Bad Ass 3: Bad Asses on the Bayou Page #3

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they were gone.

- (SOBBING) I want my child.

- I know, baby.

Can you give us any type of description?

(SIGHS) Well, I couldn't make out

much in the dark, but, uh...

they had ski masks and, uh...

there was a lot of 'em.

- How many would you say?

- Eight, 10, maybe more.

Come on, man. How could you not know?

Maybe because it was pitch black,

and they all kept comin' at me...

and I didn't have any help, Bernie!

So now you gonna blame me for it, huh?

Okay, gentlemen.

Let's not bicker.

It's not gonna help us get her back.

You are gonna find her?

It's a pretty small town.

239,139 to be exact, Mr. Vega.

Just a tad bit bigger than Mayberry.

DETECTIVE:
Okay, Chief,

I think we got everything here.

Follow up with, uh... Wigram on

them there surveillance cameras.

I'm on it.

Chief Broussard...

I don't want the next time I see my daughter

to be on the side of a milk carton.

You hear me? Now, I don't care what it takes

or how much money I got to spend.

You got to get her back,

and you got to get my daughter back now.

Telephone call for you, Mr. Morgan.

- Hung, now is not the time.

- He says he has Carmen.

- Is he on hold?

- Yes.

We got this thing tracked.

Take the call.

- (BEEPS)

- Hello.

MAN:
Let's cut to the chase, Mr. Morgan.

Five million for your daughter.

You'll have 32 hours...

upon which I'll contact you to reveal

a designated meeting location.

You mess up any of my instructions

and she's dead.

(LINE CLICKS, DIAL TONE)

EARL:
I don't know. It could be anyone.

You know, a black man with money

is not a recipe for popularity.

You know, whoever did this

really planned it out.

This was organized.

Anyone have it out for you

or been following you around?

Of course. I get people all the time

trying to get me to invest in businesses...

or sell this house.

Man, I can't believe this is happenin'.

This is my baby girl. She's supposed

to be gettin' married on Sunday.

(ENGINE STARTS)

Mmm.

Oh. We need your help.

This is a small town. We don't get too many

of these types of crimes around here.

But I know you boys have experience

with this back in LA.

- Uh, not exactly...

- We need your help.

We need you to find Carmen

and bring her back home.

Mrs. Morgan, you have the... the...

The police are on this...

The police aren't going to do anything.

They got their heads so far up their asses

they can't see squat.

We need you two...

if there's any hope in me

gettin' my Carmen back.

RONNY:
Guys!

Guys, look what I found

by the side gate.

- Buford? Who names their kid Buford?

- Let me see.

Ronald found this on

the north side of the estate.

Now, how'd my people overlook this?

Sloppiness really gives me

the mal au ventre.

We'll check into it.

Might be one of my boys.

- Thank you, gentlemen.

- Whoa...

You must have some idea

who's behind this.

Let me tell you something.

This ain't Los Angeles.

This here is Baton Rouge.

We don't go in for that canaille vigilante

crap y'all be pullin' down there.

And if you even think about

gettin' involved in this case...

I hear you put even

one nose hair in this case...

I'm gonna lock y'all up

for the rest of y'all golden years.

You gentlemen enjoy

the rest of y'all afternoon.

Let's go get those son of a b*tches.

- MAN:
(RAPPING) When you hear that

- Bang-bang-bang

- Duck and run for cover

- Bang-bang-bang

- When you hear that

- Bang-bang-bang

- Duck and run for cover

- Bang-bang-bang

- When you hear that

- Bang-bang-bang

- Duck and run for cover

- Bang-bang-bang

- When you hear that, when you hear that

- Bang, bang

- When you hear that

- Bang

- When you hear that

- Bang

- When you hear that

- Bang

Flush 'em out quick

Just like Drano

Keep doing your thing

It's the same old, same old

Might blow the top off

Call it volcano

We in the bayous know Sandro Pedro

Shooting up these suckers

like they're duck hunters

No Toyotas but they forerunners

Beat 'em, rabid fool

Now they all doublers

When it goes off, isn't that how it started?

Dat-dat-dat-dat

A daily combo

running like the capo too

Bam-bam-bam

Fire like charcoal

We soldiers shoulder to shoulder

Pura balacera till it's over

- When you hear that

- Bang-bang-bang

- Duck and run for cover

- Bang-bang-bang

- When you hear that

- Bang-bang-bang

- Duck and run for cover

- Bang-bang-bang

- When you hear that

- Bang-bang-bang

Duck and run for cover

I'm just gonna make this clear

right now. No running.

- What?

- Now, I will do all the ass-kicking you want.

But I'm not chasin' after sh*t.

Such a b*tch.

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)

(CHATTERING)

We're not in LA anymore.

MAN:
(RAPPING) Yeah, yeah

Uh-huh

Whoo, whoo

That's what I'm talkin' about

right there

- This is how we roll

- This is how we roll

Take you where you wanna go

BERNIE:
Whoo!

Goddamn kidney stone's

kickin' my ass again.

You're fallin' apart

piece by piece, chief.

- Hey, good news, I still got my penis.

- (BOTH LAUGH)

Hello there, little lady.

(CLEARS THROAT)

- Come on. Let's go in.

- Yeah.

(MAN:
COUNTRY ROCK) Three hours

back into the swampy woods

I can still see his face

Blood-stained clothes,

covered in mud

Gotta get out of this place

(CONTINUES)

Last time I saw this many

white people in one place...

they set fire to a cross

on my dichondra. (CHUCKLES)

Bernie, it's good for you to get out of your

comfort zone, meet some people.

Ah, not these type of people.

But then, Mama always said,

"Don't be so closed-minded." (LAUGHS)

- (CLATTERING)

- (EXCLAIMING)

(STOPS)

Uh, hello, ladies and gentlemen!

We just wanna ask you...

one question.

Go ahead, Frank.

Oh, uh...

Yeah, we're looking for a Mr. Buford.

Does anybody here know his whereabouts?

MAN:
I do.

Hey... (CHUCKLES)

Hey, fellas. How ya doin'?

Looks like you're healing up

real nicely.

Hell yeah. Much better than y'all did

before we f***ed y'all up.

(ALL LAUGHING)

- Ow!

- (WOMAN SCREAMS)

Take a seat!

Die, a**hole!

Ow! Ow!

Now...

you Q-tip-looking motherfuckers!

I'm gon' ask you one more time!

Where's Buford?

(GROANS)

I said no running.

(SCATTERED MOANING)

Hey. Hey.

Mr. Buford.

Pleasure to make your acquaintance.

- How'd you get in here without your VIP card?

- (WHIMPERING)

- Now, where's Carmen?

- F*** off!

Oh. Oh, okay. F*** off.

(SCREAMS)

Ah-ah-ah-ah! Get the hell back.

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

I don't know, man! I swear to God!

I ain't got access

to the inner circle, man.

Landry does. Landry knows!

- Where can I find this Mr. Landry?

- Downtown, man.

Up the road.

It's on Seventh and Convention.

A big white loft, top floor.

You can't f***in' miss it.

I really wanna thank you

for your cooperation. I mean it.

(BUFORD GROANING)

Ronny. What's up, buddy?

Hey. I was just actually runnin' late...

No, hey, I understand.

You're a busy man.

Got places to go.

He's got deals to make. I get it.

I was gonna ask you a favor as a friend.

My car's in the shop.

I'm gonna borrow yours for a couple weeks.

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