Bachelor Party Page #29

INT. HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

Some more uninvited guests come drifting into the room.

RICK:

Welcome, welcome, one and all.

MR. THOMERSON (O.S.)

Rick!

RICK:

(recognizing the voice)

Oh, no!

He turns and spots Mr. Thomerson as he makes his way through

the party.

RICK:

Christ... it's Mr. Laughs.

Mr. Thomerson goes nose to nose with Rick.

MR. THOMERSON

This is it. You're through. When

Debbie hears about this she'll never

see you again. Now I'm calling the

cops to break up this sex orgy...

And toss your ass in jail!

He turns away and walks OUT OF FRAME. O'Neill crosses to

Rick.

O'NEILL

What are you going to do about it?

RICK:

(defeated)

What can I do? I'm dead. Debbie's

going to go crazy and end the whole

thing.

O'NEILL

I'll stop him... You stall him.

ANOTHER ANGLE:

Mr. Thomerson is heading for the phone in the bedroom.

RICK:

Mr. Thomerson!

Thomerson stops and turns to Rick.

RICK:

(continuing; dramatic)

Please, no. Don't ruin my life.

Please!

He drops to his knees and hugs Thomerson's legs. The party

stops and everyone watches.

RICK:

(continuing)

It's not me. I was brought up on the

wrong side of the tracks. A victim

of my environment...

INT. HOTEL BEDROOM - O'NEILL AND LARRY

Larry is handing O'Neill a plastic bag filled with white

powder.

O'NEILL

Is that all the coke in the place?

LARRY:

That's it.

O'NEILL

Good.

O'Neill unscrews the mouthpiece off the phone. He pours the

bag of cocaine into the phone. He then screws the mouthpiece

back on over this mound of powder. Satisfied with his work,

he exits the bedroom.

INT. SUITE - MAIN ROOM

Thomerson is trying to free himself from Rick's grasp as

Rick continues with his "hard luck" story.

RICK:

My poor old mammy had to take in

laundry. My pappy had to work 20

hours a day at the Pez Factory.

ANOTHER ANGLE:

O'Neill gestures to Rick that everything's ready. Rick

immediately jumps to his feet.

RICK:

The end.

MR. THOMERSON

No sob story is going to change my

mind.

Mr. Thomerson pushes O'Neill aside and enters the bedroom.

O'NEILL

The phone's all yours.

Mr. Thomerson, in the bedroom, picks up the receiver. As he

does so, a cloud of cocaine falls out of the mouthpiece. He

screams at Rick, gesturing with the phone in his hand as he

dials. Each move produces a large cloud of powder, which

causes him to sniffle slightly.

MR. THOMERSON

I never liked you. I've never liked

any of your friends. I've hated you

from the first time I saw you. And

now you are out of my life. You are

out of my life!

He starts to react from inhaling the powder. He puts the

receiver to his ear. He takes a deep breath and tries to

dial another number. A large cloud of coke flies up his nose.

He's stunned. He takes another deep drag. He's hooked. He

forgets all about dialing. He jams the receiver against his

nose and takes deep drag after deep drag.

Desiree, still wearing her leather mask, crosses to him and

sits down next to him on the bed. He gives her a big, wide

smile.

O'Neill closes the door.

O'NEILL

Reach out and snort someone.

RICK:

I'm saved. Let's party!

Everyone starts to whoop it up again.

INT. JAPANESE SUITE

It's still a standoff between the girls and the horny

Japanese.

DEBBIE:

Let's give them what they want.

PHOEBE:

What?

Debbie opens the bedroom door and motions for the Japanese

to file in.

DEBBIE:

Let's go. Everyone inside.

The Japanese immediately put two and two together and get

orgy. These are some happy fellas as they enter the bedroom.

BOBBIE:

Deb, we're pretending to be hookers.

DEBBIE:

(herding in the last

Japanese)

Right in here. The big show starts

in one minute.

The Japanese man enters the room. Debbie slams the door shut

behind him.

DEBBIE:

Let's go.

ILENE:

Look, girls -- I'll stay behind and

hold them off. The rest of you break

for it!

DEBBIE:

Ilene, are you crazy?

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