Away We Go Page #6

on their French fries there?

Mayonnaise?

Nope. Better.

Gravy.

You know, I had a dream about

Montreal last week?

Really?

Yeah.

What was it about?

Well, it was a bunch of things.

Was I topless in it?

Yes.

Sorry.

We did it. Sorry.

We're just having a baby.

It's okay.

Holy sh*t!

Is this their house?

We went to college with these guys.

How can they be so grown up?

While we are so...

Stunted?

Confused? Immature?

American?

Do it again.

That's awesome.

Hey, Camille. Cammie.

Remember us?

Should we come in?

Okay.

They are in their room.

Mom's going to wear a little skirt.

Okay.

The sun has gone to bed

And so must I

So long, farewell

Auf wiedersehen, goodbye

Goodbye

There she is.

Verona, you look amazing.

Thanks.

Perfect. Perfect.

Hey.

Good to see you.

It's great to see you.

Here, watch this.

Goodbye

All right. Yeah.

Hey, great job.

Hey, everybody.

This is Verona and Burt.

Your mom and I went

to school with them.

Say hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Get yourselves some pizza.

Pizza.

Pizza. What's up, James?

You're in the middle.

Hey, so, the movie ends when

the von Trapps go to sleep?

Yeah, we sort of skipped it.

You skipped the Nazis?

We kind of figured,

"What's the point?"

It is just that we think they could

live a few more happy years

before, you know,

Juicy Couture and Hitler.

Excuse me. Do you know

the way to San Jose?

Where did you get that?

She has never done this before.

You are seeing this

for the first time.

Who's underneath?

Who's underneath?

Come here.

Tie him up.

Verona! Verona! Help!

Isn't that cute?

Mama! Mama!

Now what's...

Hi!

Hi, Munch.

Oh, Verona. Look at you!

You look so good!

Thanks.

I can't believe you are 6 months in.

I know.

You look amazing.

Where's Burt?

You do, too.

I think he's been

taken hostage over here.

Oh, hi.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I have all this gear at home.

I do this to relax.

This is the family I want.

Every part of it. All those kids.

All those ages. Everyone draped over

each other, just taking care of each other.

So, you want to adopt?

Yeah.

All right. So we will just trade this one in

and we will get whatever we want.

No, I want her and them, too.

This is a family.

Yeah, it works.

It's real.

We should move here.

Montreal.

Think of that.

Do you still

find time to go out?

We're out a lot, I guess.

I mean, it depends.

You have to find the balance

because the kids want you there,

but not all the time.

They need air

as much as you do.

Should we tell them?

I think we're moving here.

To Montreal?

Yeah.

We already won the competition.

Over Madison. Over Phoenix.

Hell, yeah!

You guys!

That is wonderful!

Let us toast.

Does anyone know a toast?

Okay. So, yay for Burt

and Verona moving here,

probably, if they are not stupid.

Yay!

Yay!

I love this...

Trombone, man.

I love the trombone.

I was just about to say that!

It is amazing, right?

The 'bone!

We don't know, actually.

We weren't 100% trying.

I mean, we wanted

to have a baby.

It just sort of came

ahead of schedule.

Have you had any

problems so far?

No. No. Not so far.

It's been great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's wonderful. That's...

Ladies, I have an announcement.

We need real food.

She said, "Mrs. Farlander,

your husband requests..."

What do you mean,

"Mrs. Farlander"?

You're still not married?

No.

We talked about this.

We talked about this.

No. Why don't you propose?

When are you going to propose?

Propose?

All I do is propose.

Are you kidding?

Watch this. Watch. Watch this.

Verona.

Yeah?

You really are

the love of my life.

Thanks, honey.

Will you marry me?

No.

Wow.

What?

That actually stings.

Is this true?

It's you who's behind this.

I can't see the point.

That's romantic.

Well, there isn't any,

really. I mean...

Well, not unless you have parents

who care one way or the other.

Which you don't.

But your wedding

was so good.

Really good.

Yeah, it was.

It was really good. The wedding

was good. Marriage is great.

But what you need to be happy,

and sane, is this.

What is that?

This?

Okay, watch this.

Here is you 2 guys.

Really?

No...

Okay, here is you 2 guys.

Stop.

Okay, so you kiss, you do other things

and then you make a baby.

The baby comes in there

and he nestles in.

And you guys hug and get real tight.

And then we do this.

And this. There...

And this...

Are those the bedposts?

It's your house.

Now what is this?

Is that a home? Is that a family?

Yeah.

No. No, of course not.

That's just the raw material.

The people, the walls, the furniture.

Okay, so that's the basics.

But that's not a home.

That's not a family.

What binds it all together is this.

Awesome. That's awesome.

This is love.

I knew it.

Yes, here we go.

This is your love, guys.

Here it comes. The patience, your

consideration, your better selves.

Man, you just have no idea

how good you can be.

But you have to use all of it.

All of it.

It's not like simple masonry,

where you use a little layer of mortar

between each row of bricks.

No. With this,

you have to use tons of it.

For every brick, there's

a half-ton of mortar.

I thought we were doing syrup.

Mortar, syrup. Syrup, mortar.

It is all the same. It's the glue.

It's all those good

things you have in you.

The love,

the wisdom, the generosity.

The selflessness.

The patience. Patience.

At 3:
00 a.m., when everyone's

awake because Ibrahim is sick

and he can't find the bathroom and

he just puked in Katya's bed.

Patience when you blink...

It was awful.

When you blink and it's 5:30

and it is time to get up again,

and you know you're going to be tired

all day, all week, all your f***ing life.

And you are thinking,

"What happened to Greece?

"What happened to swimming naked

off the coast of Greece?"

And you have to be willing to make

the family out of whatever you have.

You have to be so much

better than you ever thought.

Right?

Wow, I've never

done this before.

It's like dance karaoke?

It's Montreal.

World capital of this kind of sh*t.

Montreal, baby.

Oh! Now listen, are there going to be any...

Is this just dudes?

No, no, no. It's not that those

guys weren't enjoyable.

No, plenty of girls coming.

I swear.

Okay.

I hope so.

No, there's girls coming.

Where's 'Rona?

I think she's in the bathroom.

Where's Munch?

I have no f***ing idea.

She had another miscarriage.

What?

When?

Thursday.

This Thursday?

Yeah.

This is her 5th.

I know she loves all those kids like

they were her own blood,

but I wonder if we

have been selfish.

People like us,

we wait until our 30s,

and then we are surprised when the

babies aren't so easy to make anymore.

And every day another million

It's terrible feeling this helpless, man.

You just watch these babies grow,

and then...

Then fade.

And you don't know if you're

supposed to name them

or bury them, or...

I'm sorry.

Well, you have

every right to be pissed.

Or worse.

Yeah...

Damn right, I'll be there.

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