Bachelor Party Page #22

ANGLE ON MR. THOMERSON AND OTHER JUDGES

They like what they see.

MR. THOMERSON

(to another)

Great bathing suit.

EXECUTIVE:

(indicating Laverne)

I think I screwed that one once.

INT. THOMERSON'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Debbie and the shower guests are all in a state of undress.

We WATCH as they put on dresses and heavy makeup. Mrs.

Thomerson is still freaked out over her meeting with Nick

the Dick.

MRS. THOMERSON

I had his weiner right in my hands.

ILENE:

I told you. Men are pigs... I saw

them standing there.

PHOEBE:

What a gross thing to do... gawd!

ILENE:

I bet right now Rick and his pals...

(she spits disdainfully)

...are knee deep in whores.

MRS. THOMERSON

A strange wang right in my palm.

DEBBIE:

Ilene, we don't really know that.

BOBBIE:

That's what we're going to find out...

DEBBIE:

I feel like I'm spying on Rick.

ILENE:

Good. That's just what we're doing.

TINA:

I'll kill Stan if I find out he's

been screwing around.

Ilene shoves socks in her bra to enhance her cleavage and

defiantly slaps on her new dress.

ILENE:

Brett, are you with us?

MRS. THOMERSON

(coming out of her

fog)

Yeah, sure... I was eye to eye with

an unfamiliar pud.

INT. HOTEL SUITE

The party is taking off. The all-girl band is going ape sh*t.

The guys are dancing with the hookers. They're all moving in

unison, to a gyrating New Wave dance step and singing along

with the MUSIC.

ANGLE - RYKO

He's wearing gravity boots, hanging upside down, entwined

around one of the hookers. They're hanging there, making out

like crazy. Gary passes by.

RYKO:

Hey, Gary, spot me.

ANGLE - BEDROOM DOOR

Stan comes out of the bedroom. He's disheveled, but looks

very happy. He crosses to Rick.

STAN:

Thanks a lot, that was the best.

You're next.

RICK:

Nah, not yet. Look, you're my older

brother. I need some advice here.

What's the deal with marriage? What

can I expect?

STAN:

Well, the first month it's great.

The second month things calm down a

little. By the third month you're

looking through your old girlfriends'

phone numbers; by the fourth month

you're numb; by the fifth month,

hopefully the football season starts.

RICK:

Thanks, Stan, you've been a lot of

help.

Stan pats Rick on the back and dives into the festivities.

ANGLE - GARY

He spots someone across the room. It's like Tony spotting

Maria for the first time in "West Side Story." As in a DREAM

SEQUENCE, ALL SOUNDS STOP. Two pinspots hit them. She turns

and sees him. She smiles. Both are madly in love. Like two

pieces of metal attracted to the same magnet, they walk toward

each other.

GARY:

Hi.

SHE:

Hello.

They take each other by the hand. They walk into the bedroom

and close the door behind them.

The New Wave dance briefly continues, then comes to an end.

ANOTHER ANGLE - THE HOTEL ROOM

O'Neill grabs Ryko (who is just coming down from his gravity

bar) and Stan, who is wearing a pair of women's underwear on

his head.

O'NEILL

You guys better get going. It's

getting late.

STAN:

Oh, right.

Ryko and Stan cross to the door and exit. As they do, four

or five pretty GIRLS are passing by in the hallway.

GIRL:

Is there a party going on in there

or something?

RYKO:

Yeah. It's great. Go on in.

The girls cross inside.

STAN:

My God. Fresh meat. Let's hurry back.

INT. BATHROOM - TIGHT ON LARRY

There is a pained, tragic and extremely stoned out look on

his face as he sighs deeply and then summons up his courage.

WIDEN as he looks down at his right wrist.

He heaves another deep sigh and brings an electric razor

INTO FRAME. He turns it on and runs it over his wrist. Of

course, nothing happens. Just then Rick enters.

RICK:

What the hell are you doing?

LARRY:

I'm trying to slash my wrists.

RICK:

You're trying to kill yourself with

an electric razor?

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