Blonde and Blonder Page #6

Synopsis: Dee and Dawn are two dim-witted, pink-clad, blond ladies whom meet by accident and try to make a living with their dull lives, until a series of circumstances ensue when after they unwittingly take jobs at a local strip club, they are mistaken for two deadly female brunette assassins known only as the Cat and the Kit whom are hired to kill the club owner whom is a mobster in a witness protection program. With two persistent, but inept, FBI agents on their tail, the ditsy Dee and Dawn try to stay one step head of the law, as well as try to figure out what is really going on.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Dean Hamilton
Production: Empire Film Group
 
IMDB:
2.9
PG-13
Year:
2007
95 min
172 Views


There's a private party.

Oh, for Mr. Wong?

Are you with Mr. Wong's party?

I plan to be.

One moment.

Please wait here.

Thank you.

Mm.

Mr. Wong's assistant will be

joining us shortly.

Don't say anything about his eye.

Oh. Okay.

What kind of candies are these?

They're good.

Candies?

Those are rocks from the

Japanese rock garden.

I hate sushi. Ugh.

Oh!

What is it?

I don't know.

She hit me with something hard.

We have a new casino record!

This is the most fun I've had with

my clothes on!

What's your bet, Ma'am?

You know, I think I'll just let it ride!

Hello.

Are you introduced to Mr. Wong?

Yes, um, you must be Mr. Wong's pirate.

I mean,

ass-- ociate.

Come with me.

Where are you taking me?

To have a little talk.

How could she know? I can even

think that she saw me.

Do you think they're on to us?

No. Nobody's that good unless

they've the sixth sense of a--

Cat.

The lady's room?

You are not supposed to

be in here.

Neither are you.

What?

Why are you here?

Well, I'm here to see,

um, I mean, I'm looking,

Mr. Wong is busy.

I just saw him sitting at a table,

I saw him with my own two eyes.

Who are you?

My name is Dee.

What's your name?

Wun Eye.

But my friends call me Eye.

Ay, ay, ay.

[chuckles nervously]

Well, I hope you and,

I hope we can be friends.

You and, I.

Well, we can get better acquainted.

Okay. Oh!

Jeez, not that kind of friends.

Gosh, you know, you should treat me

a lot better than that.

Okay, you're clean.

Oh, okay, well.

Once in the morning,

once at night.

Is Mr. Wong expecting you?

No, it gonna be a pleasant surprise.

Look, oh shoot,

I mean, listen,

Mr. Capellini hired me to take

Mr. Wong out.

That's a good one. Alright, you

can call me Eye.

You don't think I'm good enough for him?

Sure. You just have to wait in line.

Oh, so he's quite the lady killer, huh?

Oh, yeah. He's a killer.

[chuckles]

Come on, let's go with

Mr. Wong. He'll like you.

You couldn't have come at a better time.

She's good,

I'll give her that.

Sweet talk your way in and then strike.

Excellent.

Too bad I have to kill her.

I have a friend, she

might be looking for me.

She's a really cute blonde. Could you keep

and eye out for her?

Oops. Sorry. Um,

I forgot my purse in the bathroom.

No. No. Stay here. I'll get it.

Okay. Hey, do you have a breath mint?

I have a little bad breath.

Don't want to meet him like that.

No.

But I have a breath spray.

Oh, that's good,

thanks. Oh!

Stay right here.

Okay.

Okay.

Sure.

Oh!

It's that one-eyed guy.

Let's get some practice.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Thanks, guys.

Wow!

As you are fully aware, I do not

work for Capella.

I work for no one.

Yeah. We know.

Mr. Capella just wanted us

to talk to you

one last time.

One last time?

Yeah.

Is that a threat, Mr. Swan?

I don't know.

Hugo and I don't take

kindly to threats.

Whew.

It's going down.

[whispers] It's breath spray.

[whispers] What?

Breath spray.

It's not a gun?

Ah. Okay. Okay.

Uh.

Holy mackerel, I thought I

lost a contact down there.

I got astigmatism I can't

drive without them.

I know.

So, sorry.

Now he knows it's not polite to interrupt

a woman in the bathroom.

Hm.

No obvious weapons.

She's better than I thought.

My turn?

You'll get your turn.

Hello.

[chokes] Hello.

Do you three know each other?

Nope, never seen her before.

Who is she?

Yeah. These are the guys

that hired me to--

to, uh, just show you a good time.

Sorry.

Oh, so you must be Mr. Wong.

Yes, I am Hang Wong.

Ouch!

Please, sit down and join us.

Now, this method I prefer much more.

Friends in Hong Kong give

each other gifts.

You are learning.

Cheers.

Cheers. I'm glad we're all

here together.

Ah!

So, you are a professional girl?

Oh, yeah, I'm a professional.

What is your,

uh, your specialty?

If you don't mind me asking.

My specialty?

Well, um,

I'm a really good dancer,

[chuckles]

and I wanna dance on Broadway!

Oh! Haya, holy!

[chuckles]

Is that so?

Well maybe you'll be interested in my

play Dancalicious.

Dancalicious?

You produce Dancalicious?

I have my hands involved

in so many operations

as I'm sure Mr.

Swan could attest.

I, uh

My God!

Dancalicious!

You know,

I love that musical.

I know every word and I know every lyric.

There's a six o'clock

show tonight.

Perhaps you could join me.

There is? How are we gonna

get a seat?

I mean, that show must be sold out for

at least two years!

No problem,

we'll just kill two ticket holders.

Where did Eye disappear to?

Well you're right there.

Not me, Eye.

Well, I don't know if it's proper English,

but, um, you're still sitting right there.

[chuckles] Hugo. Find him.

Okay.

No, no, no.

Sit down.

Go.

You just told me to go get him.

No, I said Hugo.

Right.

No, no, no. Sit!

Um, you just told me

to go get him.

No, not "You go", Hugo.

[mouths Hugo] Do you want me to stay

or do you want me to go?

I want you to stay.

Eye! Are you here?

Who are you?

The last pretty face you'll ever see.

[screeching] Meow!

[chokes] Agh!

Not bad.

A little messy.

Anyway, let's go talk strategy.

We have a little time. Would you like

to, uh, ride my yacht?

[chuckles] Is that what

they're calling it now?

You can ride my dinghy.

I have to go to the bathroom.

I'm gonna freshen up.

Oh, I got blood on my stole.

I have a feeling tonight will

be very memorable.

[clears throat] Oh! Sorry.

There you are.

I was wondering who left that.

I think I'm a little

anxious about tonight.

Hot date?

Well, kinda.

Very profitable.

But I think Mr.

Wong is so sweet.

You know you should be careful on dates.

A guy might already belong

to somebody else.

Somebody who might get upset

if they feel their territory

is being invaded.

You think he might have a girlfriend?

Something like that.

Or maybe something worse.

Jeez, everybody's

speaking in widdles tonight.

Well, it's a good thing I'm almost

done with him.

It'll be through soon.

Maybe you're through now.

She's the luckiest b*tch that ever lived.

God, I want her now.

Why didn't she kill 'em? She

had 'em right there.

She's toying with 'em, waiting

for the cruelest moment,

She's good,

man, really good.

Yeah, but she seemed so sincere,

so naive, back there.

You don't think maybe we

got the wrong girl?

Nah.

Come on, Kit.

Let's kill the b*tch.

Oh, hello.

Hello, shall we?

Sure.

Can we check on my friend

in the casino?

Of course

Shut up.

Whoa.

Blood.

Who's blood?

I don't know.

It's going into the women's bathroom?

Hello?

Hey, you guys?

She's gosh darn Charles Manson.

But she's not after us, right?

The hell with it,

we're out of here.

Out of the bathroom?

No, out of the country!

Well, uh, but we're we gonna go?

I don't know.

Korea or Iraq.

Cuba! Yeah, Castro will take care of us.

Oh, there she is!

Dee, hi!

Oh, hi,

Wong, I'm Dawn.

Hello.

[chuckles] You'll never

believe this.

I won.

Won what?

About five pounds.

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Rolfe Kanefsky

Rolfe Kanefsky (born 1969) is an American film writer/director who specializes in horror films. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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