Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan Page #3

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- Count me in.

- Where are you gonna go?

Like you could find

your way back.

- We came up here;

we can get back down.

- No one likes this sh*t,

but it beats jail time.

- Screw you guys.

I'm gonna find a way

out of here.

- This guy's gonna get us all

in trouble.

I know that guy's a hard-Ass,

but look,

If we stick together,

we can get through this thing.

- Man, I hate that f***er.

I'm gonna frag him in his sleep.

- What's that?

Sh*t.

- Yo, what is this?

- Check it out.

- What is it?

- I don't even know.

Dude, what are you doing?

- F***in' "a. "

I'm taking a souvenir.

- Come on, man.

We need to get back

before sergeant hokeypokey

Comes looking for us.

Come on.

(Ominous music)

Hey, check out what we found.

- Where did you get that?

- Big deal.

It's a cow horn.

- Uh, excuse me.

Cows don't have horns.

- Just leave it.

- What?

I'm gonna make a bong

out of this thing.

I got get something

out of this shitty program.

- Hell, yeah.

- That was a living creature.

You shouldn't smoke out of it.

- What?

It's just some old dead cow.

- You mean bull.

- I know, smart-Ass.

- What's going on here?

What is that?

Do you think

this is a scavenger hunt?

It's not.

I know you, boy,

All strut and no gut.

Well, it looks like some of you

didn't enjoy your lunch.

Isn't that a pity?

Do me a favor.

Clean up after yourselves now.

We are moving out.

Move out!

Open your ears!

Moving!

Move!

- Get all your things.

Remember, leave only footprints.

Zack, get your sandwich, please.

(Ominous music)

- Howdy, sheriff.

- Ronny, how you doing?

- Fine.

- Budd, you get the game

on that thing?

- Nah, nothing exciting happens

in this small town.

What can I pour you, sheriff?

- A little early, Budd.

- Early?

That never stopped me.

- Dad.

He's on duty.

- I'm just trying to make

the place a little profit.

- Wish you would've tried that

before you sold me this place.

- Oh...

- Say, Mel,

didn't you have a cousin

Who went to that

first offenders program

Up there to cutter's peak?

- That was a niece, yeah.

It's a pretty good program.

Really helped her.

- I just dropped c. B. Off

up there today.

Well, there's

this female counselor up there...

She seemed all right...

But what do you know

About this instructor,

this sergeant Hoke guy?

- Abner Hoke?

That guy's crazy.

He ought to be in jail.

He killed a kid up there

last year.

- Killed a kid?

Are you serious?

- Yup.

They worked him to death.

- Hey, dad, can you go wait

on the other customers?

- They already got fresh drinks.

- Are these f***ing quarters

up there?

- You're f***ing cheating.

- Chill out.

- No, I mean

the paying customers over there.

- Hello.

- I'm going.

I'm headed that way.

Relax.

Just relax.

- Is that really what happened?

- No.

Look, a kid got heat stroke,

But, you know,

he had a heart condition

That no one knew about,

and he's okay now.

I'm sure c. B. Will be fine.

- Yeah.

Maybe you're right.

Just being a little

overprotective, I guess.

- Just a little bit.

- Well, thanks, Mel.

I'll see you around.

- Hey, ray.

Why don't you stop by

after work and have a drink?

On the house.

- You know, that's no way

to turn a profit.

- Oh.

(Chuckles)

- If you can't keep up,

Ill leave you behind.

- Move out, s. T.U.M.P.S.

Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut.

- (Growls)

(Heavy footsteps and breathing)

(Growling inquisitively)

(Roaring)

- Is that a mountain lion?

- I don't think so.

- Mountain lions

are not my list today.

Move out!

- (Roaring)

- Hey!

Chicken little, give me that.

That's mine.

- (Laughs)

(Heavy footsteps and breathing)

- All right, s. T.U.M.P.S,

we can soft peddle it from here.

It's approximately three miles

back to the cabin.

It'll take 43 minutes,

28 seconds.

- Thank you for that

very important piece of info.

- And sunset will be in t-Minus

42 minutes and 110 hours.

(Phone beeps)

- (Laughs)

(Beeps)

- Hey, I got one.

(Pounding noise in distance)

(Noise approaching)

(Heavy footsteps)

- What?

- (Growls)

- Run!

All:
oh!

- (Groans)

- (Whimpering)

- (Growling)

- Sh*t.

- Run! Run!

Move out! Run!

Move out! Move out!

- Come on!

- (Growling)

- (Grunts)

- (Roars)

(Growling)

Quick now!

Back to the cabin!

Move, move, move, move, move!

- Come on.

- Come on.

Come on, let's go.

Hurry up.

- Let's go.

- (Panting)

- Hey, look out.

Move, move, move, move, move.

No, no, no, no, ladies,

don't stop now.

We're almost home.

We're almost home.

Oh!

Go, go!

- (Screams)

- (Grunts)

- (Growls)

- (Yelps)

(Grunts)

Sam, no! No!

You go get those kids

off this mountain!

Get back to the cabin!

Now!

Now!

Hey.

Hey!

Yeah, you.

When I get up, I swear to god,

Ill shove that ax handle

So far up your ass

you're gonna sh*t splinters

Till Christmas!

- What the hell was that thing?

- Come on, Rosa.

Come on, come on.

I know you're hurt,

but we got to keep moving.

Come on.

- This way.

This way.

Go.

- Which way do we go?

- Where's sergeant Hoke?

- This way.

- Sh*t.

- Go, go.

(Dramatic music)

- It's locked!

(Door rattling)

- Look out.

Look out!

Come on.

Get inside.

It's still out there.

Come on.

Come on!

- What was that thing?

- Es el demonio.

It's the devil.

(All panting)

- Where's Hoke?

What happened to Hoke?

- That thing got him; he's dead.

- Well, that's just great.

That's just great.

What are we gonna do now?

- We got to get out of here.

- Everybody, calm down.

We'll get through this.

- Okay, lady, what's the plan?

- The van.

We should get the van.

- Good idea.

- Sergeant Hoke has the keys.

- Well, that's just perfect.

We can't stay here.

This is not gonna protect us.

- Zack, get it together.

- Who put you in charge?

This isn't a therapy session.

- I can hot-Wire it.

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

- Okay, okay.

C.B., find some weapons.

- Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t.

- Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

- Come on, come on, come on.

(Twigs snap)

(Grunts)

Okay.

- I don't see 'em.

Can you see 'em?

(Suspenseful music)

- Hurry.

Hurry.

(Electricity crackling)

- It's not working.

- Come on, let's go.

- I just need more time.

(Groans)

I almost had it.

- They're coming back.

- What happened?

- I can't do it.

I just need more time.

- Oh, sh*t.

We're screwed.

That was our only way out.

What are we gonna do now?

I got to get out of here.

He's gonna come back.

He'll come back!

- (Panting hoarsely)

(Growling)

- Zack, let me see your hand.

- You don't need to see my hand.

- You're bleeding.

You cut yourself.

(Cloth rips)

- Thank you.

- (Yells)

(Gibbering with fright)

(Knocking on door)

Door... Open the door!

- It's Meeks.

- Let me in!

- Crazy old guy?

- If he's here,

then maybe the devil is gone.

- Get him in.

There's a maniac out there.

- Let me in!

Oh.

What the hell did you do?

- We didn't do anything.

- I'm gonna tell you something.

Now, you young uns's

been messing with something

You ought not have.

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