Before Midnight Page #15

JESSE:

And you think I don't?

98.

CELINE:

I spend all day making dinner, wiping

both you and your son's pee off the

toilet seat, while you talk to your

fellow novelists. Blah, blah, blah,

you're a genius, blah, blah, blah,

no, you're a genius. And the second

we say goodbye to Henry, you suggest

that maybe I should give up my dream

job because you feel bad.

JESSE:

Oh. Okay, now it's your dream job?!

This afternoon you weren't even sure

you wanted it but now it's your dream

job. Do you ever listen to yourself?

CELINE:

Yes it is my dream job! Just because

I have doubts doesn't mean I don't

want it.

JESSE:

Okay.

CELINE:

All right? But what do you care?

Every day you go on your two hour

"contemplative" walk under the olive

trees. Socrates... you should get a

robe.

JESSE:

It's an hour.

CELINE:

No, by the time you leave, and by

the time you're actually with us

again, two hours. You know, I could

never do that. You're very good at

taking care of yourself. I take

care of myself, AND everything else.

We're going somewhere, you pack your

bag, I pack EVERYTHING else.

JESSE:

You would never let me pack the girls'

sh*t. Never!

CELINE:

Because there would be no shoes and

plenty of dirty underwear.

JESSE:

So says you.

99.

CELINE:

I'm happy you have time to contemplate

the universe and have existential

problems because I don't - I barely

have time to think. I work, I babysit,

I work, I baby-sit.

Jesse wanders off into the bathroom to take a pee.

JESSE:

Could you hold on a second? I just

have to tune up the string section...

CELINE:

You know what? The only time I get

to think now, is when I take a sh*t

at the office. I'm starting to

associate thoughts with the smell of

sh*t.

JESSE:

Well, that is a good line - I want

to use that in a book someday.

CELINE:

I'm sure you will - and that'll be

the best line in the book.

She walks over and talks to him directly while he's in the

bathroom.

CELINE (CONT'D)

And by the way, you may never, EVER,

use me or anything I say or do in

one of your f***ing books again!

And that goes for the girls, too.

Jesse comes back out.

JESSE:

Well, A) You shouldn't have hooked

up with a writer. B) You weren't

in the last book or the one I'm

writing now. C) I'm gonna write

about whatever the f*** I want.

CELINE:

As always, OUR life works for YOU.

JESSE:

No, no, no. Don't give me this put

upon housewife bullshit. Okay this

is not the 50's.

(MORE)

100.

JESSE (CONT'D)

I'm sorry to ruin your perfect little

narrative of oppression with the

truth but I am the one who's at home

everyday dealing with the bullshit

cause you're at work until 6:30.

CELINE:

6 o'clock.

JESSE:

You take the girls to school, and I

pick them up. That's fair, that's

our deal. We live in Paris, France

for chrissakes.

CELINE:

Yeah, and you remind me of it every

single day.

JESSE:

I have orbited my entire life around

you and you know it. So I am sorry

if this Summer's vacation - and it

is a vacation - because all I've

seen you do is frolic in the sea and

shove greek salad down your throat.

Ok, but it is not indicative of you

spending your life in some kind of

domestic servitude.

CELINE:

You know what I love about men?

They still believe in magic. Little

fairies around who pick up their

socks, little fairies unload the

dishwasher, little fairies sunscreen

the kids. Little fairies who make

the f***ing Greek salads that you

eat like a pig.

JESSE:

Okay, listen to me, all right? You

are great at taking care of us. You

are. I mean you take care of the

kids, you take care of your friends,

you take care of the world. Alright?

And you were like that before you

were a mom and now its only magnified.

But, and I've been telling you this

for years - you gotta do a little

bit better job taking care of

yourself. Ok, you do.

101.

CELINE:

Okay, stop patronizing me, all right?

I'm the one at home every night at

6.00, not 6.30. I am reliable.

Have you ever booked a baby sitter,

ever, in your entire life? NO.

What is the name of their

pediatrician?

JESSE:

Stop quizzing me, all right? It's

really f***ing boring.

CELINE:

Yeah, okay. You know what? I'm at

home every night and I make dinner,

I give baths, and I read bedtime

stories. Sometimes you're there,

sometimes you're at a university

event or a publicity tour. Ok?

When you get "inspired" you keep on

writing. I get inspired too

sometimes, you know that?

JESSE:

You want to write? Great. Write.

CELINE:

No, but you remember I used to sing

and play guitar and write songs?

I'd still like to do it. But I don't

get to - there isn't time.

JESSE:

Okay. Well, first off, my writing

isn't a hobby. Secondly, I wish you

would find the time. You somehow

manage to find the time to complain

about 8 hours a day. I mean, I love

the way you sing. Okay? I f***ed

up my whole life 'cause of the way

you sing. Alright? If you took one

eighth of the energy that you spend

on bitching, whining and worrying...

If you put that energy into playing

scales, I mean you would be like

f***ing Django Reinhardt.

Celine exits...

JESSE (CONT'D)

Okay. All right. Whoops. You forgot

your shoes.

(sighs)

Goddamn. Hell.

102.

And quickly re-enters.

CELINE:

You think you're winning?!

(almost losing her

temper)

Very few people realize what it is

like for an active or passionate

woman to have a child. Some friends

told me, "you'll see, you'll want to

throw them out the window." Okay,

but the truth is I never wanted to

hurt them once but I thought about

ending it all for myself a hundred

times. I was so confused, and you

were always away on a stupid book

tour or because of Henry's custody

sh*t and I didn't want to be a burden.

Now I know why Sylvia Plath put her

head in a toaster.

JESSE:

It was an oven.

CELINE:

(losing it)

Don't play with words. You know

what I mean - toaster, oven. Same

thing. You know how many times I

was alone with the girls crying with

no clue what to do? Do you know the

guilt a mother feels when she doesn't

know what to do?

JESSE:

Do you think you have sole ownership

of that feeling?

CELINE:

I don't think you understand, okay?

(a beat)

You know what my secret fear is?

With every man? Is that they all

want to turn me into a submissive

housewife.

JESSE:

Okay, no one could EVER do that, all

right? I promise, it would be easier

to fit your head into a toaster than

to turn you into anything submissive.

The whole conversation has taken on a calmer tone.

Rate this script:4.5 / 15 votes