Blonde and Blonder Page #5

might have another idea.

Ugh, you know, easy with the

bumps. Okay?

You're an adult,

control your bladder.

It's mind over matter.

Well it ain't working.

Okay? It's not working.

Hey, Gardenia, why don't you try

controlling my bladder?

Huh? Excuse me?

Yeah, why don't you try

controlling my bladder?

Yes, have a nice, long conversation

with my full bladder.

You know, you could reason with it

and you can lay some guilt trips on it.

Hey, Gardenia!

Aren't you the Sigmund

Freud of bladders?

So that you would know, you know,

how I was feeling

so, like, if I were

dreaming about waterfalls,

and I'm feeling like I'm about to explode

or something like that,

Alright! Alright!

I'll pull over at the next stop.

Thank you.

Just promise me you won't use

that creepy voice.

The bladder voice?

Yes! Yes!

It scares me.

(Dawn) I'm so glad we met.

(Dee) Me too.

I'm so glad we have a job.

(Swan) Now we're--

we're more genius.

(Leo) Yeah, you're

no genius.

(Swan) [mocks] Just because

you took the test doesn't

(Leo) I missed by

one freaking

What frequency is a sperm whale's mating

call measured at? I mean, who knows that?

(Swan) 47 megahertz,

come on!

(Leo) That was lucky.

(Swan) So I'm a genius.

(Leo) No, you're not

a genius, I'm an

(Swan) Whatever. Okay, Leo.

Just don 't lose 'em,

(Leo) I'm not gonna lose

em! Wait a minute,

(Dee) I think we're

getting close.

(Dawn) You think you're

ready for Wong?

(Dee) How can I

not be when it

(Dawn) We're here!

(Dee) Oh, I can't wait

to get in there.

(Dawn) Hm.

(Dawn) Wait a second.

(Dawn) This looks familiar.

(Dee) What?

(Dee) Maybe we should

ask for some help.

(Dee) Oh! Oh!

(Dee) Oh! Good,

here we are.

(Dawn) Let's go.

Hi there.

Hi.

Are you ladies staying here?

Yeah, we're not checked in though.

No problem,

I'll have your bags,

and may I ask you what

is on your back?

Oh, that's Virgil.

He's a turtle.

[chuckles] Isn't he cute?

I'm sorry we actually have a,

uh, very strict no pet policy here.

Um.

What?

It's a back pack.

Yeah, it's fake.

He's a turtle backpack.

Okay! Right this way.

Thank you.

I'll take these.

Oh, excuse me.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Hi.

We'd like to get two rooms with one bed.

No, wait. One room and two beds.

That's right.

A suite.

It's called a suite, right?

Well, we're pretty booked up.

Let's check the computer.

Aw.

That was two beds?

Oh, I'm sorry,

it seems we're out of suites.

(Dawn) We can just take

whatever you have

How about a penthouse?

There you go.

Enjoy your stay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Right this way, ladies.

Excusie.

Here we are, ladies.

If there's anything else that

I can do for you.

Please don't hesitate to ask.

Actually, there's something you could

do for us.

Work on your manners.

No, that's not a good feeling.

Are you okay?

Uh, yeah,

I'm just um,

trying

Wow.

I wonder who's staying there.

Wow. Probably the Shrink of Araby.

Yeah, a Shrek.

Shrek.

(Dee) Wow!

(Dawn) Wow. Look!

They have trees

(Dee) Oh my God!

(Dawn) I'm so excited!

Cool! Look at our room!

(Dee) Oh! There's a pool

in the bedroom!

(Dawn) Oh, look at the fireplace.

Wow, oh, my God!

Wow.

Oh, Jesus.

Hey, that's our suitcase.

Oh my God, this must be our room.

Oh my God!

I'm so excited!

Wait. This is going to be so expensive.

No. Remember they couldn't find us a suite

so they gave us this.

Oh.

Oh, I gotta feed Virgil.

He must be starving.

Poor little boy.

Oh.

No pesticides.

Dee, come look at this!

Come look at this.

What? Oh my God!

Oh my God! We're here!

(both) We're here!

We're here!

Whoopie!

[giggles] We're here!

(both) We're here!

Oh, I can see the sky!

I can see the Big Dipper!

I can too!

Let's get you ready, girlie.

Only one way to accent the tushy.

Okay. Oh,

what are they?

Guess.

Uh, okay.

Miss Sixty.

No, Guess.

Oh, I like this.

Okay. Um,

Frankie B.

They're Guess.

Miss Sixty.

[chuckles] These are Guess.

Okay, okay, just give me a minute.

Forget it. Hey,

check these babies out.

For your legs,

highest heels.

Oh, highest heels.

There are high, higher and highest heels.

Try 'em on.

Huh? They're cute.

I, uh, I didn't know you guys

would be in here.

Uh, uh, the sandwiches

are on the cart.

and, uh, I, uh,

the door was

Oh.

I think this still fits you.

Yeah, let me try.

Arms up.

Okay.

I can do it.

I love this clean air.

So pure, untouched.

Do you know where we look first?

I won't have to.

She'll come to me.

We locate Mr. Wong and we wait.

When the hit goes down we

kill my impostor

and we carry out the job ourselves.

Two dead, a lesson taught, The Cat,

or I should say Kit?

is back on top.

You go get us a room

while I make my presence

a little less known.

Why's everybody staring?

It's a good thing, right?

Yeah.

You know what?

I'll go find Wong, I'll be right back.

Okay.

Excuse me, Miss.

I could use some lady luck.

Would you mind throwing

the dice for me?

Oh, sure.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Don't mention it.

Excuse me.

Hey, where's the information booth?

It's, uh, right over there, Ma'am.

Oh, thanks.

Thank you.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

Yes? Can I help you?

Oh, I hope so.

I'm trying to find Hang

Wong. I think he's French.

Brilliant. I would've thought Italian.

Maybe.

Have you heard of him?

[gasps] Hotel and casino.

They're doing a Dancalicious here.

That's Dee's favorite show. I must

tell her, I'm so excited.

You're here to audition

for Mr. Wong?

Oh, no, we're here to take him out.

That'll be a date he'll never forget.

I'm sure.

You can find him at the casino restaurant.

It's called the Tramonto.

He's always there before the show starts.

The Tramonto.

Starts with a T.

I'll find it.

That's right.

Thanks so much.

Yeah? Sorry.

Dee.

Oh! Hi.

I found Wong.

He's at a restaurant

in the hotel.

That was easy.

[chuckles] He owns the hotel.

Oh my God.

We need the money. No

gambling, no drinking.

Okay, okay.

Drinking's okay.

No gambling.

I don't know how to gamble.

We'll keep a low profile.

We're here for one thing only,

to take out Wong.

I'll be at Tramonto.

In his restaurant.

There's a big sign that says Tramonto

and it's the restaurant underneath it.

Okay, got it.

Have fun.

Okay.

Oh!

(crowd) Oh!

Money plays?

What?

Money plays, Ma'am.

Will you let the money play?

Uh, I don't care.

No more bets.

Thirteen black. We have a winner.

Paying out 10,000.

Would you like to let it ride, Ma'am?

What?

Would you like to let the money ride?

Let the money ride?

Um.

(crowd) Let it ride!

Sure.

All right,

place your bets.

Tra, Tra, uh,

Tram, Tramonto.

Tramonto.

Hello.

Hello. Hm.

Are you sure that's her?

Without a doubt.

I heard her partner tell a total stranger

what she was going to do.

Almost bragging.

cold fish.

She just walks in the front door.

Either she's incredibly brave,

or incredibly stupid.

Come on, I want to watch her moves,

and when she strikes, we pounce.

Hello.

Hi, I'm sorry, Miss Dee,

restaurant is closed for an hour.

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