Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery Page #8

The sequence lasts five seconds and is very groovy.

EXT. LAS VEGAS MONTAGE - NIGHT

Sights and sounds of Las Vegas icons at night: "Welcome to

Las Vegas" sign. Luxor. The giant cowboy whose arm waves.

Caesar's Palace. The montage ends on the modern skyline of

Las Vegas.

GRAPHIC:
1997, SOMEWHERE IN NEVADA

INT. DR. EVIL'S PRIVATE QUARTERS

DR. EVIL

(face again unseen)

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's been a

long time, but I'm back. It's all

gone perfectly to plan except for

one small flaw. Because of a technical

error, my right arm was not frozen.

I was therefore by definition only

partially frozen.

ANGLE ON EVIL ASSOCIATE MUSTAFA. HE IS TERRIFIED AND SWEATY,

EYES DARTING LEFT AND RIGHT.

MUSTAFA:

But my design was perfect! Your

autonomic functions were shut down,

and even though your arm wasn't

frozen, the aging was retarded,

therefore your right arm is only

slightly older than the left.

DR. EVIL

Can't you see I'm only half a man?

Look at me, I'm a freak!

He holds up his older right arm, which looks normal.

MUSTAFA:

But Dr. Evil, all you need to do is--

(holding up tennis

ball)

--work with this tennis ball. Squeeze

it for twenty minutes a day. A few

months of that and it'll be just as

strong as the other arm...

DR. EVIL

And look what you've done to Mr.

Bigglesworth!

ANGLE ON MR. BIGGLESWORTH

who is now totally hairless, with a fringe of white hair

around it's ears, like Dr. Evil himself.

MUSTAFA:

We could not anticipate feline

complications due to the reanimation

process&emdash;

DR. EVIL

(face unseen)

Silence!

ANGLE ON A HAND WITH DR. EVIL'S RING ON IT

Dr. Evil presses a button. Mustafa's chair tips back and he

falls backwards into a pit.

MUSTAFA:

(blood-curdling scream)

Ahhhhhhhhh!

DR. EVIL

(face unseen)

Let this be a reminder to you all

that this organization will not

tolerate failure.

Mustafa's SCREAMS ECHO FAINTLY

ANGLE ON:
DR. EVIL FOR THE FIRST TIME. HE IS IN HIS EARLY

FIFTIES AND IS BALD, WITH A HIDEOUS SCAR ON HIS CHEEK.

DR. EVIL

Gentlemen, let's get down to business.

More muffled SCREAMS.

DR. EVIL

We've got a lot of work to do.

MUSTAFA (O.S.)

(muffled)

Someone help me! I'm still alive,

only I'm very badly burned.

DR. EVIL

(slightly distracted)

Some of you I know, some of you I'm

meeting for the first time.

MUSTAFA (O.S.)

(muffled)

Hello up there! Anyone! Can someone

call an ambulance? I'm in quite a

lot of pain.

DR. EVIL

(very frustrated)

You've all been gathered here to

form my Evil Cabinet. Excuse me.

He picks up a white phone and MURMURS into it.

MUSTAFA (O.S.)

(muffled)

If somebody can open the retrieval

hatch down here, I could get out.

See, I designed this device myself

and...oh, hi! Good, I'm glad you

found me. Listen, I'm very badly

burned, so if you could just--

SFX:
Muffled Gunshot

MUSTAFA (O.S.)

(muffled)

Ow! You shot me!

DR. EVIL

Right. Okay. Moving on.

MUSTAFA (O.S.)

(muffled)

You shot me right in the arm! Why

did--

SFX:
Muffled Gunshot. Dr. Evil waits. Nothing.

DR. EVIL

Let me go around the table and

introduce everyone. Frau Farbissina...

ANGLE ON FRAU FARBISSINA

DR. EVIL

...founder of the militant wing of

the Salvation Army. Random Task...

RANDOM TASK is a large Korean man in a butler's uniform.

DR. EVIL

...a Korean ex-wrestler, evil handyman

extraordinaire. Show them what you

do.

He stands up, bows, then takes off his shoe and THROWS it.

It knocks the head off a sculpture across the room.

DR. EVIL

Thank you, Random Task. Patty

O'Brien...

PATTY O'BRIEN, a small, wiry Irishman with fiery eyes.

DR. EVIL

...ex-Irish assassin. His trademark?

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