Band Aid Page #6

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Okay, it's go time.

Do you have everything?

- I have picks and...

- Your wallet?

- My wallet and keys.

Coming, Dave.

Hey buddy.

- What, where's your onesie?

- I thought you were

Dave the Baby Drummer.

- I'm turning over my sticks.

- What?

What is this?

- I can't make it to the open mic tonight.

Or, really, any night.

I have to quit the band.

- Why?

What are you talking about?

- What?

- I thought it would be really great

to get to know you guys,

and for you guys to get to know me.

You wouldn't think this,

but aside from Crystal and Cassandra,

I don't have too many friends.

- Right.

- Really?

- Yeah, that is surprising.

- When my parents got divorced,

it was really hard on me as a kid.

And I think that's where my

sexual addiction started.

Okay.

- Do you understand what I'm saying?

So, I'm reliving it.

Day after day.

You can't stop fighting.

I mean, I spent my whole childhood trying

to save my parents' marriage.

I don't wanna spend my

adulthood trying to save yours.

I'm really sorry.

I can't do the show.

I'm sorry.

It's gonna be a great show anyway.

- Is this for real.

- Dave, these are your sticks.

I feel it

It feels so good to be home

- F*** man, I cannot believe it.

- I know, it's so crazy.

- We need Dave.

We can't do this.

- Whoa, tiger.

Slow down.

- Ah Sh*t.

Grace gave me some

sort of muscle relaxants,

but I don't feel them at all.

Like, they are not working.

- Muscle, what are you doing

taking muscle relaxants?

- I don't know.

- You barely have any muscles.

- I needed to calm down.

- Look, this is just you and

me in our garage, jammin'.

There's no difference.

I mean, yeah,

it's room full of young,

judgemental 20-somethings,

staring at our every breath.

But besides that, it's the same thing.

- Looks like you two are up.

- Okay, great.

Salud.

- L'chaim.

- Oh my god, I'm gonna hurl.

- No hurling, no hurling, come on.

- Hold on.

- Let's just go up there,

and show these young f***in'

d*ckheads what we're made of.

- Okay-

- All right, hi.

All right.

One, two, a one, two, three, four.

- Hold on, I gotta adjust

my mic for one second.

- She's just adjusting her mic, sorry.

Whoa, what are you doing?

- I can't, I gotta adjust it.

- What is wrong with you?

What's happening?

- Hold on, I think I just

want it out of the stand.

- You can't have it

out of the stand.

- Yeah,

'cause I wanna be able to...

- How can you play with

having it out of the stand?

- I need to be able to move.

- You're a bass player,

you don't need to move.

Oh god.

Did that hurt?

- F***.

Yes, it hurt.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine, just

put it back on and let's...

- Okay, but hold on.

But lookit, I wanna do one trick.

Can you look at the audience?

- What sort of trick?

- Look at the audience for one sec.

Watch, watch.

- What are you doing?

Okay, please just.

- It was like the balls

were on your forehead,

but it was the mic.

- Are you ready?

- Go ahead.

- Are you ready to play?

- Hold on.

Hold on, yeah.

- Sorry about that.

One, two, a one...

- Oh.

What?

Oh.

Oh! oh! oh, Oh, Oh.

I can fit this whole thing in my mouth.

- Do you wanna play the song?

- Huh?

Oh, oh, ow.

- You're embarrassing me.

- I'm embarrassing you?

You should be proud.

That's what every husband

wishes their wife would do.

- Oh my god.

- Who are you winking at?

- That was,

that was a click suck joke, guys.

But it's actually not a,

if you wanna be honest,

it's not a talent of mine.

- Go home.

' Oh god.

- I wouldn't stress about it.

It was just a minor setback.

- I'm such an idiot.

Just, the second I decide to commit

to something I'm passionate about,

I always seem to just f*** it up.

- Can you do me a favor,

and can we not talk about

your failed book deal

while we're dealing with

stuff about us?

- What?

- Can you not talk about

your failed book deal

when we're dealing with stuff

that's about us?

- What are you talking about?

I didn't even mention my book deal.

- Come on.

That's where you always go.

- Jesus.

What are you...

- It doesn't seem...

- So angry about?

- Like an outlandish request.

It's just seems like

something totally normal.

- Where is this coming from?

- It's not coming from anywhere.

I just don't wanna talk

about the f***ing book deal.

- Well, I got it.

You already f***ing said that.

Jesus.

F***in' Aggro Man.

- You know what.

- Mr. Aggro,

f***ing flying in...

- We don't...

- Just ruining relationships.

- We don't have to do this

like this anymore.

- Do what, what, do what?

- Fight like this.

If we're gonna fight,

why don't we sing our feelings?

- I don't know, I'm not singing.

- Why?

- I'm sorry.

- Don't patronize it.

- No, I just can't.

- It's just, we know what happens

when we have a regular fight.

We've done this.

- I'm not, I'm not doing that though.

Sorry.

Please don't bring up the book deal

- Oh god.

You know this isn't about the book deal

- Really, why not?

I mean, it's

clearly the cross I bear.

It's why I'm...

- I don't hear anything...

- So f***ing paralyzed.

- Unless you sing it.

You have to sing it.

- This is so stupid, dude.

I'm not singing.

- You hang on to that f***in'

book deal for dear life.

And you and I both know that that

is not the thing that is paralyzing you.

- Really?

Okay, well.

That was my fault, too, so.

- Sing it.

- I'm not singing about that, Ben.

I don't even wanna talk

about it.

- I don't wanna talk

about it either.

You had a miscarriage.

That does not make you a failure.

- Does it make me a success?

- Sing.

- I'm not singing about it.

- Sing about your miscarriage.

- Is this a joke to you?

- This is the furthest thing...

- Please, I...

- From a joke to me.

It's the one thing that

we don't talk about.

And so I don't know how else to...

I:

I failed as a woman

What happened is totally human

Let's see this through.

Okay?

You're out of your own

way when you're up there.

It's exciting.

It's exciting for me to watch you.

It's exciting for you to do.

And we have something to share.

We're doing it together.

- No, I know, I like that.

- So, it's a small hiccup.

We go, we f*** up, we

try it again, we learn.

- Yeah, I know, but I don't like that.

The middle part, the...

- It's all part

of the process.

- The f*** up.

- It's part of the process.

- I know.

But it's just that, the

failing makes you a failure.

- I don't think so.

Failing makes you an artist.

- Okay.

' Hey.

- Hey Dave.

- Hi guys.

- Look, we heard everything

you said the other night.

- Yeah, and we're gonna

change, we promise.

- We need you in our band.

- No more fighting?

- No more fighting.

- Except in our songs.

- Which are all fights.

- To avoid really fighting.

- Yeah.

- Do I still have to dress like a baby?

- No.

- No.

- No, in fact, I actually,

I think this look works.

- Yeah.

- You like this?

- I love this.

- Yeah.

- I don't know what, where it came from.

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