Bachelor Party Page #9

ANGLE - MR. THOMERSON AND RICK

MR. THOMERSON

In a second...

(to Rick)

And you're irresponsible. Show some

initiative, try to better yourself,

stop showing off, actions speak louder

than words.

RICK:

Well, sir, that's quite a list. But

you're absolutely right. And if I

work hard at it, I think I can be a

totally changed person by the time

we finish lunch...

Mr. Thomerson rolls his eyes, knowing he's been wasting his

breath. He grabs the pitcher of lemonade and Rick grabs the

tray, which is filled with fresh lemons. They get up at the

same time and collide, sending the lemonade all over Mr. T.,

and the lemons bounding over the fence.

EXT. THOMERSON'S NEIGHBORS' HOUSE

The Neighbor we saw before is reading his paper when an

avalanche of lemons comes flying at him, joining the tennis

balls on the lawn.

NEIGHBOR:

I hate those people... I really do.

INT. THOMERSON HOUSE - DAY

The Thomersons, Rick, Debbie and Ilene are just finishing

lunch. The DOORBELL RINGS. Mr. Thomerson gets up to answer

it. Standing there is Cole, wearing his tennis shorts.

COLE:

Hi, everybody. Am I late?

MR. THOMERSON

Not at all. We're just finishing

lunch.

Cole crosses to the table and kisses Mrs. T's hand gallantly.

COLE:

Good to see you, Mrs. Thomerson.

Hello, Debbie.

He turns to Rick.

COLE:

(continuing)

And...

RICK:

Bond... James Bond.

Cole gives him a quick look of contempt and exits with Mr.

T.

MR. THOMERSON (O.S.)

So, Cole, you been practicing your

game?

COLE (O.S.)

Sure have...

DEBBIE:

Why is Cole here?

MRS. THOMERSON

You know your father enjoys his

company.

RICK:

Much the way Hitler enjoyed hanging

out with Mussolini.

EXT. THOMERSON TENNIS COURT - DAY

Mr. T. and Cole are having a fast-paced game.

MR. THOMERSON

Nice shot.

COLE:

Thank you, sir.

MR. THOMERSON

I know you're as unhappy as I am

about Debbie's marriage to Rick.

COLE:

Yes, sir, I am.

MR. THOMERSON

Cole, I don't want you to give up on

her.

COLE:

I've tried to change her mind.

MR. THOMERSON

It's not her mind you need to change.

It's Disneyland head in there.

COLE:

But how can I do that?

MR. THOMERSON

If it were me, I'd reason with him

first. Then, if that failed...

(with malice)

...I'd take more persuasive action.

Mr. T. drills a wicked forehand shot straight at Cole, who

swings at it and misses.

COLE:

(conspiratorily)

Thanks for the advise, sir.

MR. THOMERSON

Keep me informed.

PUSH IN ON Cole. This is a man with a plan...

EXT. PARK ON A BLUFF - DAY

The bluff overlooks the ocean. It's a beautiful spot. Just

the right setting for an outdoor wedding. Some folding chairs

have been set up and a canvas canopy.

Gathered for the rehearsal are Gary, Ryko, Chulo, O'Neill

who is with Bobbie, Debbie's mother and Mr. Thomerson, Phoebe,

Ilene, Tina, Stan, a gray-haired priest. FATHER FALWELL and,

of course, Rick and Debbie. Everyone is admiring this

picturesque setting. Everyone but Mr. Thomerson. He's very

underjoyed at the sight of Rick and his friends. Mr. and

Mrs. Thomerson are standing with Father Falwell. They are

watching Rick holding Debbie.

MR. THOMERSON

The thought of that person marrying

my daughter makes me want to upchuck.

MRS. THOMERSON

You can tell a man by his friends.

FATHER FALWELL:

They're not such a bad bunch.

MR. THOMERSON

No?

(he points off)

That's his best man peeing on a tree.

ANOTHER ANGLE:

In the b.g. we SEE O'Neill's back TO US. He is definitely

relieving himself on a weeping willow. The wind begins to

pick up.

FATHER FALWELL:

If everyone would take their

positions...

Everyone takes their places for the wedding procession. The

wind now takes this time to blow with much greater force. As

Father Falwell opens his Bible, the wind rips the pages out

of the Holy Book. They blow to the four corners of the Earth.

FATHER FALWELL:

(continuing)

Oh, dear. Well, let's begin. And...

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