Awful Nice Page #7

might not be cool with

you upgrading like that.

Check this out.

Mystery safe.

Super cool.

I bet this thing is full

of bear bonds, dude.

A bear bond- it's like in world

war ii, bears were really rare,

and then like, uh, you

could buy like bonds.

I don't think

that's what that is.

I can open this sucker

up, dude. Easy.

See if he can give

us a locksmith.

Dude, then we gotta

cut him in, man.

Actually... I'm not

really used to these.

[Bang]

[Crash]

Alright, that can

come out of my half.

Dave?

Did you freeze all my shirts?

What are you doing?

Get out of here.

Is that wild things?

Yeah, get outta here!

Are you still going?

Go away. Now!

Are you still going?

Yes, I'm still going. Go away!

F***ing pervert.

I just feel like, I feel like

you're gonna break that window.

I'm not gonna break

that window, ok?

It's a tennis ball, ok?

Don't worry about it.

You throw the ball up.

I hit the ball, hits the

wasp nest, wasp nest falls.

We run, lock

ourselves in the car.

Pull around, run over the

wasp nest with the car.

Killing the wasps, k?

This seems like a

really shitty plan.

It's not a shitty plan, ok?

I've done this four times, dude.

You've done this four times?

Yeah.

Did it work?

Yeah, it worked.

Three times.

What happened the fourth time?

Ball guy f***ed up.

So...

Don't screw this up.

Ready?

Yep.

Get ready to run, 'cuz these

guys are going to be pissed.

[Glass breaking]

That's coming out of your half.

F***in' bat had like pine

tar on it, or something.

You did?

That's awesome.

Hold on, hold on.

What are you...? Stop, stop.

Dude, all I'm saying is- like

irregardless of whether it's a

good idea or not, you

can bet on wrestlemania.

It's just like paying

attention to the characters.

Well, they're not characters.

They're athletes.

Oh, score dude.

Check it out. Surge alert.

Take a rip, dude.

Gross.

I'll race ya.

You're gonna get sick.

That's like fifteen years old,

and surge is gross anyway.

These are worth a ton. I

shouldn't of f***ing drank that.

You didn't open yours. That was

smart, dude. Profit.

You totally overestimate

the collectables market.

Dude, sh*t is worth

a lot of money.

No, it's not. It's really not.

Oh, sh*t dude.

This might be a little

more your speed.

Oh dude. Super Jack pot.

What's that?

Party pills.

These are like tranquilizers.

Let's get this

party started, dude.

Dude, these are for Steve

when he got heartworms.

Yeah, they're tranqs dude.

They're like xanaxs.

You just gotta take like...

You gotta get the ratio

of like dog to person.

So like if he needed two,

I'll have like twelve.

It's not rocket science, dude.

Yeah, you're right. It's

like actual science.

You alright, man?

You look f***ed up.

I just chugged that

surge too fast.

Sh*t's like fifteen cups of

coffee straight to the dong.

I'm pretty sure it's

those dog pills.

Want me to take you to the vet?

Uneccessary.

Iron stomache man, I told you.

Oh hey, I got it.

Check it out. I'm gonna kill

so many f***ing wasps.

I'm gonna go kill some,

like, churros real quick.

I'll be right back.

[Crash]

[Cell ringing]

[Home phone ringing]

Jim, what is taking so long?

We're fixing a house.

This isn't easy.

Didn't you say that your dad's

business partner had some

crew that he could hire?

That's gonna cost like

thousands of dollars,

and Dave and I are doing this.

It's like a brother thing...

This isn't an excuse for you to

go run off and, like, live out

your childhood

with your brother.

I'm not reliving my childhood.

I'm doing the best that I can.

I need you do something, Jim.

I need you to take action.

Like what? What do

you want me to do?

Hire the guys, get the

money, and come home.

Yeah, it's right

off seventy-five.

What's up, big brother?

Go on a little nature hike?

Yeah I wanted to

walk around the lake.

You look like you've

had a productive day.

You fix that screen door.

I stole a bunch of this screen

door stuff from this

country club down the street.

He was like... he said he paid

for all this sh*t that we broke

But I don't know what

he's talking about there.

He also said he wanted to

take us out to dinner tonight.

And I was like, I

don't know about that.

Sounds kinda weird.

They were giving them away.

Can you believe that?

Just like some kind of

jacket giveaway or something.

There was just like a whole room

of 'em just like racked up,

and I'm like, oh awesome.

I took like five.

Did you rob a coat room?

Rob a? No man.

Oh dude, check this out.

That's badass.

I did a bunch while you were

gone doing whatever,

but we got like a ton of work.

I gotta big list.

Is this mine?

That's yours.

This is awesome.

We got two.

It's like Batman and Robin.

Suit up.

We gotta lot of work today.

What the f*** is that?

Hold on, we got intruders.

Dave.

Dave.

Hey, a**hole.

Dave!

I'm giving you ten seconds to

get out of my f***ing driveway.

Chill out. Chill out, chill out.

I'm giving you ten seconds to

get your piece of sh*t truck

out of my driveway, ok?

This is my property.

I was over there. I could

not hear you well.

Get your f***in' goon

squad out of my property.

[Laughing]

What is this? What?

He's just joking.

You are very funny.

No, I'm not joking.

Are you Jim?

I'm javier. This is my

associate, Trevor.

I am Ivan.

Why are you, why do

you know these guys?

Because I hired 'em.

For what?

To fix the f***ing house.

We don't need any help

with the f***in' house.

We need so much help!

There's nothing wrong with it.

We have no idea what

we're doing.

We just gotta- branches.

It's not branches.

We don't need four guys...

You should put

him in a birdcage.

So he can keep chirping

to his heart's delite.

I got two chirps for you, ok?

One of them's gonna

be me hitting you.

The other chirp's gonna be

me kicking him in the dick.

What about me.

I'm still here.

Nah, it's not worth it.

Not even worth it, slim.

You want to hit me?

He doesn't want to hit you.

Get the f*** out of here.

Get in the f***ing truck-

how 'bout I slap your face?

How 'bout you f***ing try it?

Listen, we're doing you a favor.

[Slap]

[Laughing]

Woah, hey.

Can I talk to you

inside for a second?

Charbineau got this guy to

give us a hell of a deal

I'm so f***ing sick of your

cut and run bullshit, dude.

You're taking something that's

so awesome and special and

you're just f***ing ruining

it and I don't know why.

I'm ruining it?

on purpose. Ok?

This guy on the other hand,

can have us home within a week,

checks in hand.

I don't care about that.

I don't trust this guy.

I don't trust charbineau.

You know what, you're on the

chopping block too, buddy.

Why do you have to make

things so much more difficult?

Oh here comes Tim

the tool man Taylor now.

You come to chirp with

us, my little bird?

Dave?

You got iced out.

Ooh, I feel bad.

What the f*** is going on, man?

Huh?

Hey.

Look at him in his

piece of sh*t car.

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