Bicentennial Man Page #6

but not very challenging

on a conversational level.

That is the extent

of his skills.

-So you want someone

to talk to?

-With.

-Even if that person doesn't like you?

-You can't have everything.

Is that right? Is it,

"You can have everything"?

Seems like some people do,

so I'm somewhat confused

on that level.

-Sit down. Let's talk.

-Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Hey there, handsome. Andrew,

could I get you anything to drink?

-Sorry, I have no stomach.

-Oh. Could I get something for him?

-He has a stomach. Yes.

-Do you think he's hungry?

[Continue Speaking, Indistinct]

[Woman Over P.A., Indistinct]

[Chattering]

-How is she?

-She's sleeping.

What happened?

She had a stroke.

[Door Closing]

Mm. There you are.

Little Miss.

Hmm.

[Exhaling]

She's gone?

It's cruel that you can cry

and I cannot.

Here is a terrible pain

I cannot express.

Will every human being

that I care for...

just... leave?

I'm afraid so.

That won't do.

Andrew, this is remarkably impressive.

You did this all by yourself?.

Yes. I downloaded every known

medical textbook into my memory.

I studied them. That's how I came up

with these drawings.

I know they're very primitive

and not entirely complete,

but that's why I need you

to fill in the mechanical gaps, Rupert.

This is another upgrade.

It's considerably more than an upgrade.

I mean, you're--

You're talking about

a profound transition...

from the mechanical

to the biological.

I realize that, and I believe

it is the ideal marriage of both fields.

Not only that, but this stuff

could cut both ways.

I don't think that any

existing prosthetic devices

or artificial organs...

hold a candle

to what you've designed here.

You could use these

in human beings as well.

Exactly.

Wow!

[Winding Down]

-What a piece of fecal matter.

-Sh*t.

-Excuse me?

-What a piece of sh*t.

I know that.

No, that's way you say

when you're frustrated.

You say "piece of sh*t."

-"Piece of sh*t"?

-Yes, but-but with feeling.

Oh. What a piece of sh*t.

-More.

-What a piece of sh*t!

-Good, very good.

-Thank you.

Now, are you aware

that what you've essentially

designed here...

is the equivalent of the human

central nervous system?

-That was my intention, yes.

-Okay.

Well, you gotta realize

that a nervous system is going to...

radically enhance the way that you feel

and perceive the world around you.

I'm not just talking about hot and cold

and little tiny pinpricks.

Put it this way:

As your experience

becomes varied,

so will the feelings,

emotions, sensations...

stimulated

by that experience.

And while some of these

will be very subtle...

and wonderful

and nuanced and shaded,

others will be profoundly intense

and difficult to tolerate.

Do you feel like

you're ready for that?

Absolutely.

-Lovely.

-Thank you.

I was referring

to the statue.

I know.

Could you fix

this piece of sh*t?

[Laughing] I don't know.

Let me take a look.

-Andrew, I'm sure you could

restore this yourself.

-Yes, I could.

But you could do it

much better.

Well, I'd be happy

to fix it for you.

-If it's not too much effort.

-No, not at all.

I've been working all day,

and I could really use some air.

Do you wanna go for a walk?

Oh, that would be

quite splendid. Yes.

-[Laughing]

-Why are you laughing at me?

You're just--

You're always so polite and so proper.

-It's very sweet.

-Thank you.

Let's go.

Thank you.

[Chuckling]

When a man's

an empty kettle

He should be

on his mettle

And yet

I'm torn apart

It's because I'm presumin'

that I could be kinda human

If I only

had a heart

-Picture me

-Do you have an impact drill?

-Uh, yeah, over on the rack.

-Thank you.

-[Continues Singing]

-[Drill Whirring]

-Jesus!

-[Robot Screaming]

[Portia]

There's a party next week...

to celebrate the opening

of the building that I restored,

and all my friends

will be there,

and it would be great

if you could come.

I would love to.

Thank you.

I think

you're letting me win.

Checkmate.

[Woman]

I love all

The many charms

About you

Above all

I want my arms

About you

Don't

Don't be

A naughty, naughty baby

Come to Mama

Come to Mama, do

My sweet

Embraceable

You

Charles, why don't you

go get us a drink?

Sure.

-[Applause]

-Thank you. Thank you.

The very thought of you

And I forget to do

The simple

ordinary things

That everyone

ought to do

I'm living in

A kind of daydream

I'm happy as a king

And foolish

Though it may seem

To me you're everything

The mere idea of you

Though I'm here for you

You'll never know

How slow

the moments go

Till I'm near you

-I never understood the phrase

"pearls before swans."

-[Laughing]

-What?

-Swine.

Oh? Then the ballet is not

Swine Lake?

Oh, God, nobody

makes me laugh like you.

Laughter is essential

for a good friendship.

Yes, it is.

Sometimes I get

the feeling that...

you feel a certain way

about us...

and... that you...

wish or--

-[Laughing]

-What?

I don't know.

It's just a little--

Having this conversation

with--

-A robot?

-Yes.

I-I mean,

a thing is itself, Andrew.

A tree is a tree,

water is water. You...

are a magnificent machine.

But no matter how much

you change, that's what

you'll always be.

No, I can't believe that,

will not believe that.

I realize I'm not

entirely human.

That's why people don't

always like or understand me.

-I like you.

-You do?

I even understand you...

some of the time.

But I--

I can't invest my emotions

in a machine.

Must be a genetic trait.

Things change, Portia.

Things always change.

She laughed at me.

"A thing is itself, Andrew.

Water is water."

[Scoffs]

What about ice?

What about steam, hmm?

Andy, you gotta calm down,

okay?

Do you know what it's like

to be laughed at?

Humiliating.

It's an abomination.

Look at me.

Look what I'm doing here.

I am trying to make

something of myself.

I am trying to fulfill my destiny.

Does she notice?

-Andrew?

-Yes?

I don't want you

to take this personally,

but I have to work now.

-Good night.

-Good ni--

Where've you been?

I've been trying to call you.

-Poke me in the eye.

Poke me in the eye, Portia.

-What?

-You're crazy.

-Poke me in the eye!

Ow! Ow!

[Laughing]

That hurts. Ow.

[Laughs]

-It works.

-What the hell is going on?

It's my neural net. I am the proud owner

of a central nervous system.

-You can feel.

-Oh, yes, very much.

Will you do something

for me?

-Will you perform an experiment

just for the sake of science?

-All right.

Kiss me.

No, not there. Here.

Thank you.

Could you feel it?

It's wonderful.

It's everything

they say it is.

And you?

Portia, what's wrong?

Charles and I are

getting married.

He's a lucky man.

Congratulations

to the both of you.

Goddamn it, Andrew.

-If you're gonna succeed

at this thing--

-What thing?

This thing you're trying to do--

you've got to stop being

so damn deferential.

-I can't help being deferential.

It's built in.

-Then change.

Change?

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