Better Than Chocolate Page #3

Oh, my goodness,

you're easy to talk to.

Here's to strong women.

To strong women.

- God loves you.

- Hey, I'm busy here.

Jesus loves you.

Thank you.

Can you still read "Die Dyke Die?"

or do you think

I've finally gotten it all off?

Maggie, you know we never used

to have graffiti around here. Never.

Yeah, I think

it's my window displays.

Oh, yeah.

Listen, Maggie, first it's graffiti,

then they start breaking windows,

then God knows what's next.

Certain people, you don't want

to attract their attention, capice?

Capice.

I don't need people writing "Dyke"

on my coffee bar, all right?

Do I look like a dyke to you?

Come on,

you're riding shotgun.

- Where we going?

- Customs, baby.

Hey, hey, hey! Who's supposed

to clean this sh*t up now, huh?

Stu catzo!

- Excuse me.

- Yes?

Can you direct me

to Mr. Marcus' office?

- Downstairs, turn right.

- Thank you.

Buildings like this are designed along

the lines of a rationalist conspiracy.

The thing is

not to be bamboozled,

just know where you're going

and go there. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Ah!

- Ooh!

- Don't ask.

Oh, boy.

The books have been

classified as obscene

and will not be allowed

through the border.

Now, if I can just

get you to sign here.

"Little Red Riding Hood"

is obscene?

Well, we... we thought

that was something else.

- I'll bet you did.

- Our mistake.

However, titles such as...

"The Lesbian SM Virtual Sex Manual"

and "A Guide To A-a-a... "

"Anal Safe Sex"

will remain here with us.

Something to read

on those dark, lonely nights.

If I could just get you to sign here,

here and here and here.

You can have "Little Red Riding Hood"

back within the week.

Seriously, Mr. Marcus...

the Supreme Court has declared

that anal sex is to gay male sex

what Mozart is to classical music.

Miss Turner, we are not here

to discuss classical music.

I myself

am a huge Mozart fan, but...

Look, the Supreme Court has declared

this material is not obscene!

This is not the Supreme Court.

We're in Customs

and I have a job to do.

Just following orders, are we?

A**hole.

From your perspective that must be

a compliment of Mozartian proportions?

Security! Security!

Frances,

I think you should let him go.

We have a problem?

Bernice?

Bernice, is that you?

Oh, my God I haven't seen you

since the Womyn's Music Festival.

Who was that woman you were with?

The meter maid?

Julie, how is Julie?

I'm going back in there.

I don't think so.

Wow.

That is a great piece.

It's a great piece of...

Art, Frances.

The ice age

destroyed the dinosaurs.

So, I'm commenting

on the dinosaur mentality of Customs.

Ultimately, the cube melts

and the books are liberated.

But ruined.

Liberated but ruined.

It's conceptual.

Ooh, yes.

I love the layers of meaning.

Like a popsicle.

There's an orange layer,

and a blue layer, and a pink layer.

Um-hmm.

Now, you're going to clean up after

your "conceptual"...

- once it starts to melt, right?

- Oh, yeah.

Right.

For bright pink,

use whole dye package.

So, have you known Margaret long?

No, actually. Not that long at all.

Maybe about a week.

Mmmm...

seems like longer.

Yes, you two seem very close.

We are.

Actually,

that's something I'd like to talk...

You know, Margaret never really

had any friends in high school.

I mean, she was a straight-A student

so she was always studying.

That's why I don't understand

why she has quit university.

- It's what she always wanted.

- Hmm.

Have you been to university?

Art school.

Ahhh,

art school.

I went to music school,

you know.

Oh, really?

I used to sing...

Puccini, Verdi.

You sang opera?

I know, I hardly seem like

the prima donna type now... but, yes.

I... had to give that all up,

of course.

Why, "of course?"

Well, because,

it's nonsense, really.

I mean, you know,

if you can't be great...

if you can't be the best.

That's ridiculous.

What if it's what you really love to do?

Lila, I want to talk to you

about something. Maggie and I...

You didn't ask Maggie

to quit university, did you?

No, no, no, Lila.

I didn't.

I did want to talk to you,

about her... and about me.

We're in love.

Well, that went well.

7-1-2 Heritage. All right.

This must be the place.

Got my resume.

I am woman!

Are you here

about the job, dear?

Oh, yes, I am.

I can type 120 words a minute.

I can do spreadsheets,

Lotus and Windows.

Oh, I am sorry,

but the job's been filled.

So, why don't you just

leave me your resume...

and I'll get back to you

if something comes up.

Are you here about the job?

That's right.

I thought there was

someone else here.

No, only me.

Okay.

- You know, I do windows.

- Good, good.

- Watch it, big guy.

- Oh, sorry.

I've got the job!

Oh, Mom,

congratulations.

Wine, my dear,

much more ladylike than beer.

And if I help the agents with sales,

they'll give me a commission

on their commissions.

Awesome, Mom.

You rock.

Well, I'm not the person

I was going to be, I'll tell you.

I was going to have a career.

I was going to have a wonderful,

successful marriage,

and two wonderful,

successful children, and...

look at me.

And look at you.

You're looking so, I don't know,

just shabby these days.

To you, Mom.

I'm going to be taking messages,

and helping the agents

while they're selling the units

and keeping the Show Suite clean,

which is... you know.

I read a study...

and after the age of forty...

a woman's chances of having sex

are diminished by eighty percent.

So, after fifty...

God help you.

And since I probably won't

be having sex again,

chocolate's the only

pleasure left for me.

Kim?

Do you have a boyfriend, dear?

No. I don't.

Funny that.

What's wrong with boys these days?

Paul?

Yes, Mom.

- Honey?

- No, that's okay, Mom.

Yeah?

What is this God-awful music?

The thing is Maggie, she's going

to find out sooner or later.

I know, I know.

It's just...

just give me some time.

"I'm in love with... "

"I'm in love with... "

"I'm in love with... "

"Julie Christie. "

"She makes me go misty. "

"She makes me go, ahh!"

"Oh, what a star. "

"Everybody's entitled

to a little fantasy... "

"And how I'd love

to step inside the screen. "

"Everybody's entitled

to a bit of fantasy... "

"Well, you know that film,

Billy Liar... "

"She set my heart on fire!"

"Julie Christie... "

"she makes me go misty. "

"She makes me go, ahh!"

"Oh, what a star. "

"I'm in love with... "

"I'm in love with... "

"Julie Christie. "

"She makes me go misty...

"She makes me go, ahh!

Oh, what a star... "

"Julie Christie. "

"Julie Christie... "

Mom?

Oh, Margaret, I'm so sorry.

I should have rinsed out the machine

after I dyed my underwear.

And I...

It's okay. We'll just tell everyone

we're from a cult.

Mom?

Margaret, what ever happened

to that boy you were dating?

Todd? He went to Toronto,

to study fashion design.

Fashion design?

Oh...

"Fashion design. "

I never liked him.

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