Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery Page #16

AUSTIN:

Behave!

MUSIC:
"The Look of Love" by SERGIO MENDEZ AND BRAZIL 66

Alotta goes behind a Japanese screen. In silhouette she takes

off her clothes and puts on a robe. She opens a pair of

sliding doors to reveal an elaborate Japanese bath grotto.

INT. JAPANESE BATH

She slips off her robe, revealing a DR. EVIL LOGO TATTOO on

her shoulder, and enters the water.

ALOTTA:

Come in.

AUSTIN:

I'd rather talk about Number Two.

ALOTTA:

Don't you like girls, Mr. Cunningham?

Come in, and I'll show you everything

you need to know.

Austin takes off his clothes. He is extremely hairy. He goes

in. Alotta produces a soapy sponge and swims over.

ALOTTA:

May I wash you?

AUSTIN:

Groovy.

She washes his back. Behind his back, she pulls out his wallet

and looks through it.

ANGLE ON HIS IDENTIFICATION. It reads "AUSTIN POWERS,

INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY."

ANGLE ON HIS VARIOUS CARDS: CHARGEX, PLAYBOY CLUB, ETC.

She puts his wallet back in his trousers.

ALOTTA:

In Japan, men come first and women

come second.

AUSTIN:

Or sometimes not at all.

ALOTTA:

Care for some saki?

AUSTIN:

Sak-i it to me!

Alotta pours them saki. Alotta unscrews the diamond in her

ring.

A sign on the inside of her ring reads "Relaxation Pills."

She drops two PILLS into his drink.

Austin takes a sip. His eyes glaze over. He's instantly woozy.

ALOTTA:

How do you feel, Mr. Cunningham?

AUSTIN:

Mmmm... I feel extreme relaxation.

A big BUBBLE comes to the surface, right in front of Austin.

AUSTIN:

(reciting poem)

'Pardon me for being rude, It was

not me, it was my food. It just

popped up to say hello, and now it's

gone back down below.'

ALOTTA:

That's very clever. Do you know any

other poems?

AUSTIN:

(reciting in a lofty

tone)

'Milk, milk, lemonade. Round the

corner fudge is made. Stick your

finger in the hole, And out comes a

tootsie roll!'

ALOTTA:

(genuinely moved)

Thank you, that's beautiful. To your

health.

AUSTIN:

To my health.

ALOTTA:

Kiss me.

They go to kiss. She notices HIS TERRIBLE TEETH, CLOSE-UP.

ALOTTA:

Do you mind if I ask you a personal

question?

AUSTIN:

Is it about my teeth?

ALOTTA:

Yes.

AUSTIN:

Damn. What exactly do you do at

Virtucon?

ALOTTA:

I'll tell you all in due time, after

we make love. But first, tell me

another poem.

AUSTIN:

I think it was Wordsworth who penned

this little gem:
'Press the button,

pull the chain, out comes a chocolate

choo-choo train.'

ALOTTA:

Oh, you're very clever. Let's make

love, you silly, hairy little man.

She glides over to him.

INT. PSYCHEDELIC SCENE BREAK

MUSIC:
Psychedelic Wa-wa Pedal Funky Drummer Beat GRAPHIC:

The Party Austin and the go-go girl dance crazily.

INT. DR. EVIL'S PRIVATE QUARTERS - DAY

Dr. Evil, Number Two, and Frau Farbissina sit at the large

conference table.

DR. EVIL

Austin Powers is getting too close.

He must be neutralized. Any

suggestions?

FRAU FARBISSINA:

Ya wohl-- I mean, yes wohl, Herr

Doctor. I have created the ultimate

weapon to defeat Austin Powers. Bring

on the Fembots!

MUSIC:
Sexy Matt Helm-type theme THREE FEMBOTS enter. They

are beautiful buxom multiracial girl/robots in Sixties clothes

and white go-go boots.

DR. EVIL

Breathtaking, Frau. These automated

strumpets are the perfect bait for

the degenerate Powers.

FRAU FARBISSINA:

These are the latest word in android

replicant technology. Lethal,

efficient, brutal. And no man can

resist their charms. Send in the

soldiers!

SEVEN SOLDIERS come in. They are immediately attracted to

the FEMBOTS. They throw down their guns and come to the girls

zombie-like.

When they get within range, guns POP out of the Fembots'

bras and begin FIRING, killing the guards.

DR. EVIL

Quite impressive.

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