Blockers Page #10

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Are you a team player,

or aren't you?

Am I a team player?

I just chugged a 40

with my a**hole.

I'm a team player.

Then get your head in the game.

It's the bottom of the third,

we are down by one,

and there is not a lot

of game left.

There is a lot

of game left, though.

Listen. You have one pass left.

One. One pass.

- Is it rug... rugby?

- You don't have a limit on passing.

Is it Australian-rules

football?

And if it was the third,

I would have the fourth...

You know what? You know

what's happening right now?

Let me tell you what's

happening right now.

Is Kayla and Connor

are sliding into bed.

He's grabbing a condom,

and then he's flicking it

to the side

with a smirk on his face.

That f***ing smirk. No way.

We need a Hail Mary pass.

Are you up for that, son?

- Yes, Coach.

- Well, I can't hear you.

- Yes, Coach. I'm in it.

- I can't hear you!

I can f***ing do this!

Let's go!

Okay, we gotta...

we gotta be quiet.

HUNTER (whispering):

Careful.

All right, go.

Go.

(whispering):

Did you...? Look at that.

(whispering):

Go out that way.

There's a person.

There's a person.

What? F*** you.

Jesus Christ.

RON (singsongy):

I'm gonna get you.

(chuckles)

Not if I get you first.

(hooting like a monkey)

(piano plays discordant notes)

No, no. Get away from here.

- I'm f***ing out.

- Mitchell, in. - Get in. (gasps)

- RON:
Cath?

- CATHY:
Ron, no talking.

Come on, we had a deal.

We have to find each other

by sensing each other's musks.

Can't use our voices.

(heavy, rumbling footsteps)

(cell phone buzzing)

(Cathy hooting)

Here, kitty, kitty.

I can smell that musk.

(Cathy hisses, purrs)

(Cathy chuckles)

- (Cathy screams, grunts)

- RON (chuckling): Oh. Yeah.

- (slapping)

- Yeah, yeah, I like the sound of that.

CATHY:

Oh!

RON:

Oh! Hey.

You want to touch first,

that works for Ronnie.

You want me to touch you?

- Help yourself.

- You want me to touch you?

- Yes.

- I'm gonna touch you hard.

- Do it. Do it.

- How about I touch you with my nails, baby?

- Let's have it.

- Oh, oh, yeah.

- Oh, wow.

- CATHY:
Your hair is so sexy, babe.

Your grip is unbelievable.

RON:

I want you to touch me

where I like.

My balls, you know?

CATHY:
Oh, you'd like me

to touch your balls.

You want me to touch

your balls, do you?

- RON:
Yes, I do.

- CATHY:
How badly do you

want me to tug at your balls?

RON:
I want you

to rip them off my body.

- That's what I want.

- Mm, I don't really believe you.

I don't believe

you want it bad enough.

RON:

I want it bad. Do it. Come on.

- Really? How bad?

- I want it so bad that my balls

- are going to explode.

- Ooh, are they gonna explode

into a million little pieces?

Well, let me tell you

something, darling.

It is your lucky day.

Because it's Christmas for you.

- (groans)

- RON:
Let's go.

Come on. Come on, do it.

- You there?

- What, this isn't hard enough?

- RON:
Let's go. Come on.

- CATHY:
Harder?

RON:

Come on, do it, do it.

- I'm waiting.

- Okeydokey.

CATHY (grunts):

Oh, yeah, you like that?

Hey, man, I don't judge

people's sex sh*t.

That was ridiculous and stupid.

Way to take one

for the team, guys.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Here it is.

"The police came

to the lake house.

Almost lost my flower

but didn't quite work out."

- Flower? - Flower?

- He said that? He's a boy.

LISA:

Hub-uh-uh, hub-uh-uh...

"Heading

to the Park West Hotel.

- We've got the Grand Lux Suite."

- Suite?

"Looks like the little boy

is becoming a man."

F***ing dork.

Okay, so that was

ten minutes ago.

So they haven't had sex yet.

We can still catch 'em.

Okay, let's do this.

I am free, yeah, yeah

Come water me, oh, oh

Love you so,

but if you don't

I have to leave,

oh, no, whoo

It's hot, I think I wanna

kick off both of my socks

I can feel it boilin' up

in this pot

A closed mouth don't get fed,

is you hungry or not?

Like brr-brr, operator,

caboose like choo-choo

Bless my trainer, thank God,

thank God, thank God

I'm gettin' thicker,

and I got 'em sweatin'

In the middle of the winter

Get up,

I don't get dehydrated

I moisturize it daily

I am my inspiration

- I am my inspiration

- Get up

I am free, yeah, yeah

Come water me, oh, oh

Love you so,

but if you don't

Then I have to go.

Hey.

- Hey.

- Hey.

How's she doing?

Is she okay?

No, she's not doing okay.

She's bummed.

She doesn't even want to kiss.

And I love kissing.

Give me your room key.

- What? Why?

- Yeah.

Give me your room key,

and then bring her up

in like 15 minutes.

- Okay.

- Yes.

Thanks. You're the man.

Thank you for this.

(sighs)

How we supposed to find them

in this place?

It's got like 20 rooms.

HUNTER:

I'm sorry, what the f***

are you talking about?

20? It's got like 200.

What? 20?

Grand Lux Suite

is on the top floor.

HUNTER:

Go, go, go, go.

Move. Hurry, Lisa!

Dance, dance, dance, dance,

dance, dance, dance

Make it clap like this

Dance, dance,

dance, dance...

(sighs)

What am I doing here?

(door opens)

Oh, my God. (gasps)

Oh, my God, my favorite.

That's so sweet.

(gasps) Oh, my God.

This is a dream.

(gasps) It's, like, perfect.

That is... It's so nice.

You're so sweet.

It actually wasn't me.

It was Kayla.

She wanted you

to have the perfect night.

That's why it looks so good.

Well, why do you look so good?

(laughing):

You're such a dork.

I-I know.

- Oh, my God. (gasps)

- (Austin chuckles)

Not as smooth as I could.

Let me get my shoes.

(mouths)

Kayla?

Nobody move. Where's Kayla?

Kayla? Kayla?

Get that out of here.

Now, how's this work?

Is this...?

- No, just leave it.

- Okay, cool.

- It's difficult.

- Mm-hmm.

Play sports.

Mwah. Mwah.

Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.

Mwah.

And that's that.

So, you, uh,

sure you want to do this?

Yeah.

Yes. F*** yeah.

You're gonna...

you're gonna penis me.

- Yep.

- First, I'm gonna...

I'm just gonna touch it.

- You want to touch it? Yeah, you can touch it.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, go for it. Yeah.

- Okay, just, like...

Oh! Wow!

Okay. That is, like,

the greatest feeling

I've ever had

in my entire life. (moans)

Really?

It doesn't just feel like

a super dry hand of a friend?

No. Nope.

Okay, so...

do you want to, um...

put it in?

No.

Okay.

- I can't. I'm sorry.

- You know what?

Look, we don't ha... (yells)

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

- Holy sh*t!

- Right there. Look at all of it.

Oh, my gosh! I gotta get over.

- Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- (Sam chuckling)

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I just...

- It's okay.

- I was thinking about it and you,

and then it just... I'm sorry.

- (Chad panting)

- (Sam chuckles)

My God.

You're amazing.

I know we're still virgins,

but I feel different, you know?

Yeah.

I know.

You ready to, uh, do this?

Wait.

Wait. Um...

Ah, sh*t.

Sh*t.

Maybe Julie was right.

Like, maybe losing

your virginity

doesn't have to be perfect,

but...

I feel like it should

just be, like,

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