April Fools Page #4

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Forget it, you don't

sound sincere at all.

But I'm sincere.

Look my eyes movements.

Psychology says, a lie

This is bullsht.

- It's true.

Sounds like BS to me.

- Absolute BS.

He himself can't even

sort truth from lies anymore.

Make no mistakes

he's a pathologic bullshter.

How many hundred times have

you come to my restaurant?

Every time with

a different woman.

That he likes women,

is an understatement

he's a perv, addict to sex.

You see, Miss.

You've not been rejected.

Your intuition told you

right away, he was lying.

But you slept with him.

Didn't you initiate it?

Weren't you two consenting adults

playing a game.

He's right.

You're no better.

It's not the place

to eat potato chips.

It's you.

You gave them to me.

[Socially challenged people]

Such a common condition nowadays.

You don't have

to be ashamed of it.

Would you like a private

forget about it.

It's not a condition

but a personality trait.

My research reveals that potato chips

contain ethylglutamine acids

that calm anxiety.

And generate alpha waves

in the brain.

It facilitates socializing.

From a situation

of total isolation

at the workplace

to occasional contacts.

While eating my bento

at lunch break

I started to chitchat.

I thought:
"My, is this working?"

I thought he could be

an excellent doctor.

And after that

I was watching him.

My colleagues at work

would tell me:
"You like him?"

"Obviously he likes you too".

"He's a good person".

Try your luck with him.

And then

then

well, I

and so

I believed him.

I trusted him.

Even when he sneaked out at night.

Or when I couldn't reach him.

His baby was growing inside me.

I was eating these every day.

I trusted him.

Because he saved me.

This morning

on TV

while I was thinking about him

I saw two lovers miraculously reunited.

I mustered the courage to call him.

I heard his voice

and I thought, it could

really come true.

We could become a family.

And then

and then

Byon!

Look sir, he's up there.

Nozawa.

Wait.

Nozawa.

Byon!

We're good here.

From the start,

my wife was a big fan.

Our chorus performed live.

I'm sorry about

today's inconveniences.

Don't mention it,

you helped so much.

You made it all so enjoyable.

Your kind words are

a delight to my ears.

If you may forgive

a daring request?

Pray speak.

If it's no trouble

could we take a photo?

Surely.

My goodness.

Please, could you take our photo.

Shucks, the power cut off.

Please, give me a minute.

I'll show it to my kids.

How many kids do you have?

A 12 yo girl and a 4 yo boy.

My elder daughter is a bit difficult.

But she'll be proud of me.

He's your ex-husband?

I had my daughter with him.

We split when she was 2,

I remarried.

So the person who took her

is her biologic father?

Yes, and a real jerk at that!

Does it mean you're

not pressing charges?

Of course not, he's just a jerk.

He's up to his usual tricks.

A real jerk.

Boss?

May I speak frankly?

What?

You're really her dad?

She would be glad to know.

Maybe you won't have another chance.

Don't be weird.

If she's your daughter

why will you kill her?

Why does she have to die?

She's not gonna die.

Then she'll have us arrested.

We're compromised, we can't trust her.

Shut your mouth.

Idiot, don't you have any sense.

Who is compromised?

I'm the only one concerned, here.

I took all the heat on myself.

Alright, grandma.

Don't do it again.

How about you?

You don't have to do that job.

You're tormenting your soul.

That murderer that

you failed to catch

an inspector experiences

mostly failure.

The search warrant

that you carry everywhere

hoping to find

that murder by chance.

That water is not

good for your health.

What kind of man are you really?

Cut the lies, tell her who you are.

I don't know.

What kind of truth do I tell you.

My parents were both doctors.

The career welcomed me open armed.

But

I wasn't bright enough.

My parents paid and paid, so

I took a back door

into the medical school.

But even there it didn't happen.

But.

But then I started

to lie about being a doctor.

And I saw people believe it.

That lie made me

feel good about myself.

My whole life became a lie.

I read medical books every day.

I found the knowledge I needed

to pick up girls.

I look at myself

I see a compulsive liar

and a sex addict.

I see no way out of it.

What I'm telling you here

could even be another lie.

Myself, I'm confused.

What I told you

it was all lies.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Please wait.

We're all liars.

"Man is the lying animal."

He's right.

We have to lie sometimes.

Life is manageable

because of our lies.

A lie can save someone.

It's life, it comes

with the territory.

For him too:

"Hath not a liar

a heart that bleeds?"

You feel better?

With the remaining bullet.

If you kill him

you can't kill yourself.

So let's call it a day.

I don't let anyone die

in my dining room.

I'm calling 911.

We're delivering you to the police.

She'd get away too easily.

That wackjob girl has to die.

No way.

Byon.

Yurahito, your teachers

and your mother are worried.

It's all my fault.

Tell me what more can I do.

Come down, don't you run

after you won.

You owe me a rematch.

Now that you stole that kiss

we have to follow up with a date.

Come down, please.

I'm sorry.

You know.

I can't think, please calm down.

You wanted to play

the trombone, right?

I'm sorry I forced

the cymbal on you.

This is not the point.

"So long and thanks

for all the fish."

Byon.

He doesn't seem to want to die.

Wake up.

You can't die

in my dining room.

Keep quiet.

Don't move.

What?

Uh?

I haven't been shot.

What?

This is our chef's unique sauce.

A misfire.

Tokarev was 7 rounds?

Absolutely not,

we heard the bang.

What the?

Who left that here.

I'm gonna be late.

Prof Miki is gonna be

mad at me again.

Ide.

Well, all's well that ends well.

You're okay.

You haven't been shot, stand up.

You're a big liar too.

You had us all tricked.

That belly was stuffed

with a towel.

Really.

That's what it was.

Today is April 1st,

let's strip it off.

What?

Even though.

I just broke my waters.

Ambulaaaaaaaaaaance.

What takes them so long.

Indeed.

He hasn't called yet?

Sorry, it's the first time.

We can't wait, let's start.

But we're a quartet, 2 won't do.

Just give us a duet.

I apologize for all the commotion.

It's me.

What's that about?

You promised you'd never see her.

I hope you've been kind to her.

Uh.

Just bring her back already.

We're coming.

Just tell me one thing.

What?

She does take after me.

Poor scores, difficult child,

she's my blood.

I'm to blame.

You did everything you could.

I look at her face.

Sure she reminds me

so much of the brat I was.

But there's nothing wrong with her.

If she misbehaves just scold her.

Just spank her.

Then

give her a hug.

I'm done.

Your parents are so poor,

they won't pay a cent for you.

You're so ill-mannered

I can't even sell you.

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