Barbershop Page #6

Jesse, Randy, Tito, Freddie, Action -

I'll take 'em all on.

Man, I love this place.

Man, you got to have it with you.

Calvin, where you goin'? You can't

just walk past me like you don't see me.

Yo, Calvin. I'm talking to you, dog.

You can't just walk past me.

What you? Magic Juan or somethin'?

- Is Mr Wallace in there?

- He here.

I lead. You follow.

OK. Lead.

Two steps, motherf***er. Two steps.

You know, Calvin,

I have never come across anybody

just wantin' to give me my money back.

The whole thing frankly

vexes me, to be honest.

I swear to God, Mr Wallace,

I'm not tryin' to vex you.

I don't even know what that mean.

I done had a change of heart.

I had all day to think about it.

If I'm gonna lose my shop,

I don't wanna lose it this way.

Which way is that?

So my money ain't

good enough for you, huh?

I'm just some old street dude, is that it?

Walk your black ass

into some white man's bank,

and you'll find out

that I'm the only friend you got.

Now, on the subject of the money

I gave you this morning.

The money is yours. The shop is mine.

But, you know, I'd be willing

to call off the whole deal

if you were to get me

my money by, say seven o'clock?

Sev...? No problem. I can do better

than that. Give it to you right now.

40 G.

But you only gave me 20.

That's double.

You expect me to pay you double

by seven o'clock?

- C'mon, Mr Wallace.

- Get outta my office.

Here go your money back. I'm putting

it right here on the table for you.

I'm sorry about any misunderstanding.

If I led you on in any kinda way, I'm sorry.

But I can't sell my shop to you.

Calvin. Calvin! You forgot somethin'.

- That don't belong to me.

- What?

- I don't want it. Keep it.

- You gonna take this money.

How you gonna renege? Man. Hey, hey.

- You keep it.

- You forgot something.

- No!

- Take this money!

- Take it!

- I don't want it!

Do I look like Barry Sanders?

Lawrence Taylor?

- I don't want it!

- Shut up. I got a job to do.

And you ain't allowing me to do it.

What is wrong with you? Got me runnin'

all over the goddamn place.

This money is yours. You hear me?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

My grandmama home. Wooh!

Girl, you got a great future behind you.

Sh*t. Sh*t.

Sh*t.

That's us. We gotta go.

Forget about the cash.

Damn. You gotta buy lunch.

I don't have any money.

The machine broke, y'all.

I said, the machine broke!

Wait. I'm sorry I messed up

your flowers and everything.

They were real pretty.

- You talking to me?

- You're the only one standin' here.

Yes. Yes, this is true. This is true.

And the card, what it said,

that was pretty, too.

You wrote that yourself?

No, no.

Actually, that's a love poem

by a man named Pablo Neruda.

He knows what to say.

Got me feelin' all gentle.

So, Terri, I know you have

a boyfriend and everything,

but, you know,

I was wondering, maybe we could... you...

- Kevin.

- Kevin?

Hey, baby. Excuse me, bro.

These are for you.

We need to talk.

Hold on. Supersize-Me Mandela,

you wanna get up off my neck?

- Kevin.

- Hold on. You don't understand English?

Stop.

Be gone, Mandingo.

I'm talking to my lady.

- Kevin, look...

- Can you believe Shaka Zulu?

I need to say something. I don't know

exactly what I'm trying to say...

Terri, Terri. I love you.

- Bullshit.

- You know that.

Everybody up in here knows this.

So, look...

Why don't we just go outside,

talk about this?

C'mon.

No. I can't do this no more.

- Do what?

- This. Us. This game.

- I ain't playin' games.

- Let's just move on.

So what? You gonna break up with me?

You're breaking up with me?

I mean, look at you. You ain't even

all that fine. You're just average.

I didn't mind at first, cos you was good in

bed and do that thing, but I can find better.

I didn't mean that. I want you. Look, let's...

You are sorry.

You're so sorry.

Leave. Get out.

- Don't put your finger in my...

- Leave.

Out! Clown.

I'll get my blade.

Yeah. I'm gonna cut me

somebody up in here.

Get him on outta here.

Almost messed up my partin'.

Damn!

Damn! Damn!

- Ray Ray?

- It's me.

I didn't know you was cleanin' the street.

- What you got?

- Nothin'.

- Do you and "nothing" need a ride?

- Yeah.

Bring that nothin' on. C'mon.

Can you see all right? I'll watch out

on this side. Right round the corner.

- Thanks.

- OK. Jalen, you take care.

Good to have you here in Chicago.

Welcome to the Bulls. Michael who?

- See you on SportsCenter.

- See y'all soon.

If he can't be the best,

he can go to hell, too. All right.

They're gonna be good.

What the hell you lookin' at?

I'm curious. I been gettin' my hair cut

here ever since I was a kid,

and I ain't never seen

nobody in your chair.

I got customers.

You just come on the wrong day.

Monday to Saturday.

Which leaves Sunday, when we're closed.

- Don't worry about it.

- Terri, can you hook me up like Iverson?

Cos you know that's my dog.

Boo. Fade away, booya.

- What you laughin' at?

- Don't hate on me cos you're a sellout.

- What was that?

- You heard me.

You got the black girlfriend,

and I'm a sellout?

You're a minstrel show turned on its ear.

Al Jolson in a FUBU hat.

Black face for the new millennium.

Could you hook me up with

your girlfriend's white girlfriends?

How come the only thing

you talk about is me?

Cos you don't belong here.

The white barbershop is uptown.

You know what I think?

You wish you were me.

Wish you had my girlfriend

and my pimped-out ride.

You even wish you had

my clothes, my style, my walk.

Why d'you think my girl ain't with you?

Cos your b*tch-ass can't compete.

I got news for you, white boy.

You're not black.

Jimmy, I'm blacker than you. And in

your best day, you could never be me.

Man. You gonna take that?

- Turn it up.

- Here's Marvin.

Stupid.

- Rufus, what you gonna gimme for it?

- That piece of junk barely run.

It run. It's the hottest thing on the street.

All the youngsters askin' about this car.

Cutlass Sierra? All it need is a little paint

and a tune-up cos it backfires that much.

A little? Every time you go home,

I think I'm in a drive-by.

I can't put that on my lot.

I got a reputation to think about.

You understand?

I don't understand.

- Thanks.

- I got that plate number.

And there were a bunch of people lined up

at an ATM outside Poppy's Liquor Mart.

So?

It just showed up, and then it was gone.

Let's go. Come on.

I heard on BET we supposed

to make some money.

- Black people gettin' reparations.

- Everybody here would love a hand-out.

If they handin' it out, I ain't gonna

turn down nothin' but my collar.

Pay up.

Not everybody think reparations

is a good idea. Reparations is stupid.

I'm surprised you say that. I figured

you'd say how slavery got y'all oppressed.

Givin' out money wouldn't do nothin'.

Look at Hammer.

That boy ain't doin' nothin' now

but infomercials.

Slavery, it ruined my whole life.

I ain't taking no reparations cos, as a

black man, I got my pride and my dignity.

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