Band Aid Page #5

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- Man, I like

writing songs with you.

- I like writing songs with you.

- We're never

done it in the garage.

- I know, it's so hot.

- Let's do it in more weird places.

- It's not that

weird, we own this garage.

- Oh my god.

Oh f***.

Oh my god.

- Sh*t.

- I know, it feels so f***ing good.

- No, no, I'm stuck in a rat trap.

- What?

- My foot is stuck in

one of the glue traps

like a mouse.

- Like a rat trap?

- Yeah.

- It's okay.

Can you push through?

Use your body.

Please keep f***ing me.

It feels so f***ing good.

Oh my god, oh my god.

My foot is going numb.

- Oh my god, that feels so good.

- The whole left side of

my body is going numb.

I'm coming.

Ow, ow.

- We buy kale.

The kale sits in our fridge for a week.

We throw out the kale.

And then we buy that kale again.

- It's all very exciting.

- It's a real...

- It's the kale diaries.

- Look, our people.

- You think they're Jews?

- No, I just mean musicians.

Should we go over there?

- You wanna get into a drum circle

by the farmer's market.

- I don't know.

We should get inspired.

- Okay.

- They look friendly.

- Yeah, all drum circles look friendly.

That's how people end up in them.

- Hi.

- Hi, what's up?

- Nice jam.

- Welcome, hi.

Would you like to take part in

some of our love light today?

- We were just talking about...

- What?

No, we weren't.

- Lover's light.

Yes, we were.

- Why don't you have a seat.

- Okay.

- Join us.

- Okay.

- Okay, you guys'll pick

up the words in no time.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Ikea, Ikea

- I feel like they're just saying Ikea

over and over again.

- Will you please.

Ikea, Ikea

- You don't hear the word Ikea?

Ikea

Ikea

- Thank you.

- That was beautiful.

- Oh, you're welcome.

- What language was that?

- Yeah, was that Sanskrit?

- No, I devised that language myself,

it's called Tuna-Tuna,

while I was studying abroad.

- Tuna-Tuna.

- Tuna-Tuna is the name of the language

that you devised.

- Was that

in India, or?

- No, no, close.

Barstow Community College.

- I'm sorry.

He was just...

- Jesus.

- What do you want me to do?

- I've never,

I haven't seen you like that.

- I mean, I got hot and bothered.

- Yeah, I was bothered.

- I know, you were less hot.

Wait, oh my god.

Look, it's a sign.

- Like, from the universe,

it's a sign or like a...

- Well, I was saying it is,

it's also a literal sign.

But it is, that's a sign.

- Should we play that show?

Okay.

' Okay.

- Here goes nothin'.

You ready for it?

- Am I ready for it?

- Yeah.

- I can't believe you're askin' me that.

Since when have you been

afraid of doing mushrooms?

- I'm not afraid of doing

mushrooms, I've just,

I've never done them with a task at hand.

- I mean, I just think it's gonna help us

with our creative process.

- Yeah, you think so?

- We gotta get some songs out.

- Okay.

- Okay, ready.

L'chaim.

- Terrible.

- They're mellow, though.

- Oh good.

- These ones are mellow.

- Good.

I got an idea.

Where's my notebook?

- What?

- I have a song idea,

I wanna write it down.

- Okay.

- Hurry up, I don't want it

to pop out of my head.

- Okay, okay, okay.

- Anna.

Anna.

- What?

- Where's my notebook?

Hurry up, I'm losin' the melody.

- Here's your notebook.

It's just so crazy

how the birds just love my chips.

- Get right up next

to them, they whisper.

And I also love chips,

but I never just go eat the chips.

And that's why I love you birds.

Because you just go whenever you want it.

And you get it.

Hi.

- I just wrote the most beautiful song.

I can't remember the lyrics.

Do you remember the first line?

- I didn't write it.

- I know, but we came up with it together.

- You came up with it.

' It...

- I don't know the lyrics.

- Babe, you remember, it was

about something like a dog?

- Maybe you wrote it down somewhere.

- Um, yeah, he did.

He actually did.

He recorded it telepathically

onto a sandwich.

- The lyrics are in my blood.

- Which he then ate.

No, the drugs are in

your blood, the lyrics

are like.

- You wanted to take drugs.

- Oh my god, that's so classic,

to turn this around on me.

- I'm turning it around?

- Yeah.

- You're turning it around on me.

You wanted to take drugs,

it didn't work out,

and now you're acting

like a b*tch.

- It didn't work out?

Did you just call me a b*tch?

- No, I said you're acting like a b*tch.

- What kind of man calls

their wife a b*tch?

- Why do you have

to question my manhood?

And what's...

- Because what kind of man

calls a woman a b*tch.

- You call me a dick

all the time,

why can't I call you a b*tch?

- Oh my god.

That's so lame.

- Why is that lame?

- Um, I'm gonna go for now.

- No.

- No.

- Just sit down for a second.

- Dave, sit down, please.

Just give us one minute.

- Why don't I give you some privacy,

and I can...

- That's definitely

not what we want.

- We don't need any privacy.

This is not a private matter.

- No.

You leave, this gets real, so let's just,

we're gonna just push through.

- Can I get some air?

- No, you can't get air when...

- Air?

- There's open air everywhere.

- We're in a garage!

- What more air do you need?

- Great, I'll just.

- Dave, please.

- Why?

- Just give us a second.

- We need to finish

this for one second.

- Why?

Because I'm being held hostage,

so I'm just gonna play.

- Dave, come on, man.

- That's so annoying.

- Just play something then.

I'm not stopping.

' Play a song.

I'm in no mood for your mood

I'm in no mood for your mood

So take your attitude

Is this what it means to be a dude

That you could ever speak so lewd

You're f***in' lazy and you're crude

You better change your attitude

Is this what comes with havin' b*obs

Always obsessin' over food

You get so hangry and so rude

You better change your attitude

Up here.

And then we fight, fight

Fight, fight, fight, fight

And then we fight about the fight, fight

Fight, fight, fight fight

I'm acting calm and you're uptight

You're the dark and I'm the light

You're so wrong and I'm so right

I'm so right

Well, now my head is f***ing spinning

But I can't give up on winning

- Well, we owe you a big thank you, Dave.

- Yeah, big ups to Dave.

- Big ups to Dave.

Bless up, Dave.

- All right, let's

do this open mic, dogs.

- Hey, we gotta leave

in like seven minutes.

- I know, I'm hustling.

I just gotta,

okay.

- What?

- Nothing.

- It's not good?

- No, it's great.

You look

beautiful.

- Thanks.

- You're welcome.

- You don't look too bad yourself.

You think, though, it's

too heteronormative?

It's so gendered, it's like,

should we swap outfits?

- God no.

- Especially in this clay and age,

you don't wanna be like, well...

- I don't wanna wear a dress.

- I'm the man,

and I'm the woman.

- Don't make me wear a dress

tonight, please.

- Okay.

- Do you think it's too on-the-nose

that we're making Dave dress like a baby?

- I don't think that's the problem.

No, I think that drives it home.

It's very, I think it's subtle.

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