Bag Boy Lover Boy Page #3

I wasn't as lucky as you are

to have somebody take him under his wing.

No, but you see,

I just see so much potential in you, Albert.

Do you know what I mean?

I got this weird sixth sense when it comes to real artistry.

It's spotting a real artist.

My only question is, are you ready?

Ready for what?

Ready for what?

Ready to snort coke off the tits of some model

on the beaches of Saint Tropez!

To go skiing with the jet set in Gestadt.

To go on safari with silicon valley CEOs.

To live the life.

To get the best tables at the best restaurants,

to hemorrhage money.

To get yourself a real place.

To not live like a nobody.

Are you ready for the life'?

I don't know, maybe.

Maybe?

Maybe as bad girl stares at you from the wall,

you're just gonna jerk off to her for the rest of your life?

No.

Or...

Who's the other lady here?

Miss August.

Stare back at you while you jerk off?

Is that all you want out of life?

To be a nobody for the rest of it?

No.

No?

So my question is, can I count on you?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah!

Well then, you know what?

You and I are gonna take a photo,

because this moment must be documented.

Smile.

The f*** are you doing?

I'm making art.

Real art.

Dumb mother f***er.

Get out of here.

I think it's another work of art,

just the way you like it.

Maybe just a little more on the face.

Okay.

How are you doing there, sport?

Yeah, I'm alright, I guess.

You're alright you guess?

You better know, cause I got a really expensive model

waiting on the set for you, okay?

And when you see her, you're gonna get crazy.

Where do you find these models?

Where do I find them?

I book them.

How?

How?

Because I'm...

I'm too modest to say,

maybe you could explain to him how I book models.

I'm one of the city's best photographers, that's how.

He pays them.

A lot.

How would I find models?

Probably the way I did when I was starting out.

On the street, you know?

You walk up to somebody, you charm them a little bit.

You know how to be charming, don't you?

Yeah.

Yeah, you sure do.

Okay, we're ready to go.

Let's go.

Yep, think you're done.

Well, well, well.

She's looking great there, Nancy.

Albert, get on set.

Okay, Albert, say hello to the pretty piggy.

Say hello to that lovely, lovely, pink, little piggy.

Say hi.

Hi.

Hi, I'm Albert, and I love pretty piggies!

Yeah, touch the pretty piggy!

Yeah, you love that, right?

You love, love, love that.

You love that so much

that you want to kill her!

Kill the pig!

That's right, piggy.

You're about to die because butcher Albert's come to town!

The demon butcher of meat street!

Kill that pig!

Yeah, yeah, look at her writhing in pain, oh my god.

This is your destiny, sweetie,

cause this is where you meet the butcher.

You were born to be butchered,

sad destiny of a little piggy.

She never knew it could be this bad.

Oh, it's unbearable, it's unbearable.

That's a sad way for a little piggy

to meet her end, isn't it?

But Albert's a butcher.

You like taking pretty pink flesh,

pretty piggy flesh.

Yeah, that's you, Albert, that's you.

Grab those tongs over there.

Grab the pitchfork, grab the pitchfork.

That's it.

That's a big dildo you've got in your hand there, Albert,

because you're not man enough to use your own cock!

Now take that pitchfork and shove it in her gut!

Who knew you were born to die so young,

so pretty, and so piggy?

And you can spit on him.

Spit on the butcher.

That's it, spit on that filthy f***ing butcher!

He's a piece of sh*t!

This is what he's done to you.

Look at him.

He's a piece of sh*t.

Now drag her over to the grill.

Do it like a man!

That's it, baby, that's it, let her sizzle.

Look at you, you want to turn her into a hot dog,

and then you want to sell it back

to the streets of New York!

Isn't that what you do,

you little demon butcher of meat street?

Look at you, look, she's gonna turn into hot dogs.

Look at that piggy ass.

Let her sizzle.

Then you're gonna eat it,

you're gonna eat it all, aren't you,

cause you're a cannibal.

You're just a filthy cannibal is what you are...

this is unmotivated, Ivan.

I'm a vegetarian, for goodness sakes!

I pose nude for art,

not for this sick perverted idea you have.

Excuse me, you pose because you're paid.

And this is art.

Now get back on the grill.

No.

Would you believe this sh*t?

She's a feisty one.

"Ivan, I need motivation,

I have very high ideals,

and in order for me to bear my breasts to the public,

I have to feel I'm making art,

because otherwise I'll just feel like a cheap whore!"

You need motivation more than a fee we're paying you?

Shut the f*** up.

Let me explain what's going on here.

See, this is a metaphor, right?

That maggot right there?

Yeah, him?

Big head and a skinny little body.

He's a maggot.

He's a parasite.

He feeds on people like you,

and that's all he does, he's just gonna chew, chew, chew, chew.

But you see, you're ruining what I'm trying to do here.

Now I'm not asking you to f*** this monster.

I'm just asking you to present

your pretty pretty pink flesh as fresh meat for him.

That way we get some nice, lovely photos out of it.

Do you understand me?

Is that motivation enough for you?

I'll tell you, some days it doesn't pay, right?

F***.

What's up, Angela?

I'm in the middle of a shoot.

I'm okay, what's going on?

When?

An hour and a half from now?

At JFK?

I need a hair person...

Okay, okay, I'll see you in Milano.

Thank you.

I'm off to Italy.

That's a wrap.

Where the f*** did you get that model we used today?

Oh, come on, you didn't mind it when she was upstairs

with her b*obs in your face...

just hold the magazine and tell them

that that c*nt is not welcome in that studio.

Okay, okay, I'll take care of it.

Take the spare keys,

and I want the studio cleaned, alright,

it's like some misbegotten matadero.

Oh yeah, you gonna pay me more for it?

Jackie, take a hike.

Oh...

I love you, see you.

See when you get back, bye.

You look like a real killer here, kiddo.

You did a good job, should be proud.

I gotta get a f***ing cab to JFK, I'm going to Italy.

Italy, you know, like Europe.

You work hard, you'll get there, too.

You'll see.

You can travel and f*** all over the planet.

What the f***'s the problem dude?

You're gonna get us arrested.

Oh my god, here.

Put this jacket on.

I'm getting a whole new wardrobe when I get to Milano.

You don't need the pocket square,

you don't have that much style.

Oh, here.

This is the money for the shoot.

Get in the cab and follow the one I take,

if it ever f***ing gets here.

Always the days I gotta rush to JFK

that there's not a taxi in front of the building.

Look at this...

In the street, you know?

Walk up to somebody, charm them a little bit.

You do know how to be charming, don't you?

Nice apartment.

It's not an apartment, it's a photo studio.

Is it yours?

Of course.

I want you to pose for me, okay, stand over there.

And lift your arms up.

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