Away We Go Page #5

Maybe it was my mom.

Is your tilted uterus a secret?

Yeah, my tilted uterus

is a f***ing secret.

Oh, really, you f***ing b*tch!

Your f***ing uterus is

a motherfucking secret?

Well, f*** you!

You know, it was really nice of you

to think of getting them a stroller.

Yeah. I had no idea how

expensive it would be.

I told you.

No, like, really expensive.

I know.

Well, let me just hide this.

There we go.

You ready?

Yeah.

You think we got them a good one?

Hi.

Hi.

You, too.

Oh, fabulous. Great.

If you don't mind, there are

slippers just there.

Just any of these?

I like those.

Go get the stroller.

Okay.

We brought you something.

Oh, my God. How...

Oh, my God.

Okay, all right, I'm sorry.

Why don't we just

put it on the porch?

Okay.

They had it in blue. But...

Just a little further away.

Okay.

All right, come on.

Okay.

Let's go upstairs

and meet Roderick.

Okay.

Hello.

Honey.

Hi.

Hey.

I don't think we've met.

Oh, yes, we have.

Burning Man, '97.

This is a big bed.

We are a Continuum home.

What is that?

Continuum?

Continuum?

Yes.

Continuum.

Yes.

The Continuum movement

recognizes that

the world will give your baby plenty of

alienation and despair in good time,

so while we can, we should

hold them close.

So, it's the 3 "S's," no separation,

no sugar, no strollers.

They gave us a stroller.

What is wrong with strollers?

Burts, I love my babies.

Why would I want to push them

away from me?

And you wonder why this country

is so dysfunctional.

Because of strollers?

Mama,

in this house

we carry our babies.

We hold them close.

What about sleeping?

This is where they sleep.

We practice family bed.

So what if the two

of you want to,

you know? Be alone?

Do you go out to the car?

No, Verona.

We don't go out to the car.

Are you planning on hiding

your lovemaking from your kids?

Are you guys making love?

It can be so great in the 6th month.

And it is so important to expose

your kids to sexuality,

especially in utero.

Do you know what

it does to a child

to have their parents' expression

of love kept a secret?

No.

Oh! Well,

that's why I have an Electra complex.

Oh, babe.

It is okay.

Which one's that, again?

I think that is when a woman

wants to do her father.

Do you mean "Oedipal complex"?

Don't... Don't try

and diagnose me, Verona.

Why the seahorses, Rod?

In the seahorse community,

the males give birth.

The female inserts her ovipositor

into the male's brood pouch.

That's where she

deposits her eggs.

If I could,

I would lay my eggs

in your brood pouch.

I know you would.

Don't...

Don't, don't, don't.

So, have you chosen a doula?

I already had one.

A little weird, but good.

A doula, Burtie, not a dolma.

We are not using a doula.

Really?

Who is your midwife?

Oh, no, no. Midwives and doulas are

for when the husband is clueless

or doesn't want to be involved.

And I'm neither of those things.

I'm really looking

forward to being involved.

That's great, Burtie. I totally understand,

and I think that's great,

but don't you think Verona

might want someone there

who really understands

the female experience?

Oh! There's this great

Simone de Beauvoir quote.

I can't remember the book,

but I'll find it for you.

It's something like, "One is not born,

but becomes, a woman."

What does that have to do with...

But it is worth it.

The pain is so enlightening.

And now, having experienced childbirth,

I watch CNN and I really

feel like I understand war.

On top of which, when I had Wolfie,

I had the most enormous orgasm.

It was so beautiful.

This soup is delicious.

Alice Walker said, "There's nothing more

important than how we enter this world."

And I agree with her.

And my mom had a hospital birth.

The stirrups, the machines,

the drugs.

And she wonders why I can't walk into

a dry cleaner's without vomiting.

Okay, can that maybe be the last bit

of parental advice we get tonight?

Just a... Just a thought.

Honey? Are you counting on this job

interview tomorrow?

Where is it?

Mutual Choice.

No, not really.

Because I'm already doing fine.

This would just be

a better commission rate.

Commission rate.

What is it again, exactly,

that you do, Rod?

What do you mean?

How do I "make my living"?

Yes. That's exactly

what I mean.

Don't worry, Wolf. You won't ever

have to do anything like that.

Like... "Anything like that"?

Roderick...

Like fearmongering.

Fearmongering?

Or skimming.

Roderick, honey?

Cajoling? Billing?

Roderick...

Are you being serious?

Roderick, Roderick.

It's so easy to forget how great

the economic divide is these days.

These guys have nothing.

How should we expect them to

know anything about anything?

And Verona lost her parents.

Honey, how old were you

when they died?

Oh, you poor thing.

I was just wondering how much your

mama was able to pass on to you

about motherhood before she died.

Your people have such a wonderful

oral tradition.

Okay, that's it!

That's it!

You are a terrible person.

Did you know that?

You are terrible people.

And Verona? She is twice

the woman that you'll ever be!

Because this whole thing... I just...

I never... I'm sorry because...

And this guy!

Look at him!

Oh, honey.

Burt.

We are leaving.

And I hate these slippers!

What is going on?

You know what? If I have to explain it

to you Looney Tunes, just forget it.

All right.

Just fly away, Burtie.

Fly away. And take that

shitty stroller with you.

Gladly! You f***ing lunatic!

Actually, I forgot something!

Burt, honey.

Honey, what are you doing?

Hey, Wolfie.

Want to get in the stroller?

Wolfie, you... No...

Just take a little ride.

Wolfie, don't listen to him.

It's okay.

It will be really fun,

like a tiny sports car.

Do not get out of that chair.

Honey, you do

exactly as you like.

Sweetheart. Sweetheart!

Listen to your heart!

Listen to your heart...

There we go!

Not in this house! No!

I'm gonna go in the stroller!

No! I will not let

you do that in my house!

That's good!

And there he goes!

Burt, Burt...

I reject your aggression.

I reject your

unbelievable bullshit!

No! Wolfie!

Yes!

Wolfie, did you have fun?

Because you won't have that much fun

until you discover oral pleasure!

This was great!

What a horse's ass.

That was cool.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Hi.

Hey.

So, how did it go?

Good.

Yeah?

Really good.

So, did they offer you the job?

Yeah.

Yeah?

They probably will.

I just need some time to

think about it a little bit.

So, they're probably

going to offer you the job?

They are ready to. They just need

a couple of days for arrangements

and formalities.

So, they didn't offer you the job?

No.

I'm really sorry I brought

you here, Verona.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Burt.

It is not your fault.

So, this place isn't for us.

So, now we know.

I think Montreal is going

to be way better. It will.

You know what I hear

they have in Montreal?

You know what they put

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