Baywatch Page #8

So?

So the question is,

who the f*** is Angelo?

I saw barrels like that

down in the Huntley,

and now they're on

the back of her yacht.

Oh, my god.

Mitch, you're impossible.

My gut says

there's some bad sh*t

going on over there,

and my balls say we need

to go over there

and check it out.

Yeah. Your balls

said that?

Yes, they did.

'Cause my balls say,

"hey, just take it easy

right here. Just chill."

Why the f*** do

your balls sound like

three-year-old girls?

I don't know, man

that's just how they talk.

But they're wise.

Well, tell your

shriveled, wise balls

we're going

to the Huntley to see

what's in those barrels.

Dude, we are

penetrating the sh*t

out of this place.

No, I think

it's "infiltrate."

That's what we want to do.

To infiltrate.

You know they're

gonna be looking for us.

That's why we're

going undercover.

Undercover?

In disguise?

Check it out.

I'm undercover.

Yeah. A little

too undercover.

Why the f*** are you

wearing makeup, dude?

What do you mean,

why the heck am i

wearing makeup?

It's a little much.

What was I supposed to do?

Well, what we're

supposed to do is find

the f***ing flakka.

Oh, my god.

Angelo's fish company.

There it is.

You are so selfish.

You think this was easy?

It's very

impressive, Princess.

But please shut

the f*** up and focus.

Come on.

Holy sh*t.

Whoa.

Can't believe Leeds

is doing that sh*t

during the day.

Yeah. That takes balls.

Holy sh*t.

It's like breaking bad

in there.

Yeah, dude,

breaking bad.

You were right.

Yeah, I was right.

Let's get him in!

- I got here.

- Right.

Yep.

We're good.

- Grab his other leg.

- Got it.

Get

a stretcher ready.

Yeah, this is the police.

How can I help you,

lifeguard?

Ellerbee,

you got to get down

to the Huntley asap.

We found the drugs.

Yeah, that sounds

great, Mitch,

but right now I'm busy dealing

with another dead body.

Oh, and this one's

on your beach.

Did you hear that?

First a councilman

and now a shark attack.

That's crazy.

Lifeguard coming through.

You're still calling this

your jurisdiction, right?

We haven't had a dead body

on the beach in years.

But this has got

to be connected

to the Huntley.

We found the drugs here.

I'm telling you.

They're behind this.

Mitch, it's thorpe,

your boss.

Look, stop with

the Huntley crap, okay?

And don't even

come down here.

We don't need you.

Just meet me back

at headquarters.

Right now I gotta deal

with your

new publicity nightmare.

F***!

Emerald bay

is reeling this afternoon

from the shocking discovery

of another dead body.

But in the wake of the recent

death of councilman Rodriguez,

the locals here want answers.

I can't believe that no

one was at tower one.

I don't even know

what to say.

Whose shift was it?

Sir, it was mine.

And where were you?

Stalking one of

the most prominent

women in emerald bay?

Blatantly disregarding

your jurisdiction?

Sir, I only stepped away

to check out the Huntley

and find the flakka.

I warned you.

I warned you about

sticking to your job.

This wasn't even

Mitch's fault.

You leave me no choice.

You're done.

I want you off the beach.

I'm putting Brody in charge.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

No way.

There's not

a chance... hey...

You can do this

in your sleep.

That's not what I'm saying.

I don't want the position.

I don't...

You have two

gold medals, okay?

You're like

the Stephen Hawking

of swimming,

minus the total

paralysis part.

Unless you want me

to replace you

with someone else.

With all due respect,

that job should go

to Stephanie Holden.

She knows the bay

better than anyone.

I'm no longer interested

in your opinion, buchannon.

Dismissed.

Brody.

Brody, hang back.

Okay, it's just me

and you now.

If you can help me

keep your new pals in line,

I can make sure

that you stick around here

for a long, long time.

And if you don't,

your probation

could get f***ed up.

Good talk, Brody.

Okay.

You're my dawg, right?

I'll see you tomorrow.

Bring it in.

I f***ed it up.

Turn in your trunks, Mitch.

I'm going to go.

What, you think

that I wanted this?

It kinda looks

like you did.

What?

If anyone should get the job

it should be Stephanie.

No sh*t.

I couldn't agree more.

What would you have done?

I wouldn't have

taken the job,

even if they'd

offered it to me.

It was not an offer,

it was a trap.

Guys, guys, come on.

Please.

All right? I need you

to work together to help

bieber here figure out

why there's a dead body

on our beach,

and how Leeds

is bringing in drugs

to the bay.

Good luck.

Mitch.

Yo, Mitch!

I'm sorry.

I want you to have something.

My mentor gave me this.

It's the keys to

lifeguard tower one.

Your new post.

No. I'm not ready.

I'm not ready for this,

man.

They need you.

Hi, Mitch. Just checking in

on you again.

Uh, please call us back.

We're worried about you.

No, thanks, man.

Excuse me, ma'am...

Yo, Mitch. It's Brody.

I hit you on the c.B.,

so I know you're listening.

I hope you haven't gone crazy

and started eating

carbs or something.

Everyone says hi.

Come back, man.

I could really use

your help, brother.

You know, well, it all

depends on the data plan

that you want.

Internet,

everything like that?

Oh, it's all fantastic

with the Internet, sure.

It's Internet-savvy

in function

and there's broadband...

All right.

...you gotta have that.

Yeah, sure.

Samsung has all

the capabilities of

the I.T. Process, and, uh...

Mind if I cut in for a second?

What are you doing here?

I'm here to remind you

who you are.

Come on, buddy.

Snap out of it!

Shoes?

You're wearing

worker man shoes?

Really,

how far have you fallen?

Far.

I'd love to buy a...

Mitch?

Yes, Mitch.

Come on, man.

You don't just

protect the bay.

You are the bay.

Mitch, the bay needs you.

Hey, do you guys know of

any good bars around here?

Hey, do you guys know

where you can rent a bike?

Oh, yeah,

right up that way.

- This way?

- Uh-huh.

Not too far away.

All right, cool.

Thank you, guys.

Sand grifters.

Get the f*** out of here!

This is my beach!

All right,

we're out of here!

Whoa! Did you see that?

Hey.

You guys want to

help me figure out

whose stuff this is?

Yo, this cooler is...

Cool.

Yo, ellerbee?

What's up, man?

How you doing?

Oh, lieutenant Brody!

What you got in the cooler?

Black market organs from

the boogie board bandits?

Oh, you mean this?

No, no.

This is actually

for you.

You see, I'm not Mitch,

right?

I know my place.

I'm just a lifeguard.

And that's it.

I just want to make sure

that you and I

start out on the right foot.

That's it.

So I went ahead

and got something

a little bit special for you.

Which is a double-chocolate

smoothie from chen's.

A double-chocolate smoothie?

Yeah.

From chen's?

They're the best.

You know,

i shouldn't.

But it is my cheat day.

It's your cheat day.

Exactly.

And by the way,

i went ahead and added

that extra protein

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