Bachelor Party 2: The Last Temptation Page #5

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but it was nice meeting you.

- [ Laughing ] You too.

- All right. Come on, little prince.

[ Seth ]

Bye, LeBron.

Hey, it's Mel.

Leave a message. l'll call you back.

Hey, babe.

Just callin' to say hi.

l miss you. Um--

Gimme a call whenever.

l'll talk to you then.

Love you. Bye.

[ Women Giggling ]

[ Giggling Continues ]

Guten Abend.

- Mmm. [ Chuckles ]

- Balls to the wall, Ron.

Yeah, you know,

l think l'm more of a couch sleeper.

[ Chuckles ]

Auf Wiedersehen, ladies.

[ Muffled Giggling ]

Oh, what is wrong with this guy?

Who walks away from that?

[ Giggling ]

Oh. Oh.

[ Snoring ]

- Wakey, wakey, D.

- Uh, Nacho Bellgrande.

[ Groaning ]

[ Women Giggling ]

- Morning, ladies.

- [ Women ] Guten Morgen.

[ Muttering ]

There is my book.

- Oh. l did--

- [ Laughs ] Danke schn.

l set a banana on--

lt wa--

lt was--

[ Exhales ]

Oh, God.

She wasn't just reading

Hitler's manifesto, okay?

She was highlighting it.

Those girls are Nazis!

Well, maybe,

but they're hot Nazis. ''Hotzis.''

[ Chuckles ]

[ Groans ]

What the f***!

- Hey. What the hell is this?

- What?

This. What is this?

- That's your wedding ring.

- My what?

Your wedding ring. You got married last night.

You don't remember?

- [ Together] What?

- Yeah. After you guys left...

he went over to that little chippie at the bar

and they actually hit it off.

Then we went out and had some drinks,

did some dancing.

Before you know it, we were

in a little chapel in Boca. I was your best man.

You were my best man?

You let me marry her? What the f***!

l was honored to be asked, buddy.

[ Stammers ]

Oh. Okay, guys.

Ha, ha, ha. l've been punk'd.

Very funny.

- You're f***in' with me, right?

- Actually, l'm not.

Been waiting all morning to show you

your marriage certificate.

Yeah, yeah. Could have got this done

at a Kinko's.

Two minutes.

Ha, ha. Very funny.

Then there's always the video.

[ Derek Cackling ]

l'm gettin' married!

l'm-l'm in love

with Sonia Hernandez.

Who's Sonia Hernandez?

- That's your new stepmom, twit.

- Seriously? Again?

Dad, tell me this is a joke.

Look, l don't remember

what happened.

You don't remember?

What is the matter with you?

Okay,you hold on,

'cause I'm still your father.

Oh, you sure?

'Cause sometimes l don't know...

who's the adult and who's the child.

Thanks a lot, ass.

[ Knocking ]

Surprise bachelorette party!

[ Screams, Blows Noisemaker]

- Thank you. Hi.

- [ Chattering, Laughing ]

You know what I love

about golf,Ron?

- What's that, Todd?

- lt just has so much in common with women.

l mean, the finest,

most gorgeous courses in the world...

are also the most expensive

and the most difficult.

l mean, sure we like

to kick around...

with a shitty little

par three now and again--

- Long as our buddies don't see us, right?

- Mmm.

The beauty of golf is variety.

You don't want

to play the same hole every day.

Even if you are

playing the backside.

Well, that's, uh--

That's beautiful, Todd, but l think

l'm more of a one-hole kind of a guy.

l'm a three-hole man, myself.

Right.

All right, boys, what do you say

we make it interesting?

- Five hundred a man.

- Uh, how about we keep it to 1 00, huh?

- And we play Kennedy rules.

- What are Kennedy rules?

Ted Kennedy.

All right? Yeah.

You lose a hole, you drink.

You hit it in the sand, you drink.

Seth ''whiffs'' the ball, we all drink.

- l don't even want to play.

- Well, you're gonna.

We played at the putt-putt.

The rules will transfer just fine.

Fair enough.

We're also gonna play Todd rules.

What are Todd rules?

Strip golf.

Lose a hole, you lose some clothes.

l told you he was a 'mo.

Come on, pay up.

Not us. The caddies.

Oh, and that's less gay how?

Those are our caddies.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Ashley couldn't make it,

but her sister is coming.

Oh. Here she comes now.

Sorry l'm late.

My bunions are killing me.

- l call this one.

- Wait, wait.

- She's mine.

Oh, this day just keeps

getting better and better.

[ Whistling ]

Yeah.

Oh.

Hmm.

Whoa!

Ah.

Oh, l can't. No!

All right.

Oh, God.

- Up yours, buddy.

- [ Yells ]

- Drained it.

- Oh, yes!

- Fore!

- [ Todd ] Come back. Come back.

[ Chattering, Cheering ]

[ Laughing ]

Miss it.

Miss it. Miss it.

[Jason ]

Noonan. Noonan.

[Jason ]

Oh,yeah. That's my boy!

[ Cheering ]

[ Cheering Continues ]

Let me get this right, Ron.

Your smokin' hot caddy

asked you to play a 1 9th hole...

and you said no?

Dude, l'm gonna have

to check your balls for gay.

Are you remotely familiar

with how monogamy works?

- [Jason ] No!

- All right, boys, listen up.

- [ Grunts ]

- Tonight l got something special planned.

We're going to the biggest party

down at the beach.

We're comin' back here

and we're drinkin' all night.

All right?

Get some rest.

We're goin' balls to the wall.

- ls Seth okay?

- He's fine.

l, on the other hand,

got way too much exercise.

Ah. Wunderbar.

Mmm. You want?

- Nein.

- All right.

- Scaredy cat.

- Hey.

Can you guys believe this? There's, like,

ln Miami? Shocking.

Here's what we'll do, okay? lf each of us

phones 7 5-- Right? That should work--

Wait a minute.

Where's-Where's Tommy?

Sonny? Hello? Sonny?

- Hey, hey, you.

- Hey.

- This is Shawna.

- Hi.

You think you can take care of her

the way you took care of me?

Does the pope sh*t in the woods?

One second.

Alley-oop.

Okay. Did you girls lose

a bet or something? Huh?

Daddy's little helper.

Look out, ladies.

Here l come.

Your friend-- He's just amazing.

- Eww.

- Mr. Amazing is back.

[ Chuckles ]

All right.

- I'll catch you guys later.

- Hey, man, gimme the phone book.

l'll help you out.

[ Billiard Ball Clacks ]

Autumn, can we do this tonight,

at, like, a club or something?

These guys are not here

to play bachelorette games.

They're here to feed

their drinking problems.

l have everything all set up...

and if you start changing things now,

it'll mess everything up...

- and we won't get home in time for your surprise--

- Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Excuse me. Hi. Hi.

lt's my bachelorette party,

and, well, l was just wondering...

if you wanted to pay a dollar to...

well, suck a piece

of candy off my shirt.

Here's 1 0, but leave me

the f*** alone.

Nice throw, Son.

[ Derek ]

Hey, Tommy, it's me again.

Look. l, uh--

l want to apologize for this morning.

lt's-lt's not your fault

that your dad's a f***-up.

Just call me when you can.

I'm worried about you and--

l-- l love you, okay?

Okay. Bye.

Hey, guy!

Little help here?

- Oh! What the hell is wrong with you?

-Just wasted a beer.

Hi. Can l have a Jameson

on the rocks, please?

Tough day?

- Hey! Browns girl.

- [ Chuckles ]

- What, do you live in this bar?

- Practically.

Tony makes the best mojitos

in South Beach.

And it's Eva, by the way.

Hi. l'm Ron.

So, Ron, what's going on?

l am-- l am here

for my bachelor party.

Your bachelor party?

Oh, well.

That bums me out.

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