Boo 2! A Madea Halloween Page #4

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I bet you if I pulled your darn eyes out,

and turn them around have them look

at your darn lips, you'll see 'em.

I can't watch my darn mouth.

I can't see it. That's ignorant.

Just shut up, Mabel. Hell.

Do you see my mouth? I can't see it.

Joe, shut the hell up. Just shut up.

Close your legs.

I know she can't close them legs.

You know why? Nuts.

[HATTIE LAUGHING]

[BRIAN] You wanna see

something funny? Watch this.

Hi, Calvin.

He never talks to me.

He ain't gonna say nothin' back to you?

[JOE] He don't speak to you

when you in your own house

and you won't set it straight?

That's all you got to say?

You don't let no woman bring

no man up in your house!

Beat his ass!

Daddy, we are not those kind of people.

We are people with class.

B*tch, did you hear one word that I said?

Class? We ain't never have no damn class.

We didn't even go to class.

[CHUCKLES]

Calvin, this is my father, Joe.

Hi, Mr. Joe.

Nigga, don't freakin' talk to me!

I don't know you like that, mothertrucker!

Joe, shut the hell up.

You are ruining my son's life.

Look at him, standin' there lookin' like a...

[SIGHS]

Daddy, that's enough.

Don't you damn say

no damn "Daddy" to me here.

- This woman...

- [MADEA] Joe, hush up!

You better watch your daughter

'cause she gonna be just like her.

- Ain't gonna be sh*t either.

- [MADEA] Joe.

Hello.

[MADEA] Oh, there she is!

[ALL] Surprise!

She's here!

Oh, hell. Surprise, then!

- Get on out my damn way.

- Oh, my.

[JOE] Move!

I need a joint.

S-Surprise!

- Surprise!

- Thanks.

Oh, babe, I was gonna get you somethin',

but my check was late, and I, I...

But my heart was in the right place.

Thank you.

You surprised?

Baby, you don't look too surprised

to see us sittin' here

after I done drove all the way over here

to this part of town

with no driver's license.

You need to at least look surprised.

Well, I had a feeling you'd be here

'cause it's the same people every year.

[BAM] Well, I mean, that's stupid.

You have a birthday every year,

what you expect?

Okay, somebody... somebody better get her.

[CHUCKLES] Y'all better get her.

Hey, Tiffany, come here!

Look who's here! Look who's here!

Look, your friends.

[TIFFANY] From elementary school.

[GABRIELLA] Even I don't deal with them.

I'm gonna put some music on.

This is gonna be so great.

BJ, put the music on.

- Hi!

- [TIFFANY] Hi, you're here too?

- Happy birthday.

- [TIFFANY] Thank you.

Your dad called me like ten times.

So I had to come.

I'm sorry, he does this every year.

Yeah, it's cute.

[CHUCKLES]

Hi, girls.

- Hi!

- Hi, Mr. Victor!

You guys are growin' up so quickly.

Dad, would you stop? You're so embarrassing.

He's so hot.

You have a thing with dads,

- and I'm worried for you.

- So what? It's just a little thing.

[CLEARS THROAT] Anyways, I'm so glad

you're here, 'cause I was gonna call you.

- Why, what's up?

- There's a party tonight.

Where?

Um, well,

[WHISPERS] it's at Lake Derrick.

The frat boys are having another party,

but it's my year to turn up!

My parents are gonna kill me if I tell them.

Don't worry about it. I have a plan.

Oh, I gotta hear this.

[THE WESTBOUND GANG, "WHOOMP! THERE IT IS"

PLAYING ON STEREO]

All right, all right.

Time for the father-daughter dance.

- Hey, hey, hey!

- Dad, no, no. Come on!

- Do the Fire Hydrant, do the Fire Hydrant.

- What is the Fire Hydrant?

It's the dog... Do the Fire Hydrant.

Do the Sprinkler. [IMITATING SPRINKLER]

Do the Toilet Seat. Do the Toilet Seat.

Oh, baby, how come we can't dance like that?

Because that's embarrassing.

I'm not doing that.

- [VICTOR] Just one.

- No. No, no.

- Come on, dance.

- No, I don't wanna dance, Dad.

Get it, get it, get it. Get it, get it.

Oh, get it, get it. He done told you.

Come on. Get it, get it, get it.

Come on, girl!

[EXCLAIMING]

What up, what up? Get your donk on.

Get your donkey whipped.

[LEAH] Look at that! Uh, uh, uh.

[BAM] Yeah, girl. Go.

I can't do this. I'm gonna go get some water.

Oh.

You're not enjoying

your party, are you, baby?

No, I'm not.

- [BRIAN] It's okay.

- Brian, that girl's so damn rude.

- I could just kill her!

- Okay, all right. Okay.

And pass it.

Pass it back, pass it.

- Take it, take it!

- Okay. All right, sure.

- [BRIAN MUMBLING]

- You know what? This party is bunk.

- Mom, please.

- [CHUCKLES]

I know you're not happy.

So tonight, I think you should let Calvin

and I take you to dinner.

That sounds great,

but I got invited to a Halloween party.

Halloween is tomorrow.

But the party starts tonight.

What? All night?

Now you know your daddy will not...

I know, but maybe...

I was thinking,

I could spend the night at your place

and you could just let me go.

You know what? That's a good idea. [LAUGHS]

I mean, you're 18!

- You're grown! Yes!

- [TIFFANY] Yeah!

So will you tell him or will I?

Oh, no, no. Let me tell him.

You know I love getting under his skin.

Okay! [CHUCKLES]

Almost sundown. You know what that means!

Pin the tail on the donkey call! [CHUCKLES]

And you know what else we gonna do?

I got a petting zoo outside.

A freakin' petting zoo outside.

You are not going to believe this.

I don't believe it.

- [BRIAN] Come on, come see!

- It's a petting zoo.

I'm sorry.

This is a birthday party for an 18-year-old.

Sh*t, Brian ought to be ashamed of himself.

It's so lame. He ought to feel bad.

Yeah, hell yeah, it's lame.

This girl don't bit mo' wanna be here

than the man in the moon.

Hey. When I think about a man in the moon...

[CHUCKLES]

You got one hell of a moon on you.

Have you ever seen it? It's full.

[CHUCKLING]

[MOCK CHUCKLING]

And here we go! Here we go!

Look what I have for you!

Look, a petting zoo!

[TIFFANY] A petting zoo?

Hi. This is Rose and Renee.

They were in the circus

and they are a part of the petting zoo.

They have these horses for you!

- Hi.

- Hi.

We'll be out here when you're ready.

- Okay, thanks.

- Thank you.

[BRIAN] You used to love this

when you were little.

[TIFFANY] Yeah, when I was four.

[SALT-N-PEPA, "PUSH IT" PLAYING ON STEREO]

# Number one in a hot party show

Now push it #

Lord, what the hell Hattie doing?

[JOE] Look at her.

- [BAM] Joe!

- [JOE] Look at that!

Watch it. Her knee's gonna

go out in a minute.

# Push it good, ah, push it #

[SCREAMING]

How you know her knee was gonna lock up, Joe?

- That's nasty, Joe.

- That's how I know.

[HATTIE] Time for this, here.

I'm too old for this.

That hurt like a son of a...

He ought to feel bad.

Bought that child some headphones.

Brian, you did a good job, baby.

You did a good job with this party.

You did a good job.

I don't feel like I did a good job.

Baby, she loved this party. She loved it.

Don't be lyin' to this boy.

He ain't do no damn good job.

That girl out there miserable.

[MADEA] Joe, shut the hell up.

Son, if you gonna throw

a party for an 18-year-old,

there's some things you need.

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