Bearcity Page #4

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If you get this spare,

you'll win.

Funny.

Tyler.

What?

Angle your approach more.

Oh come on, Roger. What's the

difference? This shot's impossible.

Now look you'll have to give it a lot

of crank but it's not impossible. Come

here. Just shoot for that second dart

from here.

swing out, and give it some lift,

you can make this.

Have you ever made this?

No... but there's a first

time for everything.

snake eyes! somebody's

f***ed without spit.

Teddy bear, where we at?

Oh we're in the graveyard, but we're

playin' a bunch of those pastel Care

Bears so it should be easy.

Who's the kid?

Oh, uh, it's um,

Bert and Ernie's roommate.

I'm not interrupting anything am I?

No, come on. I've got a

reputation to uphold.

You know, it looks like if the kid

makes the unmakeable split he could

take you. Ten bucks says the kid makes

the split and kicks your ass.

F*** you.

Come on kid, show us

what you got.

C'mon Ty.

C'mon Ty.

Do it.

Wow, the kid can crank!

Ahh, better luck next time, kid.

C'mon, Rog, recess is over. Let's go

cream some Care Bear ass.

Oh!

Ohh. Oh oh, get the yellow one.

I don't need it.

Up, up, up.. ooh.

Get the blue one.

stop.

Go, go, go.

Who's playing this game, you or me?

You want to tell me what's wrong?

sure...

I love you, Gobo.

I love you too, Wembley.

And I don't want to

open the relationship.

Alright, then we won't.

Is that alright with you?

Is it alright with you?

I asked you first.

Oh! saved by the Twinkie.

Hi.

What the f*** is up mother f***ers?

I'm gonna go take a piss

and I'll be right back.

The kid's drunk.

We'll talk about this later?

Yeah, it'll probably be better.

We'll watch a movie.

Where'd you go?

(BURPs)

Eww.

Heineken or Pabst?

Yup, I went to the beer

blast at the Eagle.

Yeah, we figured.

Oh, I told everyone how handsome that

you both are and how nice you're being

to me. Oh, and I went to an audition,

and booked it.

No, you didn't.

shut up. Uh, and I went bowling,

but I'm not talking about it.

Oh?

I said I'm not talking about it.

Alright we're about to start the

greatest Jennifer Lopez movie ever.

Oh, ''Out of sight''?

''selena''.

Oh, anything for selena.

Oh yeah! Let's have a little slumber

party. We'll cuddle up between two

bears and watch.

No, we were going to do it alone.

Brent?

Oh, no it's fine. It's fine.

I have to go to bed anyway.

No no sweetheart.

No, no, no. You sit right back down,

this is your house now too.

Alright, well I'll order Chinese

for three people.

Oh, do Pu Pu platter.

Oh yeah, Kung Pow.

Holy sh*t!

Oh no no no.

Oh no no no.

Oh God!

Why would you do that?

A bear is a terrible thing to waste.

Ok, what do you fraggets want?

slimworkzzz make you look

hot in a bathing suit!

It works!

slimworkzzz to impress your

boss and co-workers!

You're hired!

slimworkzzz to lift the velvet rope

for you at the best clubs and events.

single? With slimworkzzz,

you'll turn heads!

slimworkzzz while you sleep to get

rid of that jiggle. It really works!

Are those bulky running machines and

exercise equipment taking up all spare

room? Get rid of them! With

slimworkzzz, you'll not only have

space to spare in your home but also

your waistline.

slimworkzzz -- when fat's making you a

failure, slimworkzzz will make you a

success! And now slimworkzzz has a

dreamy price. Order two bottles of

slimworkzzz for the price of one.

We'll even throw in a free bottle of

Cell-You-Tite toner ointment.

Warning:
may cause dizziness,

drowziness, or anal leakage.

so what are you b*tches having?

Do you have anything organic, or

overpriced from Whole Foods? You do?

Can I just have a sausage

with no bun? Cue.

Oh ah, God, um.. sausage, bun, meat,

barbecue, insert joke.

sorry, I don't have anything.

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

Daddy's got some big hot

sizzling meat here.

Oh thank you, there it is.

I'm not that hungry.

Yeah, come on Michael, don't be shy.

I mean, who knows. This could

be your last supper, no?

Carlos, what are you doing here?

Oh what? so I'm an outcast now? Is

that what you're gonna do to all of

your friends once you're thin enough

to join the White Party?

This is really inappropriate, baby.

Thin enough for what?

Yeah, Carlos. What

are you talking about?

Oh so, I guess you didn't tell them.

Carlos, shut the f*** up.

Ok, well of course you know.

You can't tell me that you, of all

people, approve of this?

No, I don't. But it's not my decision.

Nor is it yours.

- You know what, Back the f*** off, or

- Or what?

Ok both of you... Calm down and

take five, or eight. Twelve.

Hey man, who the f*** are you?

seriously, I mean, where the f*** did

you come from, anyway?

Carlos!

Please... stop.

F*** man! !

Can someone tell me what the f***

just happened here?

Junior here just strapped on a pair of

brass balls is what happened!

- Are you getting the lap band?

- Brent.

- What?

- Leave it.

It's OK. Yes, I am getting the lap

band. I'm going into surgery the

Monday after BearCity.

Michael, that's next weekend.

I know, I know. And thank you for

coming to my defense, but you guys

please don't be too hard on Carlos, I

know this is really tough on him.

And you, thank you for stepping in

between the two people I love most in

the world and keep them from killing

themselves.

Yeah, you got all Judge Judy on her.

I was impressed.

so was I.

I just wanted to make sure I put

in my footlong order.

Hey Rodge!

Teddy Bear! What is up?

How's it going?

What's cooking?

Apparently you are! Nice apron.

Ahh, sexy f***.

What up man?

Yo man what up?

sup.

Alright, who's hungry? Huh?

Oh yeah, I'll take two of

everything, man.

I'll have what he's having.

I'm sorry, Brent. It just happened.

I know. I saw. You think I'm stupid?

No, I don't. I was stoned.

Oh, what's f***ing new?

Why didn't you say something?

What am I supposed to say, Fred?

''Tyler, can you please get your taint

out of my husband's face''?

Oh f***, I can't believe I did that.

I can't believe you did it after we

just talked about how you were OK

with not doing it.

That was the truth, Brent. I wasn't

looking to open the relationship.

Then what are you looking for

in the crack of his ass?

C'mon Brent! You weren't exactly up

for things all the time, you know.

Oh ok, right? so I'm totally impotent

just because I don't want to

have f***ing sex all the time.

I'm sorry. I'm just getting a lot of

mixed signals here, Brent. One minute

you're up for trying new things and

then you do a 180.

Fine. I will do it.

see!

see.

Oh.. God.

Hey, baby. This is a work-in-progress.

If this doesn't work out we'll talk,

and we'll figure something else out

that does work for both of us. OK?

Okay

I love you.

I love you too.

Aww, sweetie.

More, more.

God I love stroller meat.

simon?

The one and only!

Jesus, if I have needed to see anybody

right now you are the perfect person

who has just skated into my heart.

Now I'm necessary in your life?

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