Big Daddy Page #5

to Sonny's apartment tonight...

...there's a good chance

I'll develop a stutter.

P-P-P-Please don't do this to me.

- That is so cheap.

- What?

So I'm working in a tollbooth now.

I originally wanted to be

a male model...

...but I'm not very good-looking,

so that didn't work out.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm all right. I'm recovering.

This is my favorite part

of the song right here.

If I can't have you

Better keep it down low.

The kid's gonna wake up.

Too late.

Okay. Just hang out a little bit.

I'll be right back.

Don't go sneaking out.

- What are you doing?

- You forgot to say good night.

What do you mean?

I can't go to sleep

until you say good night.

I didn't know that.

I'm sorry. Good night.

Go to sleep now, all right?

What'd we learn about girls?

Initiating the conversation

is half the battle.

Bingo. Now sleep, okay?

I gave him NyQuil.

He should be out for the night.

This is Styx. They've been

my favorite band since I was 12.

You're kidding me.

No, I can't help it.

I just love them.

My friends make fun of me.

My friends make fun of me too.

I've seen them 25 times.

Tommy Shaw, when I was 16,

I was at the concert...

...and he reached down,

pulled me on stage.

I did the robot voice for "Mr. Roboto."

Really?

No, I made that up. I'm sorry.

That would've been cool, right?

My cousin's friends

with their drummer...

...so when they come to town,

we go to dinner...

...and they tell us stories

from the road.

Really?

No, I made that up again too.

I'm sorry.

You're not attracted to, like,

Yeah, I don't like them either.

I can't sleep.

He can't sleep.

So the rabbit ran across the street...

...because he thought

he saw some carrots.

But when he got across the street...

...it turned out they weren't carrots,

they were peanuts.

Peanuts?

The peanuts belonged to a squirrel...

...who had taken them home

from a baseball game.

And then the rabbit

thought to himself...

..."Carrots, peanuts,

what's the difference?"

So he asked the squirrel

if he could have some.

And the squirrel said, "Of course."

And the rabbit was very happy

to make such a nice new friend.

And so was the squirrel.

And the rabbit thought the squirrel

had pretty hair.

And nice eyes also.

And the squirrel thought the rabbit

was really nice too.

And then, the rabbit

worked up his courage...

...and asked the squirrel

if he could have...

...just the littlest squirrel kiss.

And the squirrel thought

it just wasn't the right time...

...in her busy squirrel life

to be kissing any rabbits...

...even though this particular rabbit

was very sweet.

And the rabbit got shut down, did he?

That's all right.

But he was still thinking maybe...

...Scuba Steve could get

a squirrel kiss...

...so somebody's getting some action.

Good night, Scuba Steve.

Good night, Frankenstein.

Good night, Sonny.

Good night, Layla.

Don't get caught with any girls.

It's your first day. Take it slow.

I'll meet you after school

at 2:
30, right out front.

You're not staying?

No, I gotta go get you

some more ketchup.

I don't like these kids.

I don't either,

but shouldn't we give them a chance?

How's this?

Here are the magic sunglasses.

You put them on

if you feel scared, okay?

I lost you.

I don't know where you are.

I'm sorry.

Oh, there you go.

You go inside and make some friends.

Oh, yeah, that's a good hug.

All right. Go inside.

I'm gonna miss you.

Hi, I like your hat.

What's your name?

- Might as well...

- Leave a message!

- Might as well...

- Leave a message!

Mr. Gerrity, this is Arthur Brooks

from Social Services I got good news

We may have found

a family for Julian

Give me a call back

as soon as possible

so we can set up a meeting Bye

Sierra Club Legal Department.

Can I speak to Layla Maloney?

Layla, line four.

You're a lawyer?

What are you doing?

Waiting for Julian so I can have

somebody to play with.

- What are you doing?

- I'm swamped.

I gotta do my laundry

on my lunch hour.

I was gonna do my laundry today too.

Where are you going?

There's a place nearby,

Suds, on Bleecker.

I know that place.

Maybe I'll see you there then.

Maybe. I gotta go.

I bought tickets,

and the show was the night before

Maybe it was a mistake

That's nice, but you don't know

what's going down on the streets.

It's hard to know what's going down...

...when you're in an office

seven days a week, Mr. Tollbooth.

You're not gonna tell me

to get a real job.

No. You're a big boy.

It's cool you only work

one day a week.

These are the cutest things

I've ever seen.

I know.

I have them in yellow.

I wear them when I work out.

It's great what you're doing

with Julian while you got him.

Yeah, well, I got him.

I read an article that said...

...the most important influences

in a kid's life are his friends.

They said that?

Just hope he's not hanging out with

drug dealers and delinquents in school.

I'm kidding.

I know. I know.

Man, this Yoo-hoo is good.

You know what else is good?

Smoking dope.

I ain't going to rat you out.

Puffing the cheeba.

Go by the seesaw, smoke a J.

You know what I'm talking about?

I have a bellybutton.

You have a bellybutton?

We all have bellybuttons.

And we all love Yoo-hoo.

Especially with a little rum.

What's rum?

You don't know?

Rumpelstiltskin?

RumpelstiItskin's a good man.

So are you guys.

Stay clean. Stay focused.

Frankenstein,

have fun with your friends.

Why are you scratching so much?

I have ecza...

Eczema? Gross.

How do I make it stop itching?

I don't know. You scratch it.

SpaghettiO's. Do you like

SpaghettiO's?

Dented cans are half price.

Microsoft went down three points.

We gotta save some money.

Here, give it a shot.

That's it, boy.

Put it in there. Feels good.

Hi, Sonny.

Hi, Sonny's friend.

His name's Frankenstein.

Hi, Frankenstein. Remember me?

Help me. I'm lost.

I don't know where I am.

You don't gotta do that.

You guys wear the same size

T-shirt. That's cool.

I heard you did laundry

with my sister.

She said we did laundry?

Where I'm from, it's called

doing the hibbity-dibbity.

I got eczema.

Well, then you shouldn't scratch it.

Don't tell him what to do.

He can scratch.

- Scratch.

- Is that better?

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

You know about kids?

I thought you were a foot doctor.

It's not doctor stuff. It's common

sense. Scratching spreads rashes.

This is something

you learned at Hooters.

- What the hell is he doing?

- He's shopping.

Microsoft went down three points.

That's good.

See you later, Frankenstein.

Stay away from the frozen-food section.

Your b*obs'll harden.

Isn't Little Italy the greatest?

I like it. Everyone always tells me

to hang out in the Village and SoHo.

That's all right.

But you gotta respect a place where

the fatter you are, the cooler you are.

Last time, he was with

a different girl. I guess he ate her.

I went to Coney Island today

with the little boy.

You gotta take a look at this.

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