Sighs) Sh*t!

(Sighs)

I've decided to leave.

I think it's better

for everyone.

Oh, uh, well...

I hope they get the shrapnel

out of your brain.

Why do you act like

it didn't mean anything?

It did. Then.

F***.

Albert:
Wow. Oh...

Lovely composition.

Lovely composition, indeed!

Oh my God!

Hey, can you hold that?

Albert:
Oh! Now that's magic!

- Berlin is a beautiful city.

- Yes.

- World class.

- Yeah, it is.

(Sighs)

It is hard for you to do

your psychology stuff,

when Matty's writing music?

- Uh, well he has headphones.

- Huh.

More importantly,

I-I have an office.

Oh, that's neat.

You know, Tammy, I'd really

like to be friends with you.

- Hmm.

- I really, really admire you.

- You do.

- Yeah. Your career.

Your photography.

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