Blockers Page #11

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a little bit more special

than this, you know?

- Yeah.

- Like, not cheesy, but...

Like, if I was hard-pressed

right now,

I don't think I could remember

your last name.

- It's Aldrich.

- Aldrich.

I thought it was Ostrich.

I-I didn't realize

that you're a virgin.

- You know?

- Yeah.

Um, but, like,

I'd still be down to do it,

but maybe, like, you know,

when we get to know each other

a little more.

Like, maybe Monday

or something?

- Yeah.

- Not to, like, plan it and be weird, but, like...

No, no, I can look

at my schedule

- and see if it's... (chuckles)

- (laughing):
Okay.

Pencil it in.

Um, yeah, that's cool.

- Okay, cool.

- Um, let's just relax.

We could do, like, some

light journaling or something.

Yeah, yeah, we could...

we could do that.

Or we could do,

like, other stuff.

Yeah? Like what?

Like...

not sex, but...

I'm still down for pleasure.

(Connor chuckles)

(exhales sharply)

You got this.

Hey, guys. What's up?

Anyone seen Sam?

Anyone seen Sam?

Chad!

F***.

Get out of the way.

(grunts) Jesus!

(both groaning)

What the f...?

You again?

- You!

- What the f***?

What's your beef with me, dude?

I don't know

who the f*** you are!

I'm Jake motherfucking Donahue.

That name means nothing to me.

Do you know what it's like

to be humiliated

in front of everyone you know

and have to seek redemption

for that?

Actually, yes, I do.

Kayla? Kayla?

Kayla? Get the hell away

from my daughter,

you little piece of sh*t!

- Dad, what the...?

- (Connor screams)

KAYLA:

Oh, my God!

You okay?

He didn't hurt you, did he?

What? No, he didn't hurt me.

Holy sh*t! Connor.

- CONNOR:
Ow.

- Oh, my God, are you okay?

I'm actually totally fine.

Connor, I'm so sorry.

- Are you okay, though?

- Yeah, please...

Are you sure?

Dad, what the...

what are you doing here?

I've been following you around

all night.

Are you ser...? Oh, my God.

You've been following me?

- Are you crazy?

- You gave me no choice.

You're in over your head

with this kid.

I am not some pathetic

damsel in distress

that needs saving.

- I can handle myself.

- No, you can't.

- Yes, I can.

- No, you can't.

- Yes, I can.

- Kayla, you can't.

And that's why I'm here.

It's my job.

Oh.

Yeah, so you just don't think

I can make my own decisions

and handle myself.

That really f***ing sucks.

(sighs) Kayla...

Kayla, I'm just trying

to figure this thing out.

God. Why is sex even bad?

(sighs)

I-I don't know.

I don't know. It's...

It's not... You know, it's...

I don't know.

I'm...

I'm just trying to be

the best dad I can be.

Well, you are.

You taught me everything.

You built me up.

Made me strong.

You made me into who I am.

Like, that's... (chuckles)

You did not have

to save me tonight, Dad.

You taught me how to do that

a long time ago.

And I love you for it.

Best coach ever. (chuckles)

Thank you. Thank you.

- (sniffling)

- Oh, Dad, come on.

Come on, toughen up.

It was just really nice

what you said.

(sniffs)

It's good. It's good.

I mean it.

Thanks. I feel like...

like Phil Jackson when he

was coaching the Bulls,

and... and then the...

and they were so good.

- (Kayla chuckles)

- (Mitchell sniffs)

- That's how I feel right now.

- Yeah.

AUSTIN:
I should have taken

my socks off first.

(both laughing)

Now, I'm just warning you,

I've practiced a few times,

- but this might not go that well.

- That doesn't look right.

- Yeah, all right.

- I think you need another one.

- I think we need another one, too.

- Wait, wait.

We have to do our dance.

- We have to. Like, yeah, yeah.

- What, now?

- Naked?

- No, get me one of those, um...

the hotel robes.

I want to feel fabulous.

(laughing):

Okay.

Coming right up, milady.

Your shadow running around

It's funny how things

never change

In this old town

So far

(chuckling)

From the stars...

AUSTIN:
We're gonna christen

every corner of this room.

And when we're done,

let's FaceTime my parents.

JULIE:

Okay, but right now,

I want you to stare

into my eyes.

- AUSTIN:
What?

- JULIE:
Mm-hmm.

I just want, like,

a real connection.

AUSTIN:
So you just want me

to look straight into your eyes

for the next three minutes

and 37 seconds?

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Wish I was there

with you now

If the whole world

was watching

I'd still dance with you

Look at me.

Drive highways and byways

To be there with you

Over and over

the only truth

Everything comes back

to you

(electrical buzzing)

I saw that you moved on

with someone new

In the pub that we met

He's got his arms

around you

It's so hard

So hard

And I want to tell you

everything

The words I never got to say

the first time around

And I remember everything

From when we were

the children

Playing in this fairground

Wish I was there

with you now

'Cause if the whole world

was watching, I'd still...

(knocking)

- Dad?

- Where is he?

- What are you doing here?

- Chad?

Hey, Chad, you motherf***er.

Oh, my God, are you kidding me?

Did he make you do something

you don't want to do?

'Cause I don't care if he's

the f***ing coolest kid

in school.

I'm gonna shove his fedora

so far up his ass,

it'll be a hat.

No, Dad, we didn't do it.

All right? And even if we did,

it would be none

of your business.

It's just,

I was worried about you.

Well, that's a first.

I deserve that. (sighs)

Sam, I gotta tell you

something,

and I'm just gonna say it.

(Hunter groans)

(Hunter sighs)

Sam, I have realized

over the last few years...

...that I have made

a big mistake in my life.

What, like cheating on my mom?

Well, no. Marrying your mom.

But no, that...

that wasn't a mistake,

because then I wouldn't

have had you.

(stammers)

I've made lots of mistakes,

but th-the big mistake...

is that I let what happened

between your mom and I

get in the way

of our relationship.

I'm sorry.

And I hope that we

can start over and...

build up our relationship again

because...

you're my only kid.

And I'm your only dad.

Well, Frank is...

F*** Frank.

(chuckles)

Frank's fine.

Dad, can I tell you

something now?

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, anything.

I'm a lesbian.

(quietly):

Give me your hand.

What does your mom think?

She doesn't know.

You told me

before you told your mom?

- Yeah.

- (crying):
That's big news.

She doesn't know?

- You didn't tell Frank?

- No.

(Hunter sobbing)

(sighs, sniffs)

Okay. Over.

(crying):

Crying is over.

What do your girlfriends think?

No, I'm too nervous.

I can't tell them.

You're nervous

to tell Kayla and Julie?

It's just... I don't want

to lose my two best friends.

This is the stuff you tell

the people you care about.

You think they're not gonna

support you because you're gay?

They would support you

if you were a vampire.

They would support you more.

- With all the Twilight sh*t.

- (Sam laughs)

- Do we still like Twilight?

- Definitely not.

(laughing):

No, no.

Oh, God.

Thanks for showing up.

Really.

But you should probably leave

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