Barney Thomson Page #6

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a crazed serial killer to you'?

Ah, Jenkins.

I've just completed

the pathology report, sir.

You have the floor.

It couldn't have been Porter

who chopped up those bodies.

It's normal for there to be

skin cells present

on anything we touch,

but with the vigorous

chop-chop-chopping,

those would have been enhanced.

These skin cells determine

the age of the assailant.

I'd state in a court of law

that this was done by someone

in their late 60s, early 70s.

Well, I'll be f***ed.

So Porter's got an accomplice.

Exactly so, 119.

And it isn't Thomson, 127.

Right,

you will now interview

every old lag in Glasgow.

Every last one.

You go near Thomson again,

I'll put you on traffic.

Get out there

and find Porter's accomplice.

Why did you do it'?

I don't know.

You do it once,

you sort of get the bug for it.

I can't explain, it's like...

you know you shouldn't,

and that's part of

the kick, you know?

Going on dates,

you never knew What

you were going to get.

F***in' hell.

Well, What do you

want me to say?

"Sorry?"

It's noe as if I'm entirely

without compassion.

I sent the relatives something

to remember them by.

What, an arse'?

Get off my back.

Did you kill Dad'?

Oh...

You told me

he f***ed off to Australia.

I kept asking you why,

and you couldnae give me

a straight answer.

You couldnae

because you f***ing killed him.

Shite.

I never told you

because I knew you couldnae

handle the truth.

So, What's the truth?

He moved to Harthill

and opened a tobacconists.

Harthill's only

five f***ing miles away!

See'?

I knew you'd be like this.

Well, why didn't he

keep in touch?

Maybe he was just

like everybody else.

Maybe he couldn't be f***ing

bothered with you either.

Know Why?

'Cause he Wasn't your dad.

What do you mean

he wasnae my dad'?

Him.

That wee prick.

He wasnae your dad.

What's the matter with you'?

Well, who-who was my dad'?

"Who was my dad?"

Who's my dad'?

- I don't bloody know.

- L-low no?

"- How no?" - How f***ing no'?

I was a very busy

lady back then!

I didn't know

any of the punters' names!

I didn't want to know!

Punters'?

As long as they paid up front,

I didn't care.

I just pointed them

round the back,

that Way you don't have to look

at their f***ing ugly faces.

I had the Women's Realm

spread out

on the chest of drawers,

I'd be flicking

through that all day.

That's what got you through.

Vermin, the lot of them.

Don't you look at me like that.

You do anything to get by.

Your granny, she had a place

above the butcher shop

on London Road.

It's one of the nail salons now.

- Granny Beattie'?

- Aye.

Think What she had to do

to keep you in f***ing

Dolly Mixture.

- Aw, Christ...

- What? That's life.

Is it f***!

Oh, you would know, would you'?

You, What, all the living

you've been doing.

Look at you.

Fucks sake.

I thought I'd been careful.

And one day, of course,

the inevitable happens,

and here we are.

Total f***ing disaster.

I kept meaning to tell you.

You kept f***ing

meaning to tell me, did you'?

You kept meaning to tell me'?

This is shite!

Absolute f***ing shite!

You don't give a f***

about anything, dae you'?

It's all a f***ing

laugh to you.

This is my f***ing life here!

This is shite.

This is f***in' shite.

Get up.

Get up.

Will ya get up!

Look at you,

a big bubbly bairn!

You make me sick.

Be a man for once, will ya!

"Ohm. Mummy!"

"Oh, Mummy, me want pudding!"

"Mummy!"

Stop...

"What 'bout me!"

"Me want Beezer!

Me want Dandy!"

"Me want cuddles!"

"Me want cuddles, Mummy!"

"Mummy, where's Daddy?"

"Mummy! Mum my!"

"Mummy, I shat myself, Mummy!

Mummy, I shat myself, Mummy!"

"It's sticky, Mummy!"

"Me sticky!"

"I love you, Mummy,

I love you, Mummy!

I love you, Mummy."

"I love you, Mummy!"

"I love you, Mummy!"

"I love you, Mummy, I love you!"

Mum'?

Oh, Mummy...

Mum...

I feel so bad

I've got a worried mind.

I'm so lonesome all the time.

Since I left my baby behind.

On Blue Bayou.

Saving nickels.

Saving dimes.

Working till

the sun don't shine.

Looking forward

to happier times.

On Blue Bayou.

I'm going back someday

come what may.

To Blue Bayou.

Where you sleep all day

and the catfish play.

On Blue Bayou.

All those fishing boats.

With their sails afloat.

If I could only see.

That familiar sunrise

through sleepy eyes.

How happy I'd be...

Where the f*** are the boats'?

F*** it.

And to be with

some of my friends.

Maybe I'd be happy then.

On Blue Bayou.

I'm going back someday

gonna stay.

On Blue Bayou.

Where the folks are fine.

And the world is mine.

On Blue Bayou.

And that girl of mine.

B)' my side.

The silver moon

and the evening tide.

Oh. Some sweet day.

Gonna take away

this hurtin' inside.

I'll never be blue

my dreams come true.

On Blue Bayou...

F***!

Oh, f***.

Oh, f***.

Oh, f*** it.

Is that you taking

your wee boy to school?

See he's out of the shops, then.

You Watch yourself, MacPherson.

She's spent the last 40 years

cutting up balls

as Glasgow's biggest killer.

- Where's Dodie'?

- Deid.

Deed?

- Did what?

- Deid.

My Dodie.

Oh. Dodie died.

F***.

Forget that, MacPherson.

Chris Porter,

wanted for at least six murders

in the greater Glasgow area.

He had an accomplice,

somebody a bit... older.

You think my Dodie

had something to do with this'?

- Well...

- F*** off.

Dodie never did a favour

for anybody in his life.

The only murdering he did

was for himself and the family.

He'd do anything for his family.

You've got

to look out for your Mum, eh?

She'd do anything for me.

Anything at all.

Listen, sir,

are you sure about this'?

Look, the pathologist

didn't say the gender,

just the age.

He kills them,

she takes the body parts

on her coach trips.

Pitlochry,

Fraserburgh, Montrose, Arbroath.

All the prize bingo,

and F***-Me-Quick places

these old biddies flock to.

Now, that's where

she posts them from,

you know, giving

the perfect alibi

to her beloved son.

Tell you What,

let's pump this old bag

full of biscuits

and make her f***ing squeal.

And danced without a net

upon the wire.

I know a lot about her

'cause. You see.

Baby is an awful lot like me.

We don't cry out loud.

Keep it inside.

Learn how to hide your feelings.

Fly high and proud.

And if you should fall.

Remember you almost had it all.

Baby saw that when they pulled

that big top down...

They left behind her dreams

among the fitter.

And the different kind of love.

She thought she'd found.

Was nothing more than sawdust

and some glitter...

God bless.

Thanks for coming.

God bless, darling.

Thanks for coming.

I hear they found Wullie

all chopped up.

What?

Are you coming

to the fair tonight?

I'm burying my mother.

I don't have time

tae mess about

with the f***ing likes of you.

I'm run off my feet at work

with the two of them dead,

so Why don't you just f*** off!

"Two of them dead"?

I thought it was just Wullie.

Shite.

I didnae do it, Charlie.

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