Barney Thomson Page #5

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I tel! You something.

I won't cry at all.

Until it happens. Folks.

I guess H! Sail with the tide.

And I know...

Mrs. Gaffney!

Is it'?

Have you been here

since the party?

Come on, I'll take you back.

I'll just go

to the toilet first, son.

No, no, no, no!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, new...

I-I I'll see you.

I think your pal's

ready for his bed.

That's right, there you are.

F*** me.

Ah.

Sorry, Chris.

What the f***'?

Oh...

Oh, f***ing hell.

Oh, Mummy.

Montrose.

Pitlochry.

Arbroath.

F***.

What do you Want'?

"Mature woman looking for

unbridled passion?"

Do you mind saying that

again in English, sir'?

I can't understand

a word you're saying.

Yeah, I realize you're Scottish.

I know I'm up here.

Why are you here'?

Thomson told us

Henderson had

a gambling problem,

and he was in a lot of debt.

Now, I've just spoken

to six bookies

from the local area,

and not one of them has said

that Henderson bothered him.

So, that means

Thomson's lying, right'?

He's turning shitting himself

into an art form.

Yeah, well, I'd sh*t myself

if every time I turned round,

I saw your f***ing

big Cockney face

staring back at me.

Just-forget Barney Thomson!

This is not

a barber-based crime!

And give me the phone.

Get out there and check on

the missing persons

like I ordered you to!

Give me my phone back.

I need it.

You've got your own phone.

I need two.

Sir!

We've just had a report in,

another missing person.

F*** 'em.

Sir, it's one of

the other barbers.

From that same barbershop.

That guy called Porter.

Well.

Have you mentioned this

to Strap-One-On Robertson'?

I was just about

to tell her, sir.

Good.

Right, son,

let's go and interview

the demon barber of Bridgeton.

The next train to depart

from the rear of Platform 5

will be the 17:
12

first rail service to Girvan

calling at Barrhead. Dunlop.

Stewarlon. Kilmaurs. Kilmamock.

Troon, Prestwick

International Airport. ..

No. No sign.

Well, he's probably

up in Arbroath,

posting Porter's balls

to his auntie.

Let's check out Porter's flat.

Come on.

Right.

Right.

I had no idea, officer.

I'm absolutely stunned.

Mind you,

the dark side of Chris

was never too far away.

He was always, um,

flipping his razor out,

rubbing his self up and down

against the back

of the barber's chair,

you know, that kind of...

that kind of thing.

You know, if you ask me,

I think his childhood

had a part in all of this.

You know that his mother

used to, uh,

lock him in the bunker,

throw in a boiled egg

now and again.

Get him out,

dress him up

in one of her nighties,

and get him to dance

for his Uncle Gerald.

Now...

does that sound normal to you'?

Ah.

I have no idea

where he could be.

I mean,

there was a friend in Lewisham,

but, uh, Why would he go there?

Right. The freezer.

What the f***'?

You're that copper

off the telly!

You're Taggart.

You're off The Bill'?

You're a loser.

Oi, Taggart!

Has there been a murder'?

My ma thinks

you're shite, Taggart.

F*** off!

He killed them,

then he put them in the bin.

He put them in the bin,

because...

he was...

awfully tidy.

Ah, f***.

F***ing little sweaty socks.

He f***in' boiled them.

He out them up

and he f***in' boiled them.

You don't think we should

check with Robertson

about a warrant, sir'?

Radio reception

round here is shocking.

What are you doing in there,

ya dirty wee bastard?

What'?

Yer at it, aren't ye'?

With one of

yer dirty wee lassies.

Where is she'?

Ya dirty, dirty wee bastard.

What the f***'?

Ya dirty, dirty wee bastard.

Are ya doin' it right now'?

Show me, show me.

Do ye want to watch?

'Cause we're doin' it

right now.

Come, come closer and see.

Oh, aye?

Sir'?

The f***?

What is that?

Oh, I think we've hit the jackpot here.

That's handy.

You dirty, dirty bastard.

F*** you, Robertson.

I will have

your arse for disobeying orders!

We couldn't reach you.

We thought maybe

you'd gone deep cover.

In a boys' school's shower.

Don't you f***ing start...

Look!

There's a piece of each victims,

some represented

more than others.

There's also a receipt

for a train ticket...

Glasgow to London.

Filed a report yet'? Hey? Hey?

Well, I'll take it from here.

As of now, off you f***.

Nae Wullie.

Now nae Chris.

Well, Chris likes

a Friday night.

Probably lying

in his own piss somewhere.

It's the middle of the week.

Barney Thomson?

We need to contact him

very urgently,

so, you know, if you could...

He rubbed his self

up against the back

of the barber chair.

Oh...

And he had a cousin

in Lewisham,

in London.

So, What was your

last contact with him'?

Just normal, you know.

He left.

Uh...

I tidied up,

and everything was just...

perfectly normal.

Yeah. Okay.

That's fine, Mr. Thomson.

So if you could, uh,

send in Mr. Henderson, please.

Okay.

Hey. Hey...

Shoo. Shoo! Shoo, shoo, shoo!

Go! Well, don't.

Just, f*** off!

F*** off, dog!

Don't... G et f***ed.

Just beat it.

F***in'...

Well...

So, that's that, then.

My laddie's deid.

I'm afraid so, Mr. Henderson.

If you'd like to accompany us

to the station,

we can fill you in

on the details that we have

up to this point.

Nah, you're all right.

I've got a couple of regulars

coming in an hour.

Life must go on, eh'?

Bye, girls!

See you's at the bingo!

Don't do anything I Wouldn't do.

I know

What you've f***ing done!

Less of the language.

Know what?

I've been in your flat.

What the hell were you doing

in my flat'?

There's been another accident.

Oh, God.

Who is it this time?

- Chris.

- Chris'? Chris who?

The other f***ing barber!

Ooh, well done.

I've been in your freezer.

You're that body parts killer.

I know.

What have you got in there?

Your pals.

Get in the f***ing car.

What the hell

are you playing at'?

Eh'?

Have you been

driving around With...

You cannae keep them in the car!

Are you mental?

Look, I wanted to plant

them in Chris's flat

and make it look like

he was the killer,

but he's got a wee freezer.

What'?

His freezer's too wee!

His freezer's too f***in' wee!

Would you just

listen to yourself?

I never saw

the f***in' point of you.

Chris Porter, last seen

by Barney Thomson

on Monday evening

when he left

Henderson's barbershop.

His girlfriend

reported him missing

the following afternoon.

Under my instruction,

Dl Holdall and DS MacPherson

were sent on a routine check

to the individual's flat,

where they found

several body parts,

which I believe to be connected

to the serial killer's victims.

We're just Waiting on pathology

for confirmation.

We also discovered a receipt

for a train ticket to London

the previous day.

Anything to add, 127'?

It's too clean, sir.

It's like the evidence

was laid on for us.

Now, there are follow-ups

I'd like to instigate

before we go public.

Barney Thomson?

You're obsessed.

I talked to the man yesterday.

You know Where he was

when Henderson Went missing?

The bingo.

Does that sound like

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