Boo! A Madea Halloween Page #3

but took a handful out.

What... Did you do that?

Did you see me do that?

Listen, let me tell you something.

You need to teach your son

these principles at home, honey.

That's why they call it

"trick or treat."

That is not nice.

What's wrong with you?

Hold on now, you ain't finna be

gettin' on my damn friend.

Let me tell you something, honey.

You gone and had your child

disrespecting her, okay?

If she say she didn't do it,

she didn't do it.

You understand?

We let us... Hold on.

You talk about look at her?

Look at your child.

What about... What about him?

He is just perfect.

What's wrong?

You asking what's wrong with her?

What's wrong with your damn child?

- Mabel. Mabel.

- What?

That baby can hear you.

I don't give a damn if he can hear me.

Come out here, you got him

trick or treating for candy.

You need to have him trick or treating

for a damn treadmill or an elliptical.

- Momma!

- It's okay!

- It's okay! It's okay!

- Come on, bull!

Come on, bull! Come on, bull!

Come on, bull!

Come on, bull!

You run your ass up on me,

I'ma make some steak!

- Mabel.

- What?

They need to learn some time.

- Mabel.

- What?

What the hell is that?

What is that?

Some damn person acting the fool

dressed like a clown.

I don't like this.

They better not come over here with

their foolishness. That's what I know.

Mabel, I'm scared. I don't like this.

- What the hell you scared of?

- Because I don't like this.

Who you know ride up in a box?

And he wind it up, you let something

jump up out of that damn box.

Come over here. My friend is scared.

Don't come over here

with that foolishness.

Don't come over here!

That's gonna make him

come over here, Bam.

- Here he come.

- Hello?

- Hey, Madea. How you doing?

- Hey, Brian. How you doing?

I'm good. I'm good.

Listen, I gotta go

out of town until Sunday

and I was wondering if you can come by

and just keep an eye on Tiffany?

No, son. No, I can't come over there.

It's Halloween night,

you know I don't like to go

nowhere on Halloween.

- Yeah, I know.

- My feet hurting...

I ain't got no gas in my car.

- Okay, great, I get it.

- I got gout in...

Mabel.

Hush, Barn. Calm down.

Don't worry about that fool

coming over here.

Let him come over here.

- I don't like no clowns.

- It's gonna be all right.

Don't come over here.

You better not come over here

with this foolishness like...

dressed up like a damn clown.

My breast is hurting, my back

is hurting. You know, we hit this age

everything hurts something.

No, son. No, I can't.

I'll pay You-

I'm on my way.

I'll be there in an hour.

That's what I thought.

Look. Look, there. There. There.

Don't come over here

with that damn foolishness.

I'm telling you right now.

- Dea.

- Don't be scared, honey.

Look here, you scaring my friend.

- Mmm-mmm. Look. Mmm-mmm.

- Bam, calm down.

My friend is scared. Y'all need to

go the hell on with all that foo...

Oh, you think I'm playing.

See, now that's what I'm talking about.

Let something jump up out of there.

Let something jump up

out of this damn box.

Let something come up out of there.

Boo!

- Damn, y'all!

- Yeah, you get.

You got knocked the... out.

Damn, Dea.

You ain't got to hit her like that.

- Joe?

- Help me up off this ground.

Hattie?

What the hell wrong with y'all?

Damn, Ma! You ain't had

to punch me like that.

- You lucky I didn't shoot your ass!

- You all right, Hattie?

Hell, no, I ain't all right.

She just punched me like a damn dude.

The hell wrong with you, Hattie?

You know black people

scared of every damn thing.

- You all right, baby. Walk it off.

- Walk it off?

- Walk it off.

- Walk it off?

- Walk it off.

- I ain't walking nothing off.

Look at Barn out here

shaking like a salt shaker.

Barn always shaking.

Hell, every time she walk, she shaking.

It's called aftershock.

You wrong for that, Ma.

We weren't doing nothing

but trying to scare y'all.

Don't do that, Hattie.

You know I'm scared of everything.

Right, yeah, you know

every time she gets too scared

she drop a tear and if she laugh

too hard, she'll squirt a little pee.

Mabel, you don't have to

keep telling everybody that.

- Well, it's the truth.

- No, it ain't.

Yes. You know you squirt a little pee

- every time you get scared.

- No, I don't!

It's true. You probably wet right now.

- I'll be... I'll be right back.

- See? What I tell you?

Hurry up in there.

We gotta go on over to Brian's house.

Oh, hell, they got drinks over there.

- Drinks?

- Ain't nobody invite you over there.

You ain't getting in my car

till you take them damn clown suits off.

Come on, Joe. Ain't nobody

got to invite me for a drink.

- Hurry up! Hurry up in there, Barn!

- I'm gonna get me one.

Madea, hey.

Hey, there. How you doing, baby?

Good to see you.

I'll tell you about it when you go in.

- You brought my daddy.

- What up, b*tch?

Daddy, don't use

that language in this house.

- Hey, Brian!

- Oh, Ms. Hattie, how you doing?

- Hey! Give me a hug.

- Oh, no. Oh, no, no.

I'll pass on that.

I'll pass on that.

- Why?

- You know why!

Every time you hug up on him,

you thrust your pelvis into his.

What? He a grown-ass man,

he can take it.

- I don't want to take it, Ms. Hattie.

- You can take it if you want to, Brian.

I don't want to take it, Ms. Hattie.

Thank you, I don't wanna take it.

Hattie, I know damn well

you are not flirtin'.

Keep it up I'ma knock you

upside your head, hell.

Now, Joe, I done told you

about talkin' at me like that.

You think I'm some baby...

You sit down over there,

sh*t and hell.

Would y'all stop all that?

Calm down.

Brian, come on, baby, can you please

help me in here to the chairs, baby?

- Help you, sure.

- Yeah. Please, help me in here.

Listen, the steps are

too hard for me now.

- Yes, I know.

- Ever since my hip surgery.

- Didn't know you were coming.

- You didn't know I was coming?

But did you know I had hip surgery?

You know I had hip... Listen.

- Somebody told me.

- That man cut me...

- Did he?

- Yes, he did. Him.

He cut me, Brian,

all the way from down here,

all the way back here...

- mid my apple.

- Hey, you need your cane?

Yeah, I need these canes.

I need 'em. Just set 'em...

Yes, I'm on the canes, now.

I need 'em, yeah.

- But you gave 'em to...

- Yeah, put 'em over there.

Sit 'em up there on the wall,

over there.

Listen, Brian,

but I just thank God...

- Thank God that I'm in my right mind.

- Hmm.

- And that my heart is still beating.

- Hmm.

- Ho!

- Yeah.

Sometimes I can't

hardly pee, though.

Thank you so much for sharing.

I appreciate it, thank you.

Bam, that ain't polite conversation.

You know, just one or two drops,

Mabel, that's it.

Don't nobody wanna hear

about your one or two drops.

I wonder why that is.

It's prostate cancer, that's what it is.

You got that prostate...

You got the prostate cancer.

Joe, shut up!

What the hell you think it is?

What the hell else is it,

Rate this script:4.0 / 17 votes