Back to School Page #5

Atlantic City. The Steel Pier.

I was in the water show.

I used to open

for the diving horse.

You're kiddin'.

I'm from Jersey.

I practically spent

my entire life on that pier.

There was a guy,

did the most amazing dive...

called the Triple Lindy.

Hardest dive

I ever saw in my life.

- Who was that guy?

- Yours truly.

You're kiddin'.

I don't joke about dives.

Especially that one.

It almost killed me.

Boy, you were somethin' else.

Hey, can your kid do that dive?

Nah, nobody can.

It's too dangerous.

You know, he tried out

for the team last semester.

He didn't do that good.

Not that good, huh? Watch this.

Jason, do the two and a half!

Not bad.

My main Melon.

Come on, man...

there's a pep rally

for the football team.

- Let's go. We're there.

- Whoa, wait. What is this?

Me and Standish and Redding

are doing the anti-pep rally...

to point out that a violent

ground acquisition game...

such as football is, in fact...

a crypto-fascist metaphor

for nuclear war.

It sounds like

a lot of laughs...

but I'm supposed

to meet my dad and study.

He's supposed

to be here already.

OK, well...

if you change your mind, pal,

you know where I'll be.

If I change my mind,

I'll seek psychiatric help.

Excuse me.

What is the Oort system

and what does it tell us?

What? I'm sorry.

Astronomy, chapter two.

Oh, Oort, Oort.

Oort was this scientist,

and he figured out...

that the smeared-out density

of matter can be no greater...

than the solar mass

per cubic parsec.

You look thrilled.

It's not my theory.

Thanks, that helps a lot.

Listen, I was

just wondering...

would you do

my astronomy homework...

for the rest of the semester?

- Here you go.

- OK, right.

Hi, Mr. Melon.

Oh, you can call me Thornton.

Say, how about joining me

and my friend over there?

Your friend looks

a little strange.

Who, Lou? Lou's an animal.

Why, in his family...

he's only the second generation

that's standing up straight.

What lovely girls.

How would you like a life

of luxury and deceit?

Come on, join us in a beer. OK?

- Yeah, OK.

- OK.

Girls, this is Lou.

Lou, these are girls.

One, two.

One, two.

Shake it up, baby

Twist and shout

Come on, come on, come on, baby

Come and work it on out

Work it on out, honey

Honey, come here. I need

and also,

bring a pitcher of beer...

every seven minutes

till somebody passes out.

And then bring one

every ten minutes.

You got it. Anyway...

I thought we were gonna go...

to the planetarium

and look at a lot of stars.

I had no idea this was

gonna be astrophysics.

It's not that hard.

You'll get it.

It's not hard for you,

because you're smart.

You're smart, too.

Yeah, but you're, like,

"smart" smart.

Do you study at the library

every night?

No. I was gonna meet

my dad there...

but he must be studying

at the dorm.

Shake it up, baby

Twist and shout

Come on, come on, come on, baby

Come on and work it on out

You know you twist it,

little girl

Lower, baby, lower.

Hey, guys,

let me see some I.D.

Not that low, baby.

Come on and twist a little

closer now

To the left, baby, to the left.

And let me know you're mine

That's the spot, baby.

Hold it, hold it!

Oh, you are there!

Shake it, baby

Shake it, shake it, baby

Come on and shake it,

shake it, shake it, baby

- Shake it now

- Shake it

OK, go ahead.

Jason, what are you doing here?

What am I doing here?

What are you doing here?

We were supposed to study,

remember, in the library?

The library.

I was supposed to be there.

Hey, what's going on?

Chas, check it out.

Hey, Clark.

Interesting little rally

you guys had tonight.

Yeah, right. They got paint

all over my girlfriend.

I'm gonna kill

them little pinheads.

Yeah? Well, you came

to the right place...

because guess who's here...

Derek Lutz.

Hey, Lutz!

You know who I am?

Let me see...

protruding

supra-orbital ridges...

small cranium,

Neanderthal man.

You... I want you

to call his mother.

You tell her

he's never coming home.

Whoa, hold it. You sure

you even got the right guy?

Look how many people

got blue hair these days.

Shut up, meathead.

Take it easy, will ya?

I mean, the war's over.

Get new parts for your head.

Yeah? Want to make

something of it?

Oh, no. I never get physical.

I just get upset...

and when I get upset,

he gets physical.

You got a problem?

No, I haven't got a problem.

Now you do.

Get him!

Lou, where you been?

I'm getting my ass kicked

all over the place!

- Well, you look terrible.

- No, I'm all right.

It's Lou I'm worried about.

He may lose his trigger finger.

It serves you guys right.

Why did you have to take on

the whole football team?

They're not that tough.

The football team

at my high school was tough.

After they sacked

the quarterback...

they went after his family.

This morning we're going to look

at "The Great Gatsby"...

by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Mr. Melon, how would you

characterize "The Great Gatsby?"

Who, him?

No, you.

Me.

Well, "The Great Gatsby,"

he was...

great.

See me after class, Mr. Melon.

I mean, please,

try to understand.

I don't have

the background for this.

The high school I went to...

they asked a kid to prove

the law of gravity.

He threw the teacher

out the window.

I know what I need.

I need a tutor.

What do you say? Come on.

You got some spare time.

All right, Mr. Melon.

I have some spare time

this evening.

Why don't you come around

about 7:
00?

- Great.

- I'll give you my address.

- Thanks.

- Please be on time.

I'll be on time.

What penmanship.

"Everywhere the ceremony

of innocence is drowned;

"The best

lack all conviction...

"while the worst are full

of passionate intensity."

There's a lot

of other stuff here.

Yeats goes on and on...

and here's the finish.

"What rough beast,

its hour come round at last...

"slouches towards Bethlehem

to be born?"

What does that

make you think of?

Rough beast. My ex-wife.

Well, that's

one interpretation.

Not the right one,

but it's a start.

Surely a man of your age

and experience...

must have read some

of the things on my list.

- What about "Macbeth"?

- I saw the movie.

Orson Welles.

Great actor, big actor.

He was a Tall and Fat

customer for years.

How about

"Cat on a Hot Tin Roof"?

I saw the movie. Burl lves.

Great actor, extra stout.

He was a customer, too.

- "Streetcar Named Desire."

- Great movie. Marlon Brando.

He wasn't that big then,

but he ballooned up nicely.

I'd say pound for pound,

our finest American actor.

Don't you ever read?

Who has time? I see the movie.

I'm in and out in two hours.

Oh, Thornton, don't you see?

The reason you want

to read these works...

is so you can experience them

for yourself...

so you can share the thoughts

and feelings of the writer...

without the interference

of your actor and director...

and professor's point of view

getting in the way...

to truly share

and understand...

the common feelings

of all mankind...

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