Bachelor Party Page #25

LAVERNE:

That's a good question. From the way

I understand it, according to supply

side economics, when supply exceeds

demand, recession is the result.

That's why I think we should control

the credit markets and increase the

prime rate. That way, the consumer

price index will stabilize and we

will have economic recovery.

ANGLE - THE CROWD

They break into spontaneous applause.

ANGLE - CHULO

He is totally blown away.

ANGLE - LAVERNE

She smiles broadly at the applause and walks off stage. Chulo

moves alongside her.

CHULO:

How'd you know all that stuff? You're

a real brain.

LAVERNE:

Nah, I used to f*** a librarian.

Chulo looks at her with awe and respect as she exits into

the dressing room.

CHULO:

Wow!

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT

Debbie, her mother and the girls enter the lobby. They

approach the Hotel Manager, who is standing behind the front

desk. They are dressed garishly, like hookers. Debbie has on

a cheap blonde wig and mini skirt. The Manager looks at them

the way one would look at an approaching plague.

DEBBIE:

I don't believe we're doing this.

The Manager crosses to them.

MANAGER:

Can I help you, ladies?

DEBBIE:

Yes, we're looking for the Stahl

party.

MANAGER:

Room 1002.

The girls turn and start toward the elevator. Mrs. Thomerson,

who is wearing the kind of push-up bra that makes her tits

look like the Black Hills, smiles at the Manager seductively.

He smiles back, then catches himself.

MANAGER:

(to Bellboy)

Those guys are asking for it.

The girls cross to the elevator. Ilene pushes the button and

the doors swing open. They get inside and just before the

doors close, a huge behemoth of a man joins them inside. He

turns and faces CAMERA. It's Milt, Rajah's beefy helper. He

doesn't look happy as he eyes the girls. They look back at

him uncomfortably as the doors slam shut.

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR

The elevator door opens. Milt has all the girls by the collar

and hustles them down the hall.

ILENE:

You're making a big mistake.

MILT:

Shut up. You still got another job

to do here.

MRS. THOMERSON

What kind of job? I'm a housewife.

DEBBIE:

Quiet, Mother.

Milt stops at a door and kicks it with his foot. The door

opens a crack at first, then swings open wide, revealing six

middle-aged Japanese business MEN in their underwear. They

smile wide at the girls, obviously thrilled with the quality

of the merchandise delivered to them. Milt shoves them into

the room.

MILT:

Get in there.

He slams the door shut and exits.

INT. JAPANESE GUYS' ROOM

The guys start to move toward our panicked girls. They speak

to each other in Japanese (with English subtitles)

JAPANESE ONE:

Nice looking quim, huh, Bob?

JAPANESE TWO:

Yeah, you know me, Ray, I've always

been a sucker for redheads.

JAPANESE FOUR:

Hubba-hubba.

BOBBIE:

Let's get out of here, girls.

They turn toward the door. One of the Japanese races over

and gets there first, slamming and bolting the door shut.

DEBBIE:

Guys, take it easy. Guys.

The girls run around the room in a panic with the Japanese

chasing them in very hot pursuit.

EXT. COLE'S ROOM

Rick, O'Neill and Tracey quietly approach Cole's door. Tracey

is dressed in a see-through negligee.

RICK:

This is it.

(he positions Tracey

outside the door)

Go get 'im.

He and O'Neill duck around the hallway corner, out of sight.

INT. COLE'S ROOM

He is at the window, holding his crossbow. He is frantically

searching the bachelor party across the way for any sign of

Rick.

COLE:

Where the hell is he?

He hears a KNOCK on the DOOR. Cole quickly hides his crossbow

under the bed and answers the door.

ANOTHER ANGLE:

Tracey stands in the open door. Cole's jaw drops open. He

has never seen anything as lovely.

COLE:

Yeah?

TRACEY:

Make love to me... please.

She walks into the room. Cole closes the door.

INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE COLE'S DOOR

Rick and O'Neill run up to the door. They listen closely. We

HEAR the SOUND of Cole's SHIRT being RIPPED off, the buttons

flying around the room, then the SOUND of his pant ZIPPER

being undone.

RICK:

T minus... 3... 2... 1. We have

ignition.

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