Blockers Page #3

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- This is gonna make tonight

- even more perfect.

- Yeah.

- It's gonna be the three of us!

- Yes!

(all laughing)

HUNTER:

Prom night, motherfuckers!

- (whooping)

- I came to dance, dance, dance, dance...

Yeah! Rudy, it's coming up.

Bear left, bro.

Yeah! Jesus, Rudy.

What the f***? Yeah!

Oh, my God,

it's my f***ing dad.

Hands, hands, hands, hands

You, you...

("Dynamite" by Taio Cruz

playing)

HUNTER:

Yeah! Prom night, b*tches!

(Hunter whooping)

- Yeah!

- Oh, God, it's him.

Oh, what's up? Yo!

(singing along to stereo):

We gonna light it up

Like it's prom night

Taio Cruz.

Like it's prom night.

- You got this, girl.

- Don't mess this up,

because that limo

is totally awesome.

Sam. Sam.

Taio Cruz.

Whew!

(music stops)

Sorry.

- Sorry. Ho!

- (sighs)

Whew! (grunts)

You're so grown up. (chuckles)

Dad, what are you doing here?

You think I'm gonna miss

the most important night

of your young life?

(chuckles)

- That's graduation.

- No.

Graduation's for losers.

Didn't even go

to my graduation.

But prom night...

that's a big one.

Prom was the best night

of my life.

I think about it every day,

and I want you to have

the same experience.

Tonight, you have fun.

You don't worry

about any rules that your mom

or Frank laid down.

No one gives a f***

about Frank.

All I know is this...

you look amazing,

and I would love

to grab a quick pic.

No. Go stand

with the other parents,

and try to be normal.

Sam, I'm not a normal parent.

I'm not gonna...

Just... I don't even f***ing...

- Holy sh*t, you invited Hunter?

- No, of course not.

I haven't talked to him since

he and Brenda got divorced.

- You know he calls me all the time?

- What?

He wants to play darts.

I don't play darts.

- Darts?

- You kidding me?

- Anyway, I can't hang out with him.

- HUNTER:
Oh!

- I'll be guilty by association.

- No, no.

- (grunts, whoops)

- I will never forgive that babysitter f***er.

- Hey, Hunter.

- Hey, man. Good to see you.

- What up?

- Hey, all right?

Mwah!

- Ah.

- (Hunter laughing)

Did you have another daughter?

I did. I did. Thank you.

- It's... it's been wonderful.

- Yeah.

I'm thinking about

doing that again.

You know,

the whole second round.

I think a lot of dads kind of

get it right

the second time around.

Or, you know, you could

just raise the one

that you have.

Well, I did.

Too late for that.

Raised. Job done.

Hi, honey.

LISA:

Actually, I heard,

if you spend

a significant amount

of time with your children,

that you develop

some kind of, like,

telekinetic bond with them.

- Is that true?

- I've heard. Mm-hmm.

I hope it's not true,

'cause if it is,

Sam has been looking

at a lot of Asian porn.

- (Hunter chuckling)

- My wife's Asian.

Indian.

That's Asian.

This is more like, uh...

It looks like when...

the typical Asian.

- Yep, good seeing you, man.

- Uh, okay.

Good to see you, brother.

You know what I mean.

Who's this guy? Who are you?

Dad, this is my date.

Hi. Uh, it's great

to meet you, sir.

- I'm-I'm Connor.

- Connor and I...

we're in the same

science class.

We're lab partners.

Yeah, we're working

on our chemistry.

(chuckles)

CONNOR:

Uh...

Um, I'm gonna get a napkin,

if that's cool.

Okay.

Okay, so, uh...

with this, it's, uh, one shot

to the groin, stab and drag.

I refuse to believe

she couldn't do better

- than that loser.

- Oh, I think Chad seems nice.

HUNTER:

Chad? No, Chad's amazing.

- Look at that fedora.

- Yeah.

I'm not talking about Chad.

I'm talking about

f***ing Frank. What a dick.

LISA:
Frank does not seem

like a dick to me.

He seems like a nice guy.

And you know what?

Don't blame Brenda.

It's really hard being alone.

HUNTER:
Well, let's just agree

to disagree on Frank.

Oh, here they come.

Okay, just be cool.

He's gonna talk about his

tow truck company instantly.

I guarantee you he's gonna

throw that sh*t in my face.

Be cool, be cool, be cool.

(clears throat) Brenda.

Hunter.

Frank.

- Lisa.

- What'd I do?

I'm sorry. I don't know why I

just said your name like that.

This is so nice. Thank you.

You're welcome.

- (sighs)

- Okay.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Lis, Lis, Lis, Lis, Lis.

- I got to go get Julie's wrap.

- Mm.

(sighs) Were you gonna

let our daughter

take a f***ing Lyft to prom?

What is this, Afghanistan?

How'd you pay for that limo,

Hunter?

'Cause I know your credit's

in the shitter.

It is.

'Cause I bought your mom

a wheelchair.

She's gonna pay you back.

With what money, Brenda?

Can she pay me back

with crackers that she steals

from restaurants?

I don't want

to talk about your mom.

I don't want to talk

about her wheelchair.

All I care about

is that my daughter

has the greatest night

of her life.

If it was her greatest night,

you would not be here.

Oh, what a sick burn.

FRANK:
All right,

all right, all right.

- Good.

- Yo, wait, yo, yo. We're all adults here.

Let's not make it uncomfortable

if you're gonna be around more.

- Let's have a beer sometime.

- Okay, first of all,

I don't want to go

to have a beer with you.

I don't want to hang out

with you. I don't like you.

I don't like your wife.

I don't like your guys' deal.

I think it sucks

and it's played out.

Hey, if you ever change

your mind, here's my card.

Ah, here we go.

"Tow with Frank."

Where'd you come up

with that name?

- It's very straightforward.

- All right, I'll tell you this.

The design of that card

is pretty cool.

And my favorite part

is right f***ing there.

Oh, God.

BRENDA:
Wow, that is just...

No, that's us, Frank.

- You know what?

- I got it. I got it.

You've taken about 15

goddamn selfies.

- Yeah!

- All right.

All right. Cool.

Bye, Mom.

- Have fun, honey. Okay.

- I will.

Bye, Dad.

Remember... stab, turn, drag.

I don't have the knife, Dad.

Yes, you do.

Check your clutch.

(Kayla groans)

Hey, uh, it's been

a pleasure, sir.

I really, um,

it's... I'm honored.

- (hands clap)

- Oh.

Intense, professional grip.

Cheers.

Take it easy, big guy.

Hey, uh, you guys have

a good night, too, you know.

MARCIE:

Thank you.

See that smirk?

What was up with that smirk?

You are intense.

- HUNTER:
Sam. Hey.

- Oh, hey, Mr. Lockwood.

- Hey.

- Nice to meet you.

- Chad, yes, come on, man. Bring it in.

- Yes. Oh.

Good. Yeah.

My hat.

- I want to talk to Sam real quick.

- Yeah. Okay.

Uh, let-let me get

a picture real quick. Chad.

- Oh. Okay.

- Real quick photo. Just so fast.

Just don't even f***

with a filter.

- Just-just plain.

- Okay. Here we go.

- There we go. And there.

- And then you want to get

a quick one of me and Chad

real quick?

- That sounds cool.

- Here you go.

- Okay. - Yep.

- Sammy, here you go, baby.

Real quick.

Just a couple fun ones.

CHAD:
What are we doing?

Uh... like this?

- Bros.

- (camera clicks)

HUNTER:

Duck lips.

- (camera clicks)

- And then just kind of a...

Julie?

Can I talk to you a second?

We got to go. I love you.

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