Awful Nice Page #8

That's my car.

It's a piece of sh*t.

Woah, come on. Watch it.

Oh.

Hey, do you know where Petra is?

I'm sorry, what?

Do you where Petra is?

I understand English.

Are your pants on backwards?

No, my pants aren't... oh,

maybe, yeah. I drove here.

Why do you drive with

pants on backwards?

I don't drive with my

pants on backwards.

I drive with no pants.

It's this thing

my dad taught me.

You wouldn't understand.

Do you work here?

Yes, but I just got off.

Yes, but why do you

want her and not me.

What are you talking-

why would I want-?

Listen, I just met you.

Is that a joint?

No.

Can you get a joint?

All I'm saying is if you're

gonna hire a bunch of guys

Talk to me about it first, ok?

Why's that so hard.

I'm a grown up.

If you got a problem,

let's talk about it.

Why don't you just apologize to

him and tell him all the things

you're telling me?

It's not that easy, lady.

Why not?

Is it because you're a man?

No, it's because we're brothers

and we're super competitive.

We've been fighting

our whole lives.

I'm smarter than he is and I

think he's starting to realize

that, and that's pissing

him off real bad.

You wouldn't understand.

Why would I not understand?

Wait, is Petra one

of your sisters?

What- what is this

with you and Petra?

You know, I can do whatever it

is that you like that she does.

Don't worry about it.

Just, where is Petra?

I don't know. In Mr.

charbineau's restaurant.

Is that Mr. charbineau?

Hey, that guy is

supposed to be our guy.

You get worked up very easily.

Does everybody in this

f***ing town know each other?

Everybody knows Mr.

charbineau, you know?

You said he's at a restaurant?

Oh, you're on time.

Alright, lay down eight

times on the redskins.

Gotta call, bye.

So, what's up?

You look sad.

I got a lot to be sad about.

Do you?

Yep.

You know, when I

feel that way...

Two things you have to remember.

Know how to party.

Know how to forgive.

Honestly, John, that's the worst

advice anyone's ever given me.

That's what I thought when

your father told it to me.

Now I have a surprise for you.

I want you to meet

your dad's old gang.

Not like I'm gonna pop a cap

in your ass, it's more like

legitimate business associates.

Ah, alright.

The guy cheating at cards,

that's Jimmy two tone.

Nicky mo, and this is

Mr. ballbuster himself.

Who is this?

Who is this? Who is this?

No, who is this?

Look at the face.

Right, right.

[Laughing]

And the apple is the bread.

[Laughing]

And that is how you

make a fruit sandwich.

[Laughing]

Him I think you know. Ivan!

Gustovia, huh.

[Banter]

Remember, party, forgiveness.

Pretty good. Hey Ivan, I just

want to apologize for

Oh no, no, no.

No apologies necessary.

No, no, no.

You are in the clear, my friend.

[Laughing]

Here's to my new

best friend, Jim.

Jim!

Happy Birthday, Jim!

Happy Birthday.

It's not my birthday.

That's my brother.

Is it your birthday?

I don't know.

I recently saw that movie

Alice in wonderland, and they

celebrate every day it is

not their birthday.

I see that movie and I say that

is going to be my life now,

so...

[Laughing]

Hey!

How do I do it compared to you?

Hey!

I can do- I can do any voice.

Name a celebrity. Name one.

Let's get a bottle of

renyaki for my friends here.

I'd love to stay for a drink.

So stay.

American style.

Let's tear down the walls.

Let's tear down the walls, Jim.

I've never shotgunned

a beer before.

I've shotgunned other things.

Ahhh.

Other things.

Like a f***ing person.

[Laughing]

I've never killed anyone.

Dave, can I talk to you

outside for a second?

I'll go outside with you,

but I'm going back in, ok?

I'll be right back, alright?

Yes, yes, yes.

You'll be write back.

Get the renyakis going.

You better be ready

when I get back.

We're shotgunning

beers when I come back.

You come back or I'll

f***ing kill you.

[Laughing]

I'm not joking, I'm not joking.

If he doesn't come

back, we kill him.

Yeah, for sure.

Petra's friend brought

me to meet with charbineau.

F***ing charbineau brought me.

He brought- oh ok, sent

me a letter, brings you. Ok.

He set this up. I got it.

Very cool, very cool.

Let's head back in.

Wait, wait, wait.

I just want to say, uh, I'm

sorry for, uh, going behind your

back and hiring those guys.

Like, we said it was going

to be like a brother project.

I should've consulted with you.

plan's not going as smoothly

as I kinda talked it up to be.

And maybe tomorrow I'll get some

fresh eyes on those blueprints.

Maybe skim them, cut the-

trim the fat a little bit.

I really think we should

consider hiring these guys.

You want to hire these guys?

They know less about building

houses than me or you, k?

I don't think that's possible.

Dude, I got an idea.

Me and you head back in

there, brother style.

We pull some charbineau CIA

mindgame sh*t on them, let them

bring their guard down, maybe

we cut a deal with them...

Dave, I think if we're gonna

accomplish this goal, like you

and I need to be like

super responsible.

I agree.

Extremely responsible.

So let's get in there

and butter 'em up.

I'm not going in there.

You know what, this

is a good idea.

You go home, guard the house.

I'm gonna go in here,

pull a little covert op.

Get them real drunk and then we

really find out what they're-

you know, see their whole hand.

You've got a secondary

initiative going. I like it.

I'm not going to do

anything dumb, ok?

Uh, really?

I'm- I'm gonna do good cop.

Nope.

[Cheering]

[Cheering]

Lobster time!

Ahh!

U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A.

Ahh!

Dave worked there for

twenty-four hours then it

burned down. Total

coincidence he swears.

Seems like he's doing ok

with everything, though?

Uh, I don't know.

Like...

Sometimes I feel like he doesn't

care about anything, and then

every once in awhile

I think he's...

There's like a- there's like

a thread of, like, normal.

And then it's like, it's as if

he catches me noticing that,

and he goes right back to

being a weird robot a**hole.

It's probably a

defense mechanism.

But, like, that's a

stupid thing to do.

Like, at first it's like, oh

yeah, you know let's help him

out, but then it just gets

f***ing old after awhile.

But what about you and your dad?

Why didn't you guys stay close?

Did Dave like tear apart

your family or something?

No.

That's one of the only

things Dave didn't ruin.

If anything he kept us closer.

You know half this

house is mine?

Half of this arcade

machine is mine, too.

I like this arcade machine.

I like it too.

Hey Ivan.

Are you just talking to her,

or are you talking to me too?

I was talking to her, but

if you want to hang out...

Well I'm not here?

No, you're here.

Course you're here.

Uh, guys.

Hey, hey, no, not.

On my party porch, you kiss me.

And that's how it is, ok?

What? I kiss you the

f*** I like.

You know what, I'll kiss

whoever the f*** I want too.

Mm. Mmm.

How do you like that?

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