Barbershop Page #4

I'll be spared the sight of seeing

everything that we done worked it for

flushed down the drain by someone

who don't know no better, or care.

Calvin? Can we talk in the back?

That's smooth. When he get through,

his face'll be smooth, like Gary Coleman.

- Calvin, what's going on?

- What d'you mean?

- Janelle saw Lester Wallace in here.

- Janelle won't stay outta my business.

Since when did you start

doing business with a loan shark?

Lester Wallace is not a loan shark.

He's just a businessman from the street.

Baby, why was he here?

To get a haircut.

Calvin, Lester Wallace wears a hairpiece.

He had to get that faded a little, so I...

No? Let me show you something.

I'm gonna show you somethin'

that's gonna make you much happier.

Check it out.

- What did you do?

- I sold the barbershop.

You sold your father's barbershop

to Lester Wallace? Don't "sshh" me.

We're trying to get

our recording studio off the ground.

Have you forgotten?

You almost electrocuted yourself.

What matters is, I made this move for us.

- Us?

- Yes.

Tell me, why is it you make

all these spontaneous decisions,

and then we gotta get us out of it?

I had to do something

to get the monkey off our back.

But, listen, your grandfather

opened this shop.

He handed it down to your father,

who left it to you.

And all he did was

give away free haircuts.

Now they want freebies now.

He let all those barbers use their stations

and pay rent whenever they wanted to.

And we in debt because of that.

It's because of him.

I'm not gonna work my ass off for that.

What they sayin'?

Something about a monkey coming back,

but his ass has too much pressure.

You deserve more.

I'm tryin' to give you the world.

I don't need the world, Calvin.

I don't need Oprah's house.

It's not Oprah's.

It's Stedman's guesthouse.

It's a five-bedroom,

four-and-a-half bath, with...

Calvin, listen.

This shop had very little debt

until you spent the money

on those get-rich-quick schemes.

It's my fault?

Let me hear you say it. It's my fault?

- It's your fault.

- How? I'm just tryin' to better myself.

Wait a minute. I see what this is about.

This is about you.

- OK.

- No.

- Yeah.

- No.

You know what? Think about it,

how could you sell this place?

I met you here. My father used to come

here every Saturday. He loved this place.

You used to love it, too. What happened?

You know what?

This is too much for me right now.

You're gonna send me

into premature labour.

I cannot believe

you sold your father's shop.

Still couldn't hear nothin'.

Help me with this shoe.

From the heel. From the heel, dog.

Let the toe go!

- Pull the sock off.

- Are they clean?

They my mama's socks.

You know, we wear the same sized shoe.

Damn! You need a Band-Aid.

I'll go get that for you.

No. Hey, no. I'll go get the Band-Aid,

cos you can't seem to do nothin' right.

All right? You just stay here,

work on the ATM.

Damn. Your foot jacked up.

That ain't nothing but some dead skin.

All I need is some cocoa butter.

I can get that. Excuse me, dog.

OK, man. Are we straight or what?

- Next.

- Hold on, man.

- 20 bucks.

- All right.

Here's a little somethin' extra

for Johnnie's shoe fund. Take care.

- Yo, wait.

- Hook me up.

- I was next.

- I was here earlier.

Wait. Lamar, you got any money?

- I got your money.

- I got money, too.

- I'll do you next.

- What?

Sit over there, fish. I'll do you next.

Either that, or go see Eddie.

- I'm busy.

- I don't wanna see Eddie.

Come on. You know I got stuff to do.

Get these nose hairs for me.

Nose hairs, huh? You ain't got my money,

I'm gonna get them ass hairs.

I hear Evander Holyfield's

gonna put a Red Lobster in a church.

- How's he call himself a man of God?

- You right.

When he's in Georgia slingin'

his thing through half the state!

I'm willing to bet that y'all didn't know

Jesus wasn't a Christian. He was a Jew.

- Hey, Jimmy?

- Yo?

Why you always throw out trivia

like you know everything?

I'm just sayin' that being educated

guarantees I won't end up in jail, unlike...

So that's what this is about?

Me bein' in the pen?

- I'm sayin'...

- You're not talkin' about me?

I'm just sayin', education

means you have opportunities...

And the rest of us are doin' what?

What we doin'?

Can you guys stop arguing for once?

You're like a bunch of kids.

Back and forth, back and forth.

I'm getting a headache.

I'm not gonna get worked up. This is not

the end of the line for Jimmy James.

- Well, leave.

- You can do worse than be a barber.

- Yeah, and a lot better.

- That's the look right there.

- You're a black Picasso.

- Barber's a respectable occupation.

I'm gonna have my own mural,

my own shop.

I might even take over this shop

if Calvin don't give it to his own son.

- You will never own a black barbershop.

- I will if I want to.

If Tony Roma can make ribs better than

blacks, Isaac can own a barbershop.

Ribs better than black people?

You want some good ribs,

you should go to C&K on 75th.

Tony Roma boils his ribs.

That is not authentic.

Tony Roma's is delicious.

I don't see white or black.

I just see red sauce on everything.

You new here.

- He don't boil his ribs.

- I like them.

Jimmy got a point. Because nobody here

wanna be a barber for the rest of their life.

Thank you. That's all I'm sayin'.

- I like cutting hair.

- A barber is a craftsman.

It's respectable. I must admit, I like it.

So I guess I agree with Terri.

- You agree with everything Terri say.

- Watch it, Jimmy.

- You a hater.

- No, I'm not.

- Hey, Lamar.

- Run!

Hey, Lamar. Don't bring

your skinny ass back.

See that? That's why you can't have

no business in the ghetto.

You must not know me.

I'm Chi-Town's finest.

I'll whup into you like that.

I'm gonna have to poke ya.

I think I got it.

Just give us the money.

What's my mama's code?

Thank you, cutie.

You're welcome, my beautiful black sister.

I got an announcement to make.

I bought some more apple juice.

I want nobody in here to drink it.

Have some respect and decency

for other people's stuff.

- What you lookin' at me for?

- You drank my juice.

- Did you see me drink it?

- I don't care. I'm being nice right now.

Don't touch my juice

or there will be repercussions.

- Repercussion my nuts.

- Grow some.

You heard her.

Barbershop.

Terri, it's Kevin.

- I'm not here.

- What?

- I'm not here.

- I know you heard that.

All right.

Hold on. Let's kill all this applause.

We all know that she's gonna go

runnin' back to him, like she always do.

Don't make me run

these clippers up your ass.

She told you.

T, you all right?

- I should thank you.

- For what?

This morning,

I made such a spectacle of myself.

But your words were kind.

I believe they were "Stay strong, brother."

Somethin' like that. How much?

For one brief embarrassing moment,

I chose to give up.

But your words were

just the reminder I needed.

Perhaps insignificant to you,

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