Book Club Page #7

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- Mmm.

- Right?

- Cheers.

- Oh, cheers, okay.

Boom.

Can I show you something?

- Sure.

- Come with me.

What are we doing?

Wait.

- Are you nervous?

- Oh... Should I be?

Mm-hmm.

I'm not sure

I've ever met anybody

who owned

their own barn before.

You got to get out

of the city more often.

Uh-huh. Oh, no, wait, no.

Forget it.

There is no chance in hell

I'm getting into that thing.

No. No!

You're gonna love it.

It's gonna be great.

I'm sorry, but...

What are you talking about?

No, I'm not

getting in there.

These are the controls.

Don't touch anything.

If you touch it,

we'll crash.

- Don't say that.

- I'm kidding.

This is my baby, okay?

See that "B" there?

You see?

- It's a Beechcraft Bonanza V-Tail.

- Okay.

And it's been my passion

project for the last...

20 years.

Twenty years! Wait a minute.

How old is this thing?

- It's a 1951.

- Whoa!

I'm a 1951!

Let me out of here!

No, seriously.

- Okay, we're going up.

- Wait, no.

I'm gonna regret this!

Oh, please. No, no, you have

a death wish. Death wish!

- Please.

- [Mitchell] We're all gonna die someday, Diane.

I just feel like it's worth

living a little bit

while we still can.

[screams]

[pop music playing]

[inaudible]

Overwhelming, huh?

Wanna hold on to the...

- Oh, okay.

- Just hold on to it.

I'll hold on.

- No!

- See that?

Yes.

Oh, no, that's...

- I'm gonna bank, to the right.

- You're gonna bank?

[Diane] Oh...

[Mitchell]

You know what that is?

Yes. That's Cathedral Rock.

That's right.

Oh, my God.

[sighs]

[whinnying]

And all this, though,

from being a pilot

- is what you're saying, right? This?

- No.

- No?

- No, what happened was I got out of the Air Force,

and I went to work for this

aeronautical research lab.

And, you know, I came up

with this design that...

that reduced engine drag

in a jet.

It's silly,

but it's a big patent,

and this is what happened

right here. See?

[cell phone vibrating]

You're gonna have to

introduce me to your family.

When can I meet them?

- I don't think that's a good idea.

- Why?

Because they're still very sensitive

about their father and...

What about you?

Well, I'm...

I mean, I loved him.

But I guess I realized

I was in mourning

for the end of something.

It's been a long time.

I mean, I guess, I don't know,

the world sees your...

your relationship

in one way,

you just kind of

go along, but...

then the truth is...

it had been over between us

for a long time.

So...

what do you think of that?

You don't want to hear

my sad story, do you?

Maybe you should

tell me yours.

[Mitchell]

I don't have a sad story.

[Diane] You don't have a sad

story 'cause you're rich.

It's been 24 hours

and there's still no answer.

Okay, I'm sure she's fine.

You're so sure

everything is fine!

She could be passed out

in a ditch somewhere!

Adrianne, please calm down.

- I'm calling Jill.

- You're being hormonal!

[vibrates]

[vibrates]

[pop music playing]

Sharon, is that you?

Tom? Hi.

Wow! Hi!

Hi...

- Unexpected.

- Yeah.

Your hair's... dark.

Oh, it's dyed.

- I know.

- Right, right.

I want to introduce you

to someone.

Oh, actually, I have to...

[Tom] Babe! Come here.

Babe, babe,

I want you to meet Sharon.

Sharon,

this is my fiance, Cheryl.

It is so nice

to meet you!

I've heard so much

about you.

Sharon?

Excuse me, are you Sharon?

- Yeah.

- I'm so sorry I'm late.

I was in a complicated

sinus surgery.

Don't ask.

[chuckles]

Hi, I'm Dr. Derek.

You can just call me Derek.

Hi, I'm Tom.

- Kill me now.

- I'm sorry, who are you?

Dr. Derek. Derek.

Sharon's date.

- Wow.

- Hi. I am Cheryl.

I didn't know you were seeing someone.

That's great.

You look so amazing

without your mask!

[coos] Oh, how sweet.

You should bring Dr. Derek

to the party next week.

- What?

- The double-engagement party. Didn't Jared tell you?

[Tom] Cheryl and I

got engaged.

We've having a little

celebration with our friends.

But it really is

for Jared and Kate.

- [Cheryl] We would so love to have you.

- [Tom] Yes.

- And you, too, Doctor.

- [Tom] Yeah.

Well, that sounds so nice!

Say, do you need a DJ?

I do that on the side.

- Ooh!

- Ooh!

[Tom] Do you do the vinyl

or what do you do, CDs?

[chattering]

- Here you go.

- Thank you.

You sure you're okay

in the bar?

Yeah. It's gonna be like

the good old days.

Cheers.

Ha! Am I ever.

Inner goddess doing

the merengue, my ass!

So is this where you

take all the boys?

Only the ones I don't want

to be seen with at the bar.

Well, I'll choose

to take that as a compliment.

Restricted area, huh?

[Vivian] Owner's perks.

Look at this.

A single solitary chair.

It's all a girl needs.

It's like a queen's throne

atop her castle.

Look. Look at the view.

[Arthur] Yeah. Look at

all those twinkling lights.

All those lives being lived.

As the poem goes, you took

the road less traveled,

and it made...

all the difference.

You know, that's not really

what that poem is about.

- Is that right?

- No.

It's, um...

It's about how we... we tell

the story of our lives,

so we feel heroic, brave...

but in fact,

there's no difference

in the paths to begin with.

- No difference in the paths?

- Nope.

Fascinating poem.

Arthur, come here.

Look at this. You see that

building with the red lights?

- Is that our diner?

- Yeah.

I can't believe your hotel

overlooks our favorite place.

According to the airline, your

mother never boarded her flight.

- Oh, my God.

- You said not to worry about it!

- Okay, you can worry now.

- What?

However...

we did trace a signal

to her cell phone.

- What?

- Okay.

- What does that mean?

- We know where she is.

- She's been kidnapped?

- I did not say that.

- Is there a ransom?

- You know where she is?

In a case like this,

it's best to remain calm.

- Let's get a grip, folks.

- You know where she is?

If you had to guess,

what would you say?

I don't have to guess,

I actually know.

- Well, then take us there!

- Can I see the pad?

I can't believe

you put Viagra in my beer.

Well, it was

an innocent mistake.

Oh, innocent. How is it innocent?

You poisoned me.

Hardly.

Do not use that word.

- I'm sorry. How does it feel?

- Hard!

I thought we weren't

gonna use that word.

I can, you can't.

- God, there are so many rules.

- Don't, Carol!

- [tires squealing]

- Jeez.

I'll tell you something, I don't

think it ought to go to waste.

- [Bruce] Seriously! Stop it.

- [Carol] Calm down.

[sirens blaring]

Really?

I'm being pulled over.

Sir, I'm gonna need you

to step out of the vehicle.

I don't think that's

a good idea, Officer.

Out of the car now!

Okay, okay.

Gosh darn it.

Man.

Look, I'm sorry. Uh, my wife

put Viagra in my drink.

It's actually true.

It's my bad, I'm so sorry.

But you see, it's just he's

been having a little trouble

in that department,

and he was embarrassed.

And if there's one thing

I know about this man,

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