Boo! A Madea Halloween Page #6

So we should all go to sleep.

It's safer there, anyways.

The ghosts come out at midnight.

Okay. Time for me to go.

- Barn.

- I gotta get out of here.

Bam, hold the hell on.

- Barn.

- What?

What the hell's wrong with you?

Mabel, did you hear what she just said?

- Barn.

- What?

You forgot your canes.

- On!

- On!

Joe!

But ain't God good?

I don't even need my canes, Mabel.

- Sit down!

- Mabel.

Hell, we been helpin' you for days,

and you sittin' there actin' like

somethin' wrong with you.

Ain't nothing wrong with you. Sit down!

Yes.

This girl ain't doin'

nothin' but sitting here lyin'.

No, I'm not.

I'm telling the truth!

Girl, if you don't get up out

of here with that devilment,

I mean, you better get to steppin'.

I'm telling you. I'm going to bed.

'Cause after 10:
00, strange things

start happening in this house.

Strange things.

No. I ain't gonna even be

able to do this.

I can't I got...

That's gonna blow my high.

High... You smoke marijuana?

I got a prescription!

You, little girl,

stay in a child's place.

Mabel, I gotta get outta here.

I'm scared, and I gotta

- get outta here, now!

- Calm down, Bam. Bam!

Calm the hell down.

This girl is lyin'.

I'm gonna go to bed.

Don't let the ghosts get you.

Be on outta here.

She lyin'. Hold on!

What? Oh.

I'ma f*** you up!

What the hell was that?

I'm sorry.

What happened to the lights?

Help me, Jesus.

That was Mr. Wilson.

Girl, get out of here.

You ain't doin' nothin' but lyin'.

Hell, that was just...

That was just...

That was just...

That was just power...

Power... P... That was just...

That was just the power acting up.

- Okay, well, goodnight.

- Go to bed!

Go to bed, girl, hell.

All right.

Sittin' there tellin' all them lies.

- Come on, Aday.

- I'm scared.

- Come on!

- Okay, okay.

Dea, Dea, I'm scared.

- Me too.

- Bam, calm the hell down.

Calm the hell down.

- Tiffany, come on!

- It's time to go.

Shh! Don't wake the old people!

Okay, gonna fix the bed.

- Fix the bed. Pull this down.

- What are we doing to the bed?

We're gonna make it look like

we're sleeping in here.

Oh.

- Like a body?

- Yeah, like a body.

Okay.

Wait, over there. Here. Okay.

That looks like you been eatin' good.

Wait, hold on.

Okay. Let's sneak down the back stairs.

- Oh, I don't know about this.

- Come on.

- Close the door.

- Okay.

Good Lord.

Hmm.

This damn girl has snuck up

out of this damn house!

Bam, y'all ain't gonna believe this.

Y'all ain't gonna believe this at all.

What that, Ma?

That girl has snuck up

out of this house.

- Uh-uh.

- No!

Yes, she did.

Well, where's she going to?

Probably over there to that frat party.

I knew it.

You talkin' 'bout over there where

all them fine, sexy college men's be?

Hattie...

Let's ride.

Come on, Joe.

No, you go on, I'm gonna stay here

and pray for her safe return.

Hey, hey. Hey, come here, come here.

- Joe, what is it?

- Come here.

- Come here.

- What is it?

- Let me hold one of them...

- Joe.

Why you gotta be all stingy

'cause you legal, baby?

Come on, help me out.

Joe, I got a prescription for this here.

I don't have any for you.

The Lord gonna bless you, you share.

You make me so sick!

Here, Joe. This... You owe me.

All right. When you come back,

I'll tap that ass for you.

In that case, you gonna be payin' me.

Is it like that?

Go ahead on, then. I'll be here,

waitin' for y'all to get back.

Prayin' for her safe return.

That the Lord will bless her.

Hey, I need a lighter!

Wait, Mabel, stop it!

I know, I know, damn well...

Let's get out of the car here.

You didn't have to be

jacking my neck like that.

Damn! What, it backfired.

You know my brakes is bad, Hattie.

Hey, what the hell does that mean?

Uh... Lord, have mercy.

Look at these children.

Hurry up, Bam, get out the car.

Look at this.

Look at this.

Look at all these fine,

sexy college men in here.

Girl, leave...

Hattie, leave them children alone.

What, Ma? You know I don't mind buying

two or three college books for these...

Well, somebody gonna throw

a damn book at you.

Leave these little boys alone.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

What the hell is that?

It's my costume, I'm Peter Pan.

Duh!

She said she pissed her pants!

You know she said

she pissed her pants!

I didn't piss in my pants!

Don't do that

in front of these children!

- Get on in the house.

- I said I'm Peter Pan!

Go on up in there

and help me find this girl.

All this foolishness.

Yo-ho-yo-yo-yo-yo!

Sick costume, bro!

What? What is wrong with you?

Dude.

- Whoa!

- Boy, what the hell?

Put your hand on my damn breast again.

I just wanted to say

it looked real!

Like, saggy and lumpy...

But real.

Hey, let me see 'em.

Say What?

- Show us your b*obs, please?

- You got some beads or something?

You gonna put some dollar bills

up in these breasts?

- No, we just wanna see 'em.

- We just like b*obs.

- What? You wanna see 'em.

- Yeah!

B*obs! Let's see b*obs.

- You wanna see 'em?

- Yeah, twin peaks.

You wanna see 'em?

- Yes.

- Wait.

Yes. Behold, paradise.

Right before your eyes.

How'd you get it to look like

real skin though, man?

Touch 'em.

Touch 'em. Touch 'em.

Look at those veins.

- Nipples and everything.

- Such intricate...

See how warm?

How'd you get the veins to look...

- See how warm?

- And they're wrinkly.

See how warm?

- I think this is real.

- Oh, no, no, no.

- No, those are real.

- Like saggy sandbags.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

- I need a drink.

- Oh, my God.

Move, move, move! Oh, my God.

Grabbin' on me, hell,

I used to get dollar bills for that!

I'll make it rain up in this piece.

Barn, Hattie, y'all wait for me.

Get the hell on out the damn way.

Damn chicken! And a banana.

What the hell, you waitin'?

You wanna see this ass?

Come here, I'm gonna show you this ass!

Come see it!

Come on back here!

Where the hell they run to?

Hattie, Bam, where y'all at?

Mabel! It's a lot to look at in here.

It sure the hell is, it sure is.

- Damn!

- Excuse me, miss...

Mabel!

This here is a costume party.

I don't know

if that was a costume, hell.

We gonna have to look up under

every one of 'em till we find 'em.

Okay, great, I don't mind doing that.

Hattie, Hattie. Under the face!

Up under the face!

You ain't gonna find her up

under his pants.

You don't know what

she come as! She could be...

She at a costume party,

she could have come as anything!

Wait a minute.

Yeah, there it is. Mabel,

I'm gonna look upstairs.

Bam, look around down here.

Hattie, you go on up there

'cause you can handle it.

This girl, she still fiendin'.

And I'm gonna go

and look around down here.

- Go on and look around.

- Okay, Ma.

'- I got...

Tiffany! Excuse me,

excuse me, honey. Excuse me.

Is that what you call dancing?

Yeah, some of y'all need

some masks on for real.

Why y'all children

up in here lookin' like hoes?

Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.

What the hell y'all got on?

Lord, have mercy.

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