Bamboozled Page #14

92.

DELACROIX (CONT'D)

When I was a little kid, I would

argue with her, "it's on TV." She

would answer "I don't care what's

on that idiot box. No MAN is on

the MOON." Well, there are a lot

of your Negroes just like my Aunt

Sister. Face up to it. The world

has changed and if you don't adapt,

change with it, you will be left

behind. This show is a parody.

Are you telling me that nobody can

use some humor, have some laughs in

their lives? Is that what you're

telling me?

EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT

Mantan and Cheeba gaze skyward at a behemoth billboard for

their show. Some people recognize them and start asking for

autographs and a crowd forms.

ON MANTAN AND CHEEBA

They're enjoying the adulation.

ANOTHER CORNER:

Big Black and the Mau-Mau's also look up at the 2 REAL COONS

billboard. Their faces say they are not happy.

CLOSE ON 2 REAL COONS BILLBOARD

CUT TO:

CLOSE ON AMERICAN FLAG

It blows majestically in the wind.

DELACROIX (V.O.)

When American people want something,

they want it now, they want it big.

NEWSREEL FOOTAGE

Kids swinging in their hula hoops.

DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)

They wanted the hula hoop...

NEWSREEL FOOTAGE

Kids playing with their yo-yo's.

93.

DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)

They wanted their yo-yo's.

NEWSREEL FOOTAGE

A young girl petting her Pet Rock.

DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)

Who could ever forget those lovable

pet rocks.

CUT TO:

INT. TOYS "R" US

Parents are fighting over Beanie Babies. It's a RUCKUS.

DELACROIX (V.O.)

Beanie Babies...

EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT

Mantan and Sleep 'N Eat are doing a tap dance on the GIANT

DIAMONDVISION SCREEN.

DELACROIX (V.O.)

Now the latest, hottest, newest

sensation across the nation was...

CLOSE ON MANTAN AND SLEEP 'N EAT

DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)

BLACKFACE!!!

BLACKFACE MONTAGE

We SEE AMERICANS - young, old, black and white in BLACKFACE.

MANTAN and SLEEP 'N EAT are #1 and #2 in the best-selling

Halloween masks. They fly out of the stores. We SEE Mantan

and Sleep 'N Eat THE DUSKY DUO Action Dolls, backpacks,

lunch boxes, T-shirts, jackets, board games, watches, and

CD-Rom video games. Football players, wrestlers in black

face also.

DELACROIX (V.O.) (CONT'D)

It was the rage.

INT. RECORDING STUDIO

Big Black stands behind 1/16th Black who sits in front of a

laptop computer.

94.

1/16TH BLACK

Big Black, I can't log on the

Mantan Website now, it's overloaded.

DELACROIX (V.O.)

The Mantan - The New Millennium

Minstrel Show at www .n*gger.com was

getting 500,000 hits a day.

BIG BLACK:

Keep trying.

1/16TH BLACK

I'm on it.

INT. CAR DEALER - DAY

A Mercedes-Benz salesman is showing Mantan all the newest,

latest models.

INT. JUSTINE'S RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Mantan and Cheeba sit at a big table with Puff Daddy, Andre

Harrell, Russell Simmons and other assorted RAPPERS.

Everyone is drinking that DOM P. Buxom Hotties sit in

between the BIG WILLIES.

EXT. CNS BUILDING - DAY

A group of protesters led by the REVEREND JESSE JACKSON and

AL SHARPTON carry signs and banners objecting to Mantan.

They're calling upon the FCC to pull the show off the air

and for the boycotting of the show's two sponsors: TIMMI

HILLNIGGER and DA BOMB MALT LIQUOR.

ON PROTESTERS:

The press is watching.

INT. DELACROIX'S OFFICE - DAY

Delacroix has now decorated his entire office with Black

Collectibles Art. WE SEE black jockey lawn pieces, banks,

mammies, signs for products, etc.

ON WINDOW:

Delacroix and Mantan are looking out the office window down

on the protesters.

MANTAN:

Why is Jess and Reverend Al down

there?

95.

DELACROIX:

So they can be on TV.

MANTAN:

You sound like the media.

DELACROIX:

This is nothing. It will blow over

by tomorrow.

MANTAN:

Same thing Giuliani said.

DELACROIX:

Tomorrow it will be all about

cruelty to animals or some sex

scandal. Besides, there is no such

thing as bad publicity.

He hands Mantan a wrapped gift.

DELACROIX (CONT'D)

Rest your mind. It's a little

somethin' something.

Mantan opens it. He pulls out an old pair of tap shoes.

DELACROIX (CONT'D)

Those were the last pair of tap

shoes worn by Bill "Bojangles"

Robinson. In fact, he died with

them on.

Mantan starts to laugh.

DELACROIX (CONT'D)

No joke. Serious.

MANTAN:

Hope the same thing doesn't happen

to me. That's some big shoes to

fill.

DELACROIX:

In time.

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - NIGHT

The Mau-Mau's are in meeting. They all drink 64 ounce

jugulars of Da Bomb, are all attired from head to toe in

TIMMI HILLNIGGER Active Ghetto Wear and brandish their 9's.

BIG BLACK:

That Tom, That Negro...

96.

DOUBLE BLACK:

...that handkerchief head...

BLACK BLACK:

...dancing monkey...

1/16TH BLACK

...Benedict Arnold...

BIG BLACK:

...that simpleton is holding back

the race. They got rid of us and

keep those two buffoons, Mantan and

Sleep 'N Eat, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

HARD BLACK:

Yo, Big Black, Sleep 'N Eat ain't

even a n*gger, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

SMOOTH BLACK:

He's Mexican, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

MO BLACK:

He's Dominican, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

JO BLACK:

He's Peter Rican,

y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

BIG BLACK:

Same thing, y'knowwhatI'msayin',

y'knowwhatI'msayin'!

1/16TH BLACK

We know. We know. Yo, check it,

my black brothers, we can't let

this slide. Not this injustice.

Nah, no way. Dem' two real coons

iz ill.

BIG BLACK:

1/16, tru' 'dat. True 'dat.

DOUBLE BLACK:

Let me gat him.

BIG BLACK:

Nah, too easy, this has to be

symbolic, has to be on the world

stage.

INT. MANTAN'S APARTMENT - CENTRAL PARK WEST - DAY

Mantan is showing Sloan his new residence.

97.

SLOAN:

This is a nice place. It must have

cost a pretty penny.

MANTAN:

Sloan, I got it like 'dat.

SLOAN:

Oh you do, huh?

MANTAN:

Just a little something' somethin'.

SLOAN:

I hope you save a little somethin'

somethin'.

MANTAN:

Gots no intention of ending up broke.

SLOAN:

Y'know, at the beginnin' of the

century, African-American had to

perform in blackface. You ever

heard of Bert Williams? He was a

great artist.

MANTAN:

No, before my time.

SLOAN:

You don't read, do you?

MANTAN:

Never read a book in my whole life.

SLOAN:

Maybe you need to start.

MANTAN:

Maybe I need to do a lot of things.

SLOAN:

Bert Williams and the rest, they

had to black up. They had no

choice. They were considered

3/5ths of a human being. Did you

know that's written in the

Constitution of the United States?

98.

MANTAN:

Why all of a sudden are you flippin'

on me? This blackface thing was

part of the deal from the git-go.

Don't even try to play it like you

ain't a part of all this. You down

with Delacroix.

SLOAN:

I just don't want you and Cheeba to

get hurt.

MANTAN:

We can look out for ourselves.

INT. SLEEP 'N EAT'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Sleep 'N Eat is applying his black face.

INT. MANTAN'S DRESSING ROOM

Mantan also puts on his mask.

INT. STAGE

CLOSE ON HONEYCUTT

HONEYCUTT:

Let's have a warm n*gger applause

for our two favorite coons, Mantan

and Sleep 'N Eat. TWO REAL COONS!

ON AUDIENCE:

The entire audience is in BLACK FACE. They applaud, yell,

cheer wildly. This is becoming a religious cult.

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