Blue Mountain State: The Rise of Thadland Page #3

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going to be that bad.

Thad and I were really

started hitting it off before

he left school last year.

I'm in. I'm doing this.

Nice.

Screw it. I'm in too.

Gentlemen, before we

get ahead of ourselves,

I'd like to remind you, all

the man we'd be inviting back

into this house.

You are the very same man who

viscously burned down

a field of my weed,

just so he could get

god high.

I understand where you're

coming from, harmon.

Trust me,

there is no other way

to save the goat house.

All right,

you are the king.

Huh?

So you're in?

I'm in!

Yes!

So, we're doing this.

All right, we are.

All right.

Bring it in.

Thadland on three, baby.

Let's go, baby.

One, two, three.

Thadland!

You guys have any clue

what the hell is going on,

on this last page here?

You think he wants to fly?

No. It's a metaphor.

Yeah.

He wants to get so high

it feels like he's flying.

No. He's a plane.

I had a dream the other night

that I was a plane,

and I crashed and burned.

But then I woke up

and I realized

that my bed was just on fire

because I fell asleep

with a lit cigarette.

Um, I'm sorry.

Where did you come from?

Heaven.

Oh, this is your friend!

Right, well, welcome

to the goat house!

It's magical.

Yeah. I can feel it.

Like, the magic.

Right.

And I like the

magic here too.

Yeah, they just cut the grass.

Oh.

Uh, so... we're...

We're throwing

a party this weekend.

You should come.

I'll be there.

Oh, good.

Yeah, we'll be there.

Skin it.

Okay.

All right. Oh! Ha!

Yeah, it's me.

Sammy, how do I look?

Wow, I love that suit.

Yeah?

It looks just like

the one thad drew.

Hey, if he drew it,

we're gonna make it happen.

I don't want to give him

any reason not to

buy us this house.

All right?

Guys, I'm beginning to think

thad's not coming.

Oh, he's coming.

I know it.

What the hell

is that sound?

Is that a...

Is that a f***ing

hovercraft?

He's here!

He's here!

Hey, thad.

You're hand's on

a $30,000 coat

right now, moran.

Hey, cool suit,

ass wipe.

Hilarious.

You're the one who told

me wear... never mind.

You remember

the guys right?

Donnie.

Hey, buddy.

Oh, thad.

It's so great to see you,

thanks for coming by here!

Who are you?

Sammy!

You know you used to call

me mascot, or houseboy!

I wore the goat suit!

I'd go, "go team, go."

I was out there.

There was someone

in that thing?

Hey, back off.

Oh, no, it's okay I'm just

talking to my friend.

Oh, your friend?

I don't think

he knows you man.

Well...

I don't know you.

I've never met you.

I have.

I just don't remember you.

I don't think so.

I have met you, your face

isn't ringing a bell.

I've never met you

in my life bro.

Okay. Thad.

Are you ready?

I drew this thing

when I was 10.

I've been waiting for...

Thirteen. Thirteen years.

I was gonna say that.

All right then, let's just

step right up here.

Welcome

to thadland.

I...

Fifty-four strains

of marijuana?

Yep. And all the most

expensive in the world.

Cocaine!

United nations of cocaine.

Purest strains from

around the world.

Tested

each one personally.

Just one rule about

the cocaine room.

Guys, don't die.

Or do, who gives a sh*t.

More coke for me!

Boobie bomb!

Oh!

Yeah, baby!

Booze room.

Every kind of booze ever?

Yep, just pull a tap.

Woo!

My ass is getting

pounded tonight!

Hammered. Your ass

is getting hammered.

Tomato, potato, bro beans.

Is the champagne from France?

Nope. California.

Good. Everything good

comes from America.

France can suck my balls!

And here we have...

Mojito hot tub!

Well?

It's perfect, moran!

Horny?

Grab a sloot!

Thirsty? Grab a mojito!

I'm, I'm good thanks.

You haven't even seen

the best part yet!

I wanna see.

Do you wanna

see the best part?

Yeah.

Let's go see the best part.

I can't believe

i drew this.

I'm a frigging genius!

And your most genius

invention is coming,

my humble friend.

In thadland,

it always snows cocaine.

So? Thad?

What do you

have to say?

What do I have to say?

F*** you Walt Disney,

you unimaginative

piece of sh*t!

This is thadland!

Hey, thad,

going to

a butcher,

ask your friends

for opinions.

Like which

of those sloots I'd bang?

That's it guys,

get him the

hell out of here.

Goat fans have spoken.

They want

Marty Daniels out.

And in other news...

Forget them.

You guys are gonna

be fine this year.

Plus, you're

not that old.

I lost my virginity

the day Kennedy died.

One more, please.

Coming right up.

I think

you're amazing.

I mean,

with everything that

you've been through,

the lawsuits,

and losing thad castle

and Craig shilo

and radon randell

and still winning.

We should

be building

your statue,

not bitching

about your age.

Would you like

to take a ride

on my motorcycle?

Ahhh. Mmm.

Mmm.

Oh, f*** me!

Alex!

Hey! What's up?

Alex, so good

to see you.

You too.

This party

is bonkers!

I just did a half

hour in the

bath-salt bubble room.

I bit like

seven people!

Working it!

Congrats!

Hey, come

with me,

I wanna show

you around!

Okay. Oh, I wanna

show you

my nipples.

Oh, okay.

Coming.

Locked and

loaded, sir.

Oh, sweet.

Hey, everybody!

Open your mouths!

Free drugs!

Ahhh! My face!

Oh, god damn it.

My face!

That's why we

have medics!

Go see a medic!

Help.

Cocaine!

Hey, welcome back.

Coach?

I just wanted to

stop by and congratulate

you on everything.

And we're really

proud of you.

Oh, yeah!

What happened

to you?

Oh, I hit

a pothole.

I was riding

my motorcycle.

And, everything's fine,

I'm okay,

everything's great.

Yeah! Yeah!

Me too!

Never been better!

We should

hangout sometime.

Definitely.

We definitely

gotta do that.

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah. Yeah.

Don't go. Don't go.

I miss you.

What?

Huh?

Oh, no.

I thought I...

No. No. No. No.

Hey uh...

Oh, wait...

I... no, I thought

you were gonna

say something else.

No, no, no.

Hey, have fun.

Take care

of yourself.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Keep training,

you look good.

Oh, yeah.

You look

great too, coach.

Very handsome.

Hey, thad.

Hey, man.

Hey, uh...

Thad, thad, thad,

thad, thad,

thad, thad,

we've got,

we've got bit

of a situation, dude.

Hit me!

What the hell

was that?

You said,

"hit me."

What the... what?

I'm sorry.

Okay, look,

i don't know what

was going on here,

but we're running

out of drugs.

The party's running

out of drugs, man.

How the hell

did that happen?

I don't know. I don't know.

Free drugs!

It makes no

sense to me, man.

Because thousands

of people are

here, okay?

I mean, half the

cocaine was reserved

for the carnivals.

But, I mean,

that was reserved.

It's called the

reserve for a reason.

We need that

for the carnival snow.

Sorry, I'm talking so fast.

I'm just really freaking out,

we need that cocaine.

Well, go get Alex

to get more drugs

and fix it! God!

Hey, I already bought

all the drugs east

of the Mississippi,

there's no

more drugs

to buy.

That's not true.

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