Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies Page #4

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Hey, we need to get out of here before

more of these dead bastards come at us.

Well, they came

from the festival.

We should get out of town.

[both chuckling]

Can you move, man?

He didn't bite my legs.

I can stand.

Yeah, but can you run?

Hey, guys, I think

I found the jackpot.

[chuckles]

Now we're talkin'. Let's go!

- [growling]

- [screaming]

What in devil's hell is going on

in my damn town?

This ain't the Charleston

I know.

What are all the people of my fine

town doing to each other, Ellie?

[Ellie] It appears to be

cannibalism, sir.

Sh*t fire and save matches!

I knew this would happen

during a damn election year!

Why me, Lord?! Why me?!

We've got to get you

out of here!

[growling]

[growling loudly]

- Hurry! Get in, get in!

- Go, go, go! Go!

- [gunshot]

- [zombie screams]

[engine starting]

- Wait!

- [zombie screams]

[groans]

- [growls]

- [gunshot]

- [growling]

- Aah!

Let the power of rock and roll

take over!

[growling]

[guitar twangs, reverberates]

Aw, sh*t,

it's the grocery boy.

Let's go.

Oh, no! No!

Leave me alone!

No! No!

- [screams]

- [growls]

[growling]

Grab the table.

Goddamn zombies!

We gotta do something

about this.

- Can you hold this?

- Yeah, I got it.

All right.

[growling]

[Ed] Pass me that lighter.

Okay, come on, Ed.

It's fourth and goal

against Memphis Central.

You got this, baby,

come on!

Take this!

Put that table down

so I can throw this out!

[growling]

Let's get out of here.

- [screaming]

- [growling]

Oh, hell no!

[growling, cackling]

[growling]

[cackling]

[horn toots]

What the hell

got to this clown?

I knew that, I guess I'd keep it

a goddamn secret from you, Ed!

You make me sorry I saved

your stupid ass.

[screaming]

[growls]

Here's what we gotta do.

We gotta make it to Neil's

up the street.

If I know that old

preppin' bastard,

he's happier than a dog's

balls about this whole thing.

Probably sitting in the basement

surrounded by maximum firepower.

And jacking his AK, sir.

Good call.

Hey! Chester! Jimmy!

[whistles]

Over here!

Real good to see you fellas.

Follow me, stay close. We're

off to Neil's army. Come on.

Lonnie, take the lead.

I'll be right back.

Meet me over there.

All right.

[retches]

[grunts]

[screaming]

[Trent yelling]

Kayla!

[screaming]

- [Kayla screams]

- [Trent] Kayla!

- Hey, this way! Let's go!

- [Kayla screaming]

- [screaming]

- [growling]

Kayla!

Run Kayla!

[Robbie]

You zombie bastard!

Are you all right? Bite?

No, I'm okay.

But what about Trent?

Ed! Ed!

Help me with this guy!

Come on.

There's nowhere to go, Lonnie!

Everyone, the alley! Now!

[growls]

[distant growls]

This is about

a shitty situation we're in!

[engine idling]

[Ben] Oh, God.

See that?

[Nancy] The damage can't be too bad.

The engine's running.

Running down the gas.

- [Nancy] Sh*t, Ben.

- [Ben] All I'm saying is,

we may have a short trip to

wherever the hell we're going.

Worth checking out.

At least we know

the key's in it.

Lonnie, where are we going?

We gotta get Trent

to a hospital.

Whatever happened to Asher

is happening to him.

You're the botanist, babe,

what do you think?

I don't know. I mean,

this isn't exactly textbook.

I have an idea. It means heading

to the Muni, though.

The airport?

Why not the hospital, man?

'Cause whatever it is,

the answer might be out there.

I know a person that might

be able to help Trent.

Does it have anything to do with the

stuff you were spraying this morning?

What is he talking about,

Lonnie?

It could be tied up with the

chemical they're testing out there.

I want Trent to live.

Please help us, Lonnie.

[growling]

We'll split into two groups.

Leave Trent here

with Kayla.

One group will distract

and then the other will...

[shouts]

[loud rumbling]

Is this the change

you were looking for, Lon?

You damn fool!

I said no RPGs, Salvador!

We're saving the town,

not destroying it!

Tell you what.

I'll do it.

I'll distract 'em.

I'm gonna need this, though.

- Hey! Come on! I'm over here!

- [rapid gunfire]

- [horn honking]

- [rapid gunfire]

[woman screams, cries]

Keep aiming for the heads!

The heads!

[grunts]

[grunts]

Hey, wait up!

[growling]

Thank you, Ellie.

Don't mention it.

- [screams]

- No!

[Ellie screaming]

[screams]

[growling]

[shouting]

[mayor]

Oh, Ellie. I'm so sorry.

Damn shame, Sam.

She was a truly fine aide.

A young lady

of strong character.

And, boy,

could she handle a pistol.

I swear, I'm gonna kick

the undead sh*t

out of everyone of these

damn sons of b*tches!

Mr. Mayor.

What can I do for you, son?

I need a few of your men

for cover.

My people are back there, beyond

the alley, and they need help now.

All right, then.

Neil! Take a few of our folks

and line up

at the end of that street

so this kid's people

can regroup here.

[growls]

All right, on the double,

everybody!

Cal.

Go ahead.

We need cover fire on

the west side of the square.

Roger that.

[Cal, over radio]

Good to go on your mark.

- [gunfire]

- [growling]

[gunshot]

[growling]

[Ed] Move the van!

[gunfire]

It's not moving.

I should've never given

that damn GlobalBio bullshit

permission to run

them damn tests!

[crying]

Ellie died 'cause of me!

The whole town!

I don't know if I can

deal with this!

Oh, mercy, Lord, mercy!

The money they offered me

made me happier

than Richard Simmons

watching "Brokeback Mountain!"

And I am ashamed, Lord!

I am shamed!

Lord, I am shamed and I repent!

What's done is done, okay?

There's still time

to do something,

but we gotta get

to the hangar.

Fukushima and Klein

might have the answers we need.

At least we've gotta try

for Trent and others over there.

Maybe this town can

come together and really...

Be saved!

Be saved, yes! Yes!

Enough, Lonnie,

go on, get going.

Look, go see Neil over there.

Take my gun and get

some more weapons and ammo.

Thank you, sir.

I just wish a few

of your folks might stay.

We could use all the living people we

can find to help us out over here.

We'll need all the help

we can get, too.

All right, go on,

go see Neil.

Good luck, ladies.

And to you, Mr. Mayor.

Got all the luck I need, lady.

It's in my very name.

Hey, just remember to vote

for your friend

Sam Luckwood when this thing

all blows over, okay?

We're ready to go,

but we ain't got much gas.

Muni's less than

four miles out.

We'll be riding on fumes

if we get there at all.

All right, then, let's go.

All right, listen up!

Okay, men, we have work to do,

and we do not have

cell phone use.

Neil, Jimmy, take a group

down that street, right now.

Come on, let's go.

Salvador, take a group

down that way.

Cordell, Uri,

go find Perr

and make a sweep of

that whole street.

Let's go!

[yelling]

[growling]

[engine sputters]

Damn, we're outta gas!

[distant growling]

You know, before I retired

as an RN,

I saw a lot of infection.

Sepsis.

I can't believe

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