Barbershop Page #3

And there go the picture to prove it.

- How do we know that's really Payton?

- That's Walter. That's him.

The signature say "Sweetness".

What more do you want?

- I don't know. A real picture?

- That's Sweetness all right.

What'd you do? I got a patch in my head.

All them patches.

I told you to keep your head still.

Look over there. He cut a patch in the

boy's head. Lookin' like 101 Dalmatians.

You ever heard of that movie? That's 102.

- Why don't you mind your business?

- I didn't move my head!

- I'll take care of it.

- Ain't takin' care of a thing.

- Man, wait till my mom gets here.

- I've got it.

Jimmy, what you doing?

That little boy look like a leopard.

He need to cut little spots all around,

and have him...

How's everybody doin'?

My bad.

It's OK. It's OK.

Clean you up or somethin'?

- How you doin', Mr Wallace?

- How you doin'?

Thanks for comin' by.

You wanna go in the back and talk?

- Yeah.

- All right.

- Eddie.

- Nigga.

I'm glad you called me back. I was

beginning to think you don't like Lester.

Heard you bought Big Carl's auto shop.

Left everything the same.

- Was hopin' you'd do the same here.

- I told you. I'm a man of my word.

You know, Calvin,

if you can't make the payments,

you're gonna lose the shop

and have nothing.

Or, if you sell it to me,

you make sure that the sign outside on

that window always says "Barbershop".

I can live with that.

If you take this money,

that's as good as a contract.

I wouldn't wanna have any

misappropriations goin' on up in here.

Yeah. Me neither.

You know, I made your father

the same offer, but he turned it down.

But you're a better businessman.

You got vision.

20 G, that's your buyout.

I'll take over the bank payments.

And I'll get the paperwork

to you next week.

You sure you're gonna keep

the barbershop open?

I'm a businessman.

And a barbershop ain't a cash cow. So

I'm gonna turn it into a gentleman's club.

Wait a minute. That's not what

we discussed, Mr Wallace.

You told me that the sign outside

would always say "Barbershop".

It will. It's gonna be called

"The Barbershop".

I'm gonna keep that same theme.

Girls dressed up like barbers.

You can come in and they'll give you

a trim. And you can get some trim.

Hold it, Mr Wallace.

Mr Wallace!

You have a nice day.

I don't understand why someone

would drive into the store like that.

Now, see, I told Sitting Bull

across the street over there

not to put no cash machine in his store,

cos black people don't know how to act.

That's why black people

can't have nothin'.

- Apparently, neither can Indian folks.

- Samir is not Indian. OK?

He's Pakistani. He's from Pakistan.

All I know is he can pack and stand

his ass on that corner all he want to,

but if Geronimo keep on,

somebody liable to bust a cap in his ass.

You're right, Eddie.

Samir is not Native American. He's not

Arab. He's not Mexican. He's not Eskimo.

- He is from Pakistan.

- Pakistan, Yakistan, Youbackistan.

He ain't from around here. And he ain't

goin' nowhere in this South Side, either.

Boy, what's wrong with you?

- He cut a patch in the back of my head.

- Sorry. He kept moving, so...

I did not keep moving.

Bless her.

- You know you kept moving.

- What you talkin' about?

It don't look that bad.

Just think of it as a new style.

Before you know it everybody gonna be

walkin' around with a patch in their head.

Why would people

be walkin' around with a patch?

So that makes it free. Right?

Ain't that right? Right?

OK.

Jimmy will never touch

your head again. I promise.

C'mon, man. This thing heavy, dog.

- My phone ringing.

- JD.

- What?

- Would you please back up?

- My bad.

- Thank you. I couldn't breathe.

Get in there.

Hold it. Is that that punk Jay?

- Jay! You all right?

- My foot!

Come here, you punk.

I'm gonna get your black ass.

Billy!

Get up. Get up.

Come here.

Billy!

What the hell you doin', man?

You just let him get away.

He owe me five dollars from a crap game.

- I ain't paying you nothin'.

- What?

Billy! Billy, bring your ass back over here.

C'mon, bring your ass back over here.

Five dollars? You gonna cause

a scene in public for five dollars?

- He owe me money.

- We got $50,000 back at the motel.

You gonna cause a scene, man,

for five dollars? Five dollars?!

It ain't about the money. It's the principle.

- What?

- He owe me money, he supposed to pay.

This Chi-Town's finest.

I ain't going out like no sucker.

- You ain't going out like no sucker?

- No.

You know what? We're gonna get caught.

- You wanna know why?

- Why?

Cos there's a stupid n*gger in every bunch

that mess it up. And you know what?

You that dumb n*gger.

You know what? If he owed you

some money, you'd be chasing him too.

I would have whupped his ass last week.

- What you mean?

- Sh*t.

What? Keep it moving.

Ain't nothin' to see here.

C'mon, man. I lost my head.

But you understand? Money is money.

I'm telling you,

they got about 15 or 20 Gs in that ATM.

I read the machines are worth more.

There may even be a reward.

- For an ATM machine?

- I wish the money in it was mine.

I'd use that money. I'd take my girl out

to a real nice dinner. Like Red Lobster.

- That's upscale.

- Red Lobster is the IHOP of shellfish.

Don't hate cheese toast just cos I'm eating

scampis and shrimps and scallops.

You are ignorant. A scallop ain't

even a shellfish. You know that?

- Did you know you get on my nerves?

- Condoms. Pampers if you're too late.

- What's with the dogs?

- Get them out.

- You like dogs.

- Don't make me smack you.

- I told you once.

- I know y'all need dogs.

- If you buy this one, this one's half off.

- Don't come back, man.

Never coming in this shop again.

I work for me.

- Calvin, what's that boy's name?

- That's Ricky.

Ricky? Ricky?

- What?

- What you doing?

Tryin' to get him clean,

like them commercials.

That's the problem with y'all today.

Y'all know nothin'.

You just watch too much TV

and listen to that Jigga Ray and all them

folk and their hippity-hoppity nonsense,

and don't know nothin'.

Sir, you mind?

Rick, get that off there and lean him back.

Lean him back right there.

- Roots, get me a hot towel.

- Dinka, Eddie. Dinka.

These young boys don't know nothin'.

Let's get you lathered up here.

Put that towel on his face.

Get your foam nice and lathery.

Y'all come here and learn somethin'.

You finish that up.

Put that on there, Ricky.

See, in my day, a barber

was more than just somebody

that sit around in a FUBU shirt

with his drawers hanging all out.

In my day, a barber was a counsellor.

He was a fashion expert.

He was a style coach. Pimp.

Just general all-around hustler.

But the problem with y'all cats today

is that you got no skill.

No sense of history.

And then, with a straight face,

you got the nerve to wanna be somebody,

want somebody to respect you.

But it take respect to get respect.

Understand?

See, I'm old but, Lord willing,

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