Booty Call Page #4

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First, l"ve got some toys,

and then l"ve got some ice.

- Some ice?

- Oh, yeah. Girl, I love ice.

L"m gonna start at his toes

and just get him to...

- No, no, we closed.

- Yo, yo, we just want some condoms.

No condoms for Yoyo.

Yoyo, come here!

He"s saying "yo" like "yo, man."

He"s not calling my name.

No "Yoyo." "Yo, yo." I understand.

Yo, later on, I get to dip

that soy sauce, is that cool?

Come on, man. We got the girls

waiting for us back at the crib, man.

Girl, girl. I have just what you need.

Very special. Very rare.

Tiger penis.

Make you strong

in all the right places.

Look, l"m already the king

of the jungle, know what l"m saying?

Man, just give us

the best condoms you got.

Fine, fine.

Lambskin.

Very sensitive. Twelve-pack.

Leaves some feeling

for your jimmy. Only $38.

- Thirty-eight dollars?

- Look, man.

I ain"t got 12 d*cks to put that on.

I just need one or two.

No can break box.

Only have 12-pack.

Twelve condom not much

for king of the jungle.

You trying to break my pockets, G.

Gi, my cousin. I am Chiu.

Now, you want skins or what?

Yo, man, if you get those,

you better hit some Nikki skins.

- What other choice have we got?

- You know, me, I just put the tip in.

You might not be putting nothing in.

Hey, tonight, before the sun rises.

Hey, look, all I need is one.

L"II just wash it out and use it again.

Recycle, baby.

L"m back.

Nikki.

Champagne.

"Open me." I can do that.

Or at least I think I can. Get your...

Hi.

Just got a little excited.

- Maybe I should put this thing on ice.

- Put it on ice.

I could do that too.

What"s wrong?

Damn cardboard is sticking me.

- Condoms.

- Condoms.

Safe way to go.

- What kind of condoms are these?

- "Condom" condoms, babe.

These are lambskin. Don"t you listen

to the surgeon general?

Lambskin condoms don"t

protect you against the HIV virus.

Baby, l"m government-tested,

grade A, clear as a bell.

- Don"t even go there.

- Yeah, but...

Rushon, just go to the store

and get some latex.

Okay? Please.

Latex.

Latex.

Goddamn sheep.

Wimpy little woolly lamb-chop ass.

Where you going?

I was gonna put some clothes on

and take Killa for a walk.

- L"II take Killa for a walk. Okay?

- Okay.

We supposed to be

bonding anyway, right?

Man"s best friend, right?

You just stay put with your fine self.

You got that?

- L"II be back.

- Okay.

Bunz...

...the condoms we got

are no good, man.

L"m going back to Mr. Chiu"s.

They"re lambskin.

What am I doing?

Hey, have a good time, man.

- We will!

- We will!

Bye, Rushon.

Let me see who that is.

It might be important.

Hold on, now. Hello?

Hey, Nik.

Yeah?

All right. He"II be right out.

L"m not going anywhere, you hear me?

We spent $38 on those condoms.

I don"t want to go out again.

L"m hot, l"m bothered.

I might hurt somebody.

- Not you. Because I don"t hit women.

- Relax. Look.

I am gonna turn you

every which way but loose.

- That"s what l"m talking about.

- After you buy...

...a latex condom, okay?

- Okay.

- Good.

- When I come back, we doing this.

- Oh, yeah.

We doing this. Do you understand?

No phone ringing.

If the Avon lady"s at the door,

l"II bust her ass...

...unless she got some condoms.

All right?

Why don"t we just wait on

the Avon lady.

Go.

It"s so dark outside.

Can you believe this?

Bet he"s with Yoyo painting

stripes on that tiger penis.

She need to be hanging

with this jungle snake.

- What are we gonna do now?

- What we gonna do? No, no.

What you gonna do?

Because I have mine going on.

And if this dog don"t quit

sniffing on my boots...

...l"m gonna show you

the true meaning of doggystyle.

- Rushon. Oh, my God, my man main.

- Singh, my nigga.

- Aren"t you on 125th Street?

- L"m a floater.

I work at Harlem, Chinatown, Hunt"s

Point, Coney Island, Hell"s Kitchen.

I don"t give a sh*t. L"m a floater.

No dogs allowed, my friend.

No, my brother,

that"s a Seeing Eye dog.

Well, see his nasty little rodent ass

out to the curb.

- He"s got a point, my friend.

- You"re looking at the dog"s ass?

He"s got a point too. One to one.

- What? L"m on your side.

- You started this sh*t.

- Y"all got some kerosene?

- Aisle two.

- Aisle three.

- You moved the kerosene.

- Tell me when you move things.

- Do I have to?

L"d like to f*** the dog.

Do I have to tell you that?

Singh, I need some latex condoms.

Okay? They gotta be latex.

Mr. Black Man, I can"t see you.

Come to the front.

You came to the right place.

We have Ginza, Sheik, Hot Tamale.

Booty Call, Backdoor Man,

Manhandlers.

Ramrod, Lube Job, In Deep.

Joy Trail, Buckwild

and Goodyear Eagles.

Goodyear got a condom too?

- Non-skid, maxi-tread.

- Give me the Sheik. No offence.

Let me get the same thing he"s got,

and also get some Backdoors.

- Oh, my God.

- I don"t think you want them.

- They"re for gay men.

- Don"t wanna go there.

I don"t know. You could be

a bit of a doo-doo chaser.

A sodomite, with hair like that.

Hell, no. Y"all got me f***ed up.

I like the fuzzy stuff,

don"t get me wrong.

My hair is just a statement

of my individuality.

- Like I said, a sodomite.

- Or sodo-maybe.

- Very good. High-two.

- Oh, yeah. High-two.

- Where are your condoms, man?

- Over there.

And l"m watching you.

Mind your business.

- What"s a sodomite, anyway?

- You don"t wanna know.

I thought he was saying I was, like,

Dolemite"s cousin or something.

Damn. I forgot Killa.

Sh*t.

Hold.

Killa.

Come here. Killa.

No, you gotta be firm with them.

Heel!

- Damn!

- Oh, sh*t. Come here.

Girl, that"s right. He is out

right now taking care of Killa.

Looks like Rushon has worked

his way right on in, huh?

Honey, let me tell you, my man...

...has earned everything

l"m about to give him.

Come here, come here,

you little mutt!

I hate dogs.

Okay, Bunz, I got it. L"II tell Nikki

Killa"s with you and Lysterine.

- That way we can still get busy...

- Wait, wait.

I will not get caught up

in your web of deception.

There"s one thing I don"t do,

and that"s lie.

All right, when Nikki

is crying on Lysterine"s shoulder...

...then what you gonna do?

- Let"s get our story straight.

No story required. Come on, B.

What happened?

What took you guys so long?

Me and Killa started playing

and lost track of time.

This dog is so frisky. You hear me?

Is there something on his sweater?

No.

Nothing on this sweater.

It"s a little shadowy in here.

You know it"s getting late.

Look at this!

Is that a strong dog or what?

Your dog is a trip, girl.

L"m telling you.

Are you gonna play with him all night

or come play with me?

L"II be right in there with you.

Go ahead. Just go in there.

- L"II be in there.

- Okay.

Don"t take too long.

Make me get nothing.

Rushon, what"s taking so long?

What are you supposed to be?

Jurassic Park, baby.

Getting prehistoric in here on you.

Come here, girl.

What are you doing?

Going downtown, baby,

on the A train.

Yeah, that"s great. That"s wonderful.

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