Bachelorette Page #6

and they need

to go feel powerful

for a couple of hours.

Women feel shitty

about themselves

and they just go

cry in the bathroom.

Yeah.

Or they stab each

other in the back.

Yeah, I guess

there's that, too.

Yeah.

Oh, that's good.

Yeah.

I should like,

do this more often,

come to these

bathrooms, you know.

So much cheaper than going

to a f***ing therapist.

Yeah!

All right!

That's great. Thank you.

Regan!

Whoa, we're still having...

What is that?

I need to talk

to her for a second.

Where's Katie?

I don't know. This place

is like a f***ing maze.

Okay. Well, we gotta

get out of here

if we're ever gonna...

We need to find Clyde...

No to get the sewing machine.

No, it's a change of plans.

Do you think they'd

let me work here,

if I take my clothes off?

Oh, my god. You

let her smoke pot?

I can't control her.

You can't control her.

That's hilarious.

Why are you talking about

me like I'm not here?

I'm calling Becky,

and I'm telling her

about the dress,

'cause I can't

handle this anymore.

Hah! So you can be

the big f***ing hero?

No! I'm the only

one doing anything!

You don't handle sh*t!

I handle sh*t.

...and I handle sh*t...

What's the plan, Gena?

It doesn't matter!

I'm just telling her

about the f***ing dress.

What happens when all the

f***ing responsibility

comes down on you?

You're gonna call me...

No.

Yeah, you are.

You're gonna call me, and

I'll f***ing handle it

Just like I handled

your abortion,

because I had to

f***ing drive you.

You guys had an

abortion without me?

Okay.

I'm sorry.

No.

Gena, stop.

What is that sh*t?

I-I didn't even get to come?

Clyde, I need you to help me.

Security!

Clyde! Come on.

No, he can't leave.

He owes me $200.

See this?

It's worth a lot

of money, okay?

So don't blow it

all in one place.

See you later.

Whatever.

Wait, Gena!

F*** you!

You're a bad-ass.

Wait! No, no, no, no.

Oh, no.

We're not getting on

the floor tonight. Nope.

We're going... Do I

still look okay?

We're going home now, okay?

She really goes

from 60 to zero.

No, you're not going home.

You said you needed a break.

That was before.

You're not going home.

Joe, take Katie home.

Whoa. Who is Joe?

He's right behind you.

I'm Joe.

Hello.

Here's what's happening.

You're staying with

me, call your friend,

as soon as she picks up

I'll take you right to her.

The most efficient

way of handling it.

Wait, wait, wait. Um... Sorry.

Think I'm gonna be sick...

No, I'm good. I'm good.

She's good!

I'm good.

Okay.

Aw... Young love.

All right. Okay.

Okay.

You wanna throw up?

Here, let me take

you to throw up.

Uh-uh, I'm good.

No, come on. Let's go.

Joe, come here.

What the f*** is

wrong with you, man?

I'm trying to get

you alone with her.

She's GTG, man.

What's GTG again?

Good to go!

She's good to go!

Take her home and slip it in.

I'm not gonna slip it in.

She is wasted,

that'd be like rape.

Slipping it in to a girl

that's about to pass out...?

I'm telling you, take these.

That'll help.

What are these? Are these...

dude, are these

date rape drugs?

They're f***ing Xanax,

dude, for you.

You're f***ing paranoid.

You smoked too much.

Would you relax?

What am I doing?

All right.

I like to see you man up.

Now, do you want Regan,

or do you want Katie?

You can take her.

Katie's hotter.

Yeah. Good call.

Look, she's throwing

up right now,

that's not so hot.

What is wrong with you?

I don't know.

Hey.

Thank you, Joe.

All good?

All right. Yeah. Yeah.

so Joe's going with Katie...

You're going with Joe.

Great. Yeah.

We're GTG, we're good to go.

Okay. Perfect

GTG?

Yeah, GTG what?

Why you stealin' my sh*t?

I didn't hear you say that.

That's my line.

This is the best night

of my life, you guys!

How can you not

have a Metro card?

Uh, because I live

in Los Angeles?

Yeah, but you've been

here for like a day.

Thank you, Gena, for

helping me get out of

that sticky situation

with that wasted stripper

that I could not pay for.

Oh, you're so welcome, Clyde.

Are you kidding?

I could have paid

for the stripper,

if you hadn't taken my wallet.

How long are you gonna

pretend to be mad at me, Gena?

It's starting to

hurt my feelings.

Listen to me.

I've got like mere hours

to get this dress

fixed and cleaned,

and make sure nothing

else happens to it,

so I am so sorry, Clyde,

that your feelings are

not at the top of my list

of things to give a sh*t about.

Wow, so you're

actually mad at me.

That's interesting.

You know what You got

pregnant a long time

- years ago.

And I felt bad

about it ever since.

And you know,

there's this thing,

it's called life, and we

have to get on with it.

We got pregnant.

I took care of it.

You made mix tapes about it.

I-I was 18.

I was 15.

You were 16, and

we were in love.

Remember Fast Times?

Fast Times?

You remember that movie?

Do you remember

who the bad guy was?

It was Damone.

The a**hole didn't show

up for the appointment.

That's you, mother f***er.

I am not I am not Damone!

I'm not Damone!

I can't believe you cannot

see that you are Damone.

Don't call me... dude, don't

call me f***ing Damone...

What do you want me

to do about it now?

I just want you to

help me fix the dress.

I don't want to

have this conversation.

I just want to fix the dress.

And chemo when you're 12 sucks.

Yeah, it's gotta suck.

I mean, 12 sucks in general,

especially when you're a

girl That's when it happens.

When what, when what happens?

You start hating yourself.

Ah, I can't believe

Gena isn't texting me back!

Hey, you know what?

I got an idea.

Why don't you just relax?

Put the phone away.

Doesn't sound like your

friend needs you, anyway.

No, this was a mistake.

I gotta go.

No-no-no-no.

You're not going.

Stay. Come on.

I want to hear about this.

Why do you start to hate yourself?

'Cause, I, I don't know.

Uh, you wouldn't understand

Well, I think,

I think you're unhappy

and you have no reason to be,

and that's what makes

you hate yourself.

Let me guess, psych major.

Psych major with a

lucrative advertising job.

Yeah, yeah, that's good.

Belittle me.

Is that what you

do to your boyfriend?

Does that work for him?

Not really.

I shouldn't have brought it up.

Yeah, but you did.

So probably I would tell

you that you're beautiful

and what you're doing with

retarded kids is amazing.

They have cancer.

Whatever.

I like to compliment a woman

because she deserves it,

not because

she needs attention.

I don't need attention.

Ooh, got off some steam there.

You're mad.

I'm not mad.

Are you kidding me?

You're f***ing livid.

Oh, don't do that.

Just want to give

you what you want.

What do I want?

You want somebody to

put you in your place.

Where's that?

Where do you want it?

Ah! Harder!

Uh, harder!

Shut the F*** Up

Shut the f*** up.

Yeah, you shut the f*** up.

Yeah, shut the f*** up c*nt.

Sh*t! Sh*t, sh*t.

F***. Sh*t, sh*t.

Hey.

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