Big Daddy Page #6

We had a blast together.

He's so happy.

He is such a good boy.

If I have a kid of my own,

I hope he's half as cool as that kid.

Is he picking your nose?

Yeah, he was picking his own all day...

...so I figured he could borrow mine.

- Sweet.

He must be miserable

without you right now.

No, he's in good hands.

Look at Brad's body.

Not an ounce of fat on it.

- What?

- Don't worry. I like yours better.

I got two queens, two jacks

and an ace.

- I win.

- Why do you win?

I got a two, a four, a ten,

an eight and a six.

I don't understand.

Why do you win?

- Because I win.

- What's the name of that game?

I win.

I'll get it!

- What's up?

- I'm looking for Kevin Gerrity.

He's in China. Who are you?

Arthur Brooks, New York City

Social Services. I'm confused.

Chinatown. He loves those egg rolls.

I've tried contacting him several times

and he hasn't responded.

I'm concerned.

Ixnay on the ketchupnay.

- Have him call me.

- All right.

My body's definitely better than his.

Without question.

It took you a long time to pencil me in.

You work all the time.

I know. I'm excited.

You're excited.

How long you been this crazy?

I guess ever since

I was a little girl.

See, my mom got married really young

and pretty much just raised us kids.

So when my dad took off...

...she wasn't left

with a lot of options.

And I think that's when I decided...

...that I never wanted to end up

in that situation.

That's actually a good reason

to be working.

I guess I feel like I gotta kick ass

while there's ass to be kicked.

You kick that ass during the day,

but at night you have fun with Sonny.

The Best of Times

Are when I'm alone with you

Some rain, some shine

Two guys you were best friends with in

law school fell in love with each other?

Is that strange for you?

No. Nothing changed, really.

They watch a different kind

of porno now. But that's it.

My God! This is Corinne's place?

If the girls at Hooters

could see her now.

- Do you want your ass kicked?

- I'm just kidding around, Layla.

You're afraid to get involved

and you got a lot of work, but...

...when I'm not with you, I'm thinking

of you. Do you have that going on?

Maybe.

Maybe we should try a kiss out.

We owe it to ourselves to see

if we should move to the next level.

I'm not sure.

Me either. It's just that

you kissed Scuba Steve.

Ever since then,

he's strutted around bragging...

..."I got a kiss the first night.

After three times, you got nothing."

- He said that?

- Come on.

Let's just give it a shot

just so I can have some dignity.

All right?

Oh, my God!

Gross!

Did I witness the first kiss?

Yeah, you did.

Thanks a lot for showing up.

Layla, you didn't actually

enjoy that, did you?

I don't know. I'm going upstairs.

Wash your mouth out. He's dirty.

And he's poor.

What do you got in the bag, Corinne?

Some chicken wings? Booby tassels?

Shut up.

You have a good sleep.

Pleasant Hooters.

Come on, come on!

This is where we hang our jackets.

This is my hook.

That's a capertillar.

A caterpillar.

- That's right, a capertillar.

- Capertillar, all right.

- Staying clean, pal?

- Yes.

You drink the booze, you lose.

Remember that, punk.

I'm Julian's teacher, Ms. Foote.

- You his father?

- I'm Kevin Gerrity.

Do you have some time to go over some

things that have been bothering me?

Sure.

Go take a walk, pal.

Julian has been displaying

some odd behavior.

He spilled glue on the floor

and didn't tell anyone.

He covered it with newspaper.

And then one of our students wore

Rollerblades for show-and-tell.

And Julian tripped him with a stick.

I've never...

Julian found it hilarious.

I like him to express himself freely.

I've really never seen

any problems with that.

Your boy's making the least progress

of any of the children.

Frankly, his personal hygiene

is becoming a cause for concern.

He's the smelly kid in class?

I let him become the smelly kid?

What's wrong with me?

I've had some smelly ones before.

But your son is by far the smelliest.

All right, I got you.

What do you think I should do?

Start by paying more attention

to his schoolwork.

The class is giving a presentation

of the Founding Fathers.

Julian has drawn the part of Benjamin

Franklin, a very important role.

Do what you can to help.

I will turn this all around.

That's a promise.

Thank you very much.

Stinky, let's go.

You got us in trouble.

Did he call him "Stinky"?

Wow, I didn't know this

about George Washington.

Yes, his teeth were made of wool.

Wood.

I sorry. I mix up "D" and "L."

Well, get it right.

Turn that game off, pal.

I got four guys left.

Let's study a little bit.

I don't wanna study.

Give me that.

- You just killed me.

- So what? You'll play later.

You can't tell me what to do.

Really? Let's take a vote.

Who thinks the kid should study?

Who doesn't?

Well, you just lost, two to one.

It's a tie. That guy doesn't count.

He can't even read.

I know. He was just joking around.

Can you hang out here a little bit?

I gotta go do something.

No problem.

Would you like

We'll hop, hop, hop, hop

What do you say

Get the door.

Hi, Julian. How you doing?

I'm Scuba Sam.

Scuba Steve's father.

You see, my boy...

...needs to take a bath.

The only problem is...

...he's afraid to bathe alone.

So I was wondering...

...if maybe you could keep him company

in the tub.

Terrific.

And after the bath, you have to try

and study hard.

Because if you wanna be a member of

the Scuba Squad, you have to be smart.

I could be in the Scuba Squad?

Well, sure. All you have to do

is work hard.

And don't tell a soul

about the Scuba Squad...

...because then everybody will

wanna join.

And one more thing...

...be nice to the delivery guy,

would you?

It's not his fault he can't read.

Take care.

He told me to watch his boat for him.

Said that he wanted to...

...talk to you about

some secret mission.

I have no idea what

you're talking about.

How come I have to wear

a bathing suit?

I don't know the rules...

...with little kids and grownups

and being naked and just sit down.

The good news is you're not

smelling like a foot anymore.

I read something interesting.

You know Benjamin Franklin invented...

...bifocals? That's pretty cool.

What are they?

I'll show you in that book. It might

help you out with your school play.

We'll make this a regular thing.

Bathing and studying

and eating right.

Put your head back.

My grandmother did this to me.

"Oh, boy. When I was a little girl,

frankfurters only cost a nickel."

Can you still have fun?

Yeah, but after you study.

In fact, we gotta get you

dressing differently.

We'll go to Barney's.

Not that Barney.

A more expensive Barney.

All right, one at a time.

That's one.

Two.

See? Urinals are good too.

"Electricity."

Very good.

"Constitution."

That's it.

"Philadelphia."

Smart. Good.

"Fish"?

"Pony"?

"Hip..."

"Hiphop..."

"Hipopynonamous"?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes