Blue Mountain State: The Rise of Thadland Page #4

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We've got drugs.

Who are you?

What? I'm...

I'm the...

I...

You know what?

It doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter.

What maters is,

you need drugs,

harmon and i

have some.

Real premium

sh*t too.

Amazing.

Okay. Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah...

I don't

think that's

a good idea.

Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, no,

no, no, no.

No, no, no,

no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You idiots go

get free drugs,

you'll be my

best friends

for life.

Well sorry, I can't.

No, no, no.

You know what? Done!

Consider it done.

Yeah, yeah we got this.

No, I'm not.

Thank you so much,

we'll get this buddy.

Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah.

I trust this guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Me too, me too, me too.

I told you it's

a bad idea, man.

How much more

of this sh*t do we

have to put up with?

What sh*t?

The titty-whapping,

the groping.

I mean, sure,

it's paying for

my doctorate

in applied physics,

but I don't know if

i can keep doing this.

You're in this

for the money?

You gold

digging b*tch!

I love thad.

I love him!

I wouldn't drink

that if I were you.

Why not silly bear?

It's free booze.

I can think

of a reason.

Whoops!

Whoa, there it is!

I know.

Whoa, there it is!

I've got

your wiener.

I know.

Alex!

Hi.

Hi. I just saw

a woman deep

throat a 40.

Really?

Mmm-hmm, a full 40.

You should go find her.

I am going to

go find her

and Sammy.

Have you

seen Sammy?

No, he's not

in the tub.

This is true.

I'm gonna go

find Sammy.

Bye. Bye.

Don't touch that.

Why not?

Oh, this is awesome!

How long has this

been down here for?

Built it my

freshman year.

It's nothing compared

to my cousin Dennis'

set up back home.

Holy sh*t, what is this,

like steel or something?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Don't touch that.

Don't breath on it,

don't even look at it.

My cousin Dennis

blew up his trailer

just by sneezing

on a tank.

Oh, man,

that means it must

be powerful. Yes!

Thad is gonna love

this then he's gonna

remember my name!

Oh, yes!

Hey look at me.

This isn't a

typical drug, okay.

It's highly unstable.

Yeah, well,

I'm highly unstable

too, my friend.

That's why

i brought Billy.

I figure,

you know,

test it on

him first,

see if he

can handle it.

Animal testing,

Sammy?

Once again,

not a good idea.

You know what?

It's fine.

Billy's a little

f***ing a**hole.

So whatever

happens to him,

happens to him.

Oh, yeah.

Look at his eyes.

Oh, he's

loving this.

You like

that, Billy?

Huh? "Oh, no.

I can't handle

my drugs."

"I can't handle

my drugs."

There you go.

Get your

balloons here!

Hey, man,

i really think

we should have

gone with

a lower dose.

Dude, relax, okay?

Billy's fine.

We're all good.

Oh, sh*t,

there's thad.

Thad, thad,

thad, thad. Listen.

Uh, here's the

drug I was

telling you about.

This?

Yeah, yeah.

Just suck on it,

you'll love it.

This better

be good.

Oh, it will be.

I'll devour

your soul!

It's perfect.

Dick dawg, write this

guy a check.

Oh. No, no,

no need

for payment.

I, uh...

All I need from

you is, uh...

Fiendship. Just,

you know,

remember what my

name and stuff.

How about

a hot sloot instead?

Well, that'll work.

Yeah. It's good.

Tina!

Tina. Hey.

Tina, this is...

Sammy.

And, uh...

Sammy.

This is Tina.

Uh, Tina,

would you mind

showing, uh...

Sammy.

Upstairs and

showing him

a good time?

Okay.

Thank you so much.

Thank you. Ahhh!

Let's go!

Ahhh! Thank you

so much, thad!

I really appreciate.

Thank you, Tina!

You're the best!

Oh, lets go

look at the

pretty white pony

with the

golden horn.

Let's do that, huh?

Want one?

No, thanks.

Hey, don't worry

about her, okay?

It's just a thing.

Just a thing?

I invited

her tonight

to specifically

turn her into

a dyke.

And he can't

keep his

hands off her.

Dude, come on.

You're not mad at him,

you're mad at her.

She's taking

Alex away

from you.

This so reminds

me of my dad.

Um.

He loved horses.

Oh, okay.

I don't know

what you think

is going on

between me

and Alex,

but I like p*ssy.

No, no.

I love p*ssy.

Yeah,

i love p*ssy!

Woo-hoo!

Woo!

Yeah, but before

that you didn't.

And you were

into Alex.

And you

know what,

I don't think

you're gay.

You're college gay.

Which is

totally different.

You're just

killing time

with women.

Okay, now I am

offended. Yeah.

You are

offending me

right now.

What makes you think

you know the first

thing about my gayness?

Well. I'm gay.

What?

Since when?

Since forever.

I just never say

anything about it

because no one

ever asks.

But yeah...

I'm gay.

No way.

Awesome.

Thad. Thad,

it's not

a big deal, okay?

It's a personal

thing and I'd

really appreciate

if we could keep

it that way.

Donnie, absolutely.

Totally agree.

Thank you.

Hey, everybody!

Donnie's gay!

Hey. Seriously, man.

Congratulations, dude.

You're gonna

get so much dick.

Hey, harmon.

Donnie's a gay guy!

I know that.

Again, thad,

it's never been

a big deal.

Let's keep it

that way. Okay?

How's this for

not a big deal?

I'm gonna buy

you a car,

you brave bastard.

Dick dawg,

write this gay

guy a check!

F*** yeah!

It's for the

whole gay

thing, man.

Congrats.

I'm gonna shove

so many things

up your ass.

Let me put it

to you this way,

you can drive

a f***ing

Cadillac up there,

just as long as

i get to have

sex with you after.

Wow. Um...

There's the pool

stick downstairs,

i could try it.

Uh, yeah.

That sounds great.

Why don't you give

me another hit

and then run that

- cute little butt of yours downstairs and grab it.

- Okay?

Okay.

Mmm.

I'll be

right back.

Oh, yes. Go!

Tina, I love you.

Sammy,

we're gonna need

more balloons.

You're right,

people are

going nuts for...

Billy!

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

Thad, thank you

so much for

this opportunity.

Leave the

lot to me.

Thank you

so much.

Tina!

Tina, is that you?

Okay, well,

i hear walking,

I wanna hear

some running, okay?

Get over

here, Tina.

Whoa.

Uh, all right.

All right.

Oh! Wow! Wow!

That felt very nice.

You are a dirty girl,

Tina. Dirty girl.

Oh, go easy...

Go easy...

Easy...

Nice and slow.

All right, finish it up

so I can have sex with you,

okay?

Sammy! I'm ready

if you are!

Tina!

Billy! Bad Billy!

That's a bad goat.

Bad goat, Billy!

Bad goat, Billy!

Bad goat!

Hey, everybody!

Listen up.

I have a very important

announcement to make.

Donnie schrab is gay!

Not a big deal

everybody.

So you know,

I don't know,

buy him a drink...

Or if you're a guy,

suck his dick

or whatever.

But it's great.

Let's party!

Hey, are you feeling

a little overshadowed

by all this?

I mean, a cheerleader

comes out as gay

and no one

bats an eye.

But when

a football player does,

suddenly

he's the hero?

Mary Jo, wait!

Do you have

any blueberry waffles

because I'm super-duper

starving right now.

Is that a yes?

Mary Jo! Ah...

Oh, sh*t.

The auction!

Where did he...

- Thad!

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