Bordello of Blood Page #5

Synopsis: The old bag of bones 'Cryptkeeper' returns for his second full length feature flick about a funeral home that's a front for a whorehouse run by vampires.
Director(s): Gilbert Adler
Production: Universal Studios
 
IMDB:
5.3
Rotten Tomatoes:
12%
R
Year:
1996
87 min
606 Views


They knew I was comin' back

so they changed it.

They're gaslighting me.

Why the hell should I

want you to come back?

We've already thrown you out

of the parking lot tonight.

He was carrying on

with some woman in his car.

Disgusting!

The two of them

stoned out of their minds.

You're a goddamn liar.

Ow! Ow!

Don't you dare

take the Lord's name in vain!

You were with a woman tonight

and have been drinking.

We can all smell it.

- Katherine...

- You know, you almost

had me believing you.

It would have served me right

for getting involved with a liar.

And a fornicator.

And an a**hole.

But a charming a**hole!

Hmm. Nice butt.

- You want me to finish him?

- No, I don't think

he'll bother us anymore.

Besides, you and me

have to talk.

About what?

Our future,

without the reverend.

If I were in charge here,

we'd have lots more fun.

You can't tell me you're

having fun working for the rev.

Plus, we're making

so much money

selling the cars.

Seems a shame

to give it to charity

when we could...

give it to someone

more deserving.

I'll make it happen

if you give me the key.

- How are things?

- Good. Good.

The girls are killing sinners

by the truckload.

The more...

The merrier.

J.C., I'd like to talk to you

about what I'm getting

from this bordello thing.

Brother Vincent,

we're doing this for the Lord.

That's what you're getting from it.

I know that,

but I was thinking,

if there was some way I could

make a little extra money.

Maybe I could make...

Brother Vincent,

am I hearing you right?

Sorry, J.C.

Bad idea.

Didn't know what

I was thinkin'.

Just forget

the whole thing.

#You know

my soul looked back #

# Soul looked back #

This thing gonna work?

Absolutely.

Go.

Stop, Satan!

Stop right where you are!

I'm sending you back

to the fiery depths

where you belong!

I said...

I'm sending you back

to the fiery depths...

Cut! What the hell...

Cut it!

Just... God.

Look what he's done

to my guitar.

What's he trying to do,

kill me?

We'll fix it, J.C.

Don't you worry.

You can wait in your office

while we reset everything.

Fine.

That was scary.

I'll say. I don't know why

they have that laserlight

turned up so high.

It could have hurt someone.

Good Lord!

All he has to do is

reflect it onto the devil.

Bunch of morons.

Whatever has happened

to your brother,

I'm sure Satan had a hand in it.

Was there something else

you wanted to talk about?

I'd like to make a documentary.

Really?

About?

Lust.

I want to warn young people

about all the things that inspire it.

You know, like strip joints

and dirty magazines, pornography.

What else can I say, but...

onward, Christian soldier.

Be careful.

"Flesh Eating Bacteria"?

The cat went from 280 pounds

to 114 pounds in three days?

What's wrong

with this picture?

Oh, Brother Vincent,

I was just looking for you.

Where you going?

I have a doctor's appointment.

You're so right,

Vincent.

We should definitely expand

into places like this.

I want that one

for myself.

Hi.

Vincent.

J.C.

Relax, sugar.

What the hell

is goin' on?

Game's over, Rev.

I'm drivin' now.

You vile, pernicious,

disgusting little harlot.

You're not so bad yourself.

I did not bring you here

for the purpose of feeding

your evil desires!

We are doing

the Lord's work.

Vincent...

give me the key.

No, Vincent.

Vincent!

Give me the key!

Hey, Rev, how'd you like to have

a real religious experience?

- Hey!

- Katherine Verdoux,

Current World Ministries.

Jonas, follow me.

Oh, my God!

Don't touch

the camera.

Excuse me, sir.

Can you please tell me

why you come here?

This place

is unbelievable.

Hi, sweetie.

You really get around,

don't you?

You're into prostitution

and strip joints.

Mm-hmm.

You're a total sex maniac.

You need professional help.

You want to play doctor?

- Get your hands off of me!

- Gimme the camera!

Oh, man.

Bingo. All right, boys,

big smiles now.

Beautiful.

Love it.

For God's sake, Vincent,

you are flirting

with eternal damnation!

Why don't you relax?

I bet that stick up your ass

hurts like hell.

I can't decide

what to do with you.

Should I kill you

or let you live

and make you my dog?

Vincent.

Vincent, give me the key.

Please. The key.

- For God's sake, hurry!

- You leave that thing

right where it is.

- Give me the key!

- Vincent.

Give it to me, and I will send this

demon slut back where she belongs!

Vincent,

what are you doing?

What I should have done

from the start.

No!

Thanks, honey.

Do us both a favor.

Kill him!

F***, no.

I want to let him live.

I want this sanctimonious sh*t

to watch what happens

now that I'm free.

- Katherine?

- How did you get in here?

Katherine, I have something

I have to show you.

You don't give up, do you?

It's like a sickness

with you or something.

I went to the Mount Hope

Cemetery last night.

The McCutcheon Mortuary held

an internment there yesterday.

I took some photos.

These photos are the contents

of the coffin they interred.

I think you're gonna

want to look at 'em.

Just take a look.

That's very nice.

You're worse than I thought.

You are really sick.

There were two bodies

in that coffin

when I took the pictures.

Two bodies.

Get your f***in' hands off me.

Sure.

At least come to the cemetery,

for Christ's sake! Take a look!

Sorry, Jonas.

Excuse me, sir.

Can you please tell me

why you come here?

There was a woman

at that table, wasn't there?

You're into prostitution...

I wasn't talking to myself.

I know there was somebody

at that table. Oh, my God.

Look, there's J.C.

Where?

I don't see him.

Right there!

Well, I'll be damned.

There he is

with the demented Ewok,

Professor Loveless.

You know, Katie Scarlett,

never...

trust any man of God

with a boner.

I mean an erection.

Sorry.

No, boner's the right word.

Wow.

What is he doing there?

It doesn't make any sense.

Let's get our facts

in order.

We have Reverend Current

leaving a topless bar.

That's an odd one.

And we have photos

and videotape with people

who didn't photograph or record.

Follow that thread

of thinking.

Did not photograph.

Did not record.

I don't want you to flee.

I'm gonna advance a weird,

Duchovnyan riff.

What if what we're

dealing with here...

is, in fact... vampires?

Are you crazy?

Why is that crazy?

Because I advance the theory

that the perpetrator

of our crimes...

is an eternal spirit who

sustains itself solely...

through the intake of human

hemoglobin through a set

of protracted fangs?

Shut up, Rafe.

Although... you have been right

about a lot of other things.

Wow.

Were you being nice

to me there, Katherine?

No. I just said you have been right

about a lot of other things.

Okay.

Hello.

Katherine, is that you?

Caleb?

It's Caleb.

I need your help.

I'm in trouble.

Where are you?

I'm at the old power plant

on the south side.

They're coming for me.

You gotta help me. Please.

I'm in trouble.

They're coming for me.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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